Theft, even at its most petty, is difficult to fully understand until it actually happens to you. And often the worst thing about being robbed isn’t the loss of property but the inescapable sense of injustice. In our eyes, however, the best way you can handle being the victim of theft is to try to channel your anger into humor. That, or creatively seek a little revenge. In the case of the people who left these notes, though, there seems to be a peppering of both these approaches. Take this motel owner’s inventive piece of word manipulation, for example.
Bill: “We’ve really got to stop letting Dave do the signs. He can’t spell for toffee!”
Ben: “He’s making a point, Bill. It’s clever.”
Bill: “He’s not. I told him people have been stealing our post.”
This is great. What starts as a pleasant, formal notice rolls into a darkly suggestive piece of passive-aggression. You’d imagine that the writer of this note would go on to say, “We’re not saying we’ll break your legs, but… someones legs will get broken, and they won’t be ours.”
Okay, soda stealers are bad, yes. But “lowest form of life?” That might be a bit much. We guess if you steal enough soda from someone it all adds up. Let’s be honest, though, people who like pineapple on pizza are really the lowest form of life.