Flatulence Deodorizer Pad
From the wheel to the cell phone, throughout the history of mankind there have been an abundance of inventions that have helped make our lives easier. This article is not about those wondrous inventions. Here, we’re celebrating the inventions which, while they do serve a purpose, are just too weird, too gross and, we dare say, are downright idiotic. These are inventions that have the capacity to make the user look like a fool, a loser and an utter tool. So without further ado, here are the inventions that belong in EG’s Invention Hall of Shame.
Image: Richard Masoner/Cyclelicious
Invented by Dean Kamen, the Segway is a self-balancing vehicle that is battery operated and has a George Jetson-like space age appearance. And while it is environmentally friendly, takes up little space and is user friendly, it is rather ‘tool-like’ in its appearance. Therefore, if you’re a guy who wants to impress the ladies, step away from the Segway!
9. Separate Toe Shoes
While there are some runners who swear by this shoe, claiming that it’s easier on their feet and body, just one look at it and you know it belongs in EG’s Hall of Shame. Yes, they may be comfortable, but with their weird, webbed, ‘alien-like’ appearance, we think these shoes are just plain fugly.
Image: Neil Rickards
8. Umbrella Hats
It’s a hat that thinks it’s an umbrella! It’s an umbrella that thinks it’s a hat! We think that it looks just plain stupid. And if you have any desire to wear this, then you better either be so drunk you can’t see straight or a five-year-old kid who doesn’t know any better.
7. Beer Helmet
Do you have a booze-hound of a friend or family member who you want to ‘help’? Are you such an alcoholic that you simply don’t care what people think of you? Then, my friend, have we got the hat for you!
Image: Cosmic Kitty
6. Beer Holster
Basically the same thing as above but in an easy belt form!
Image: Roddy Keetch
5. Sweat-Heart Sweet-Shirt
Can’t bear to be apart from your loved one? Then the Sweat-Heart Sweet-Shirt (image here) is for you! Fair warning, however: wearing of this shirt will result in dirty looks, eye rolling, and WTFs from strangers, friends and family, and will also result in you being ostracized from your community for all eternity.
3. Mullet Hat
Men, are you a little short of hair follicles and don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on hair replacement services? Then try the Mullet Hat! The mullet is an ’80s hair style that’s simply refusing to die out. Mullet hats (see pic) are caps that have a fake mullet attached for those who are either short of hair or closet mullet wearers.
Handerpants! Great for preventing chafing, absorbing sweaty palms and doing jazz hands! Bad, however, for picking up women, and avoiding getting beaten up when worn in public.
1. Flat-D – Men’s Flatulence Deodorizer Pads
While it’s true that no one will know you’re wearing this while you’re in public, just the fact that you have to wear it automatically makes you a tool. So stay away from any of these ten inventions!
Sincere thanks to Flat-D Innovations, Inc. for allowing us to use their photos.