Image: Danielle Scott
Graffiti Ice Cream Truck
It’s a summer that some are calling the “hottest ever.” The thermometer is reaching unbearable heights as you slope down into a lawn chair beneath a shady tree. It’s impossible to cool your insides. Every glass of water you bring outside boils. You haven’t seen a solid ice cube since May. But wait, relief is in sight! The entrance hymn plays, “la-la la la la-la,” and there is the friendly neighborhood ice cream truck.
1. The Fiery Ice Cream Truck
Some ice cream vendors believe their most persuasive sales pitch is “Eat ice cream because it is hot.” While this is logical, orange flames and a uniform fit for the devil are a bit excessive. The Fiery Ice Cream Truck offers an alternative to ice cream, however. If lacking the $2 for a cone, a quarter can buy you a gum ball – also very satisfying while on fire.
2. The Banksy Ice Cream Truck
The famous graffiti artists explores the evils of the ice cream truck: melted ice cream, a run over pedestrian with a shopping cart, fire from the overheated refrigeration system, and a destroyed flower garden.
Thanks to the museum curator, the stream of vanilla ice cream from the Banksy ice cream truck is melting onto the statue of David.
Image: Dana Lookadoo
3. The Ice Cream Golf Cart
When Mrs. Williams’ husband began to spend most of his spare time on the golf course, Mrs. Williams needed a hobby so she, too, could keep busy. Mr. Williams bought his wife a pink golf cart, in the hopes she’d join him for 18 holes. Instead, Mrs. Williams combined her passion for ice cream with an unsuitable birthday present.
Image: Danielle Scott
4. The Pimped-Out Ice Cream Truck
Not every ice cream truck must sing “Whistle While You Work” and feature images of Disney characters. The Pimped Out Ice Cream Truck defies this stereotype by reminding pedestrians that even thugs can be transformed into smiling polar bears by enjoying a lick of an ice cream cone from time to time.
5. The Very Hyper Ice Cream Truck
Despite the grinning Donald Duck, kids may be a bit wary to approach an ice cream seller who so closely resembles the somewhat irrelevant sunglass-toting anteater mascot. And adults, too, will certainly be wary to approach a truck that reads “I heart fat.” On the positive side, you can get a nut sundae.
6. The Pint-sized Ice Cream Truck
If the Haagen-Dazs ice cream truck rolls up, you will certainly be more acutely aware of the 3-scoop sundae than the 3-wheel vehicle. Haagen-Dazs pints are a popular post-break-up indulgence. Perhaps the makers anticipate a heart-wrenching public episode, and have the emergency pint-sized ice cream truck on the scene.
7. The Ghetto Ice Cream Truck
Though for the most part child-friendly, there are some ice cream trucks that young girls and boys should simply not approach. While some child predators lure their innocent victims with candy and puppies, the ice cream villain takes a different approach.
By disguising his sketchy van with pink spray paint which cleverly reads “Ice Cream Ice,” the ice cream villain hopes to entrap those with a sweet tooth.
Image: That Other Paper
8. The Melted Ice Cream Truck
In your desperation for a frozen treat, you may be forgiving of a slightly unusual ice cream van design. For example, you may ignore the sickly state of the ice cream cone atop the Melted Ice Cream Truck. In a place as hot as Texas, ice cream doesn’t stay frozen for long. Therefore, to avoid any accusations of false advertising, the Austin-based ice cream truck illustrates what will likely occur to its product once it hits the Southwestern sun. Maybe next year the city should invest in an ice cream shake, rather than an ice cream cone, van.
Image: Mike Kirby
9. The Ice Cream Cycle
The Ice Cream Cycle is the most socially and environmentally conscious local dessert transport. Motor vehicles hurt the environment and waste natural resources, but a pedaled refrigerator has significantly fewer carbon emissions. Additionally, consuming too much ice cream is unhealthy. The ice cream cycle-vendor is a positive role model by showing children how yummy exercising can be.
10. The Sagacious Ice Cream Truck
This ice cream van is wise in many ways. First, at an initial glance, the truck resembles a school bus. By getting wonderful treats from this vehicle, children will begin to associate mustard yellow transport with positive feelings and joyous memories. Second, the ice cream van providently warms “Please don’t lick the truck,” a piece of advice we would all do well to follow.
11. The Jailhouse Ice Cream Truck
In the summertime, well-behaved prisoners at medium-security prisons are rewarded with ice cream and popsicles. However, just in case they start rioting for more sno-cones, the ice cream truck is solidly guarded. The gridiron fencing on the windows and monster truck tires provide adequate defense against violent felons.
12. The Italian Ice Cream Scooter
Italians are famous for several things, including riding scooters, refined elegance, gelato, and ornateness. Hence, it makes perfect sense for the Italian version of the ice cream van to adorn gold-plated food trays and a fashionable awning. Motorized by a moped, the gelato scooter can deliver its gourmet product along cobblestone paths.
Image: Zan Wheelock
13. The Barbie Car Ice Cream Truck
A man never likes to be stuck holding his wife’s purse; however, he often is. Similarly, this elderly man has been made to drive his wife’s converted barbie car. Although he is a bit squished in the driver’s seat, the man can now give frozen pleasures to all who seek Jayne’s Dairy Ice Cream.
Image: Peter Trimming
14. The Unfortunately Clever Ice Cream Truck
The English are a clever people, and even their ice cream trucks are witty. “Often Licked, Never Beaten” – what a perfect tagline for ice cream. Unfortunately, the phrase is written immediately below “Hot Dogs” instead. No matter, in a land where scones are easier to find than cones, any ice cream will do.
Image: Robert Wade
15. The Undercover U-Haul Ice Cream Truck
The U-Haul Moving Van company loses several trailers each year to thieving customers. This detached trailer was discovered by a U-Haul private investigator. The robber had painted over the orange company logo with gentle pink and baby blue stripes, and by inscribing “Ice Cream” in bubble letters on its front, assumed his crime would go undetected.
As does ice cream, ice cream trucks come in all shapes and sizes. From cycles to scooters, golf carts to barbie cars, the ice cream van is a staple of our summertime society, and reflects the diversity of the people who enjoy such frozen treats. Ice cream unites convicts, thugs, children, and international citizens, because on a hot day, nothing is more welcomed.