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Image: Matthias Scholz

Don’t get this post wrong.

We’re not suggesting that global warming is going to be all puppies and rainbows. In fact we even wrote a post about the 20 deadliest global warming effects. Climate change is a serious issue with potentially disastrous consequences for the entire human race. Before anyone gets all bent out of shape, I’ll mention that EG is still recycling, saving energy, and riding the bus to work. This isn’t an attempt to promote an environmentally unfriendly lifestyle, just a tongue in cheek attempt to escape climate change’s doom and gloom for a few minutes and indulge in a look at the hopeful and misguided side of global warming. Without further ado, here are the top 5 alleged “positive” effects of global warming.


Image: Grant Neufeld

5. Booming businesses… in the Arctic. The world economy needs a shot in the arm. I know the feds just cut interest rates by .75, but that’s nothing compared to what a melted Arctic Circle could do. Without all that pesky ice in the way, the Arctic Ocean would be completely open, creating a brand new trade route from the Atlantic to Asia. It’s only traversable in the summer now, but global warming could open it year round, saving money for everyone. It might kill the polar bears, but business would boom in the north, which it sorely needs. Plus you’d save fuel on shipping, so if you think about it a melted Arctic Circle is almost “green”.

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Image: Florida Keys–Public Libraries

4. Florida trailer parks will finally be safe. For years scientists have been quick to claim that global warming will cause more severe storms and a rise in hurricanes and all that sort of severe weather. But a brand new study in the journal Geophysical Research Letters suggests that it might actually be the opposite. The researchers suggest that warmer temperatures will actually decrease the amount of hurricanes that hit the US each year. So feel free to drive your RV down near Miami and just hang out for a while. You’re safe from everything except alligators and high murder rates!

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