The 1980s were a time of over-the-top aerobics, spandex and unfathomable colors. That anyone survived the decade with relative dignity is sometimes a little surprising. It feels like Madonna, Flock of Seagulls and Wham started trying to one-up each others’ weirdness, while the whole world thought they would do the same. This freedom of expression is all well and good when the key word “freedom” is involved. But unfortunately for many children of the 1980s, their parents were often in charge of their appearance. And boy, did they dish out some punishment.
This Pippi Longstocking-inspired monstrosity is hard to even understand. With such short, thin hair on top, we can only presume the pigtails are made from a thick mullet. So, hair up or down, this poor girl is stuck with more 1980s than a child should ever have to handle.
To be fair, this is a near-perfect mullet. Obviously, the mullet holy grail crowns the head of Garth from Wayne’s World, and this is a very close comparison. The glasses, braces and bouffant fringe all add up to a photograph which must have been mentally repressed years later.