20 Hard-To-Believe Confessions From An Ex-Royal Protection Officer

It appears you had to have a schoolboy sense of humor to work in royal protection. From the Metropolitan Police’s own confession papers, Page stated that officers would often give each other unflattering nicknames. One was dubbed “Doug the Slug” due to his rather slobby nature. Another was labeled “Gripper” in honor of the same-named bully from children’s TV drama Grange Hill.

Members of the royal family weren’t immune from the odd disrespectful nickname, either. Page revealed that officers back in the 1990s used to give Prince Andrew a particularly uncomplimentary moniker. But the Queen and her husband Prince Philip were known as the more innocuous “Purple One” and “Phil the Greek,” respectively.

As the saying goes, it’s not what you know, but who you know. According to Page, officers would often help their pals in the police force to join them for what’s considered a much easier job. How, you may ask? Well, they simply provide them with the questions that they’re likely to be asked during the interview stage.

Apparently the protection officer entry test is so simple that anyone with a few brain cells to rub together should be able to pass it. “Is it ever okay to read a book while guarding the gate to the Queen’s private quarters?” is apparently one of the puzzlers. Candidates are also asked to identify certain royal family members during the process.

There was a notable drinking culture among royal cops, according to Page. Even when employees turned up to Bucks Palace for their shift under the influence, they were apparently still allowed to work. It was only when they were clearly inebriated that they were asked to sleep the alcohol off inside one of Buckingham Palace’s many rooms. Or in some cases, they got the sobering cure of an energy drink and a packet of mints.One is not impressed!

The temptation to sit on the Queen’s throne proved to be too overwhelming for Page and some of his fellow cops. He was part of a group that once snuck into the monarch’s throne room to pose for pictures in a gangster-style. When questioned in court why he put his job on the line for a quick photo opportunity, Page responded, “Perhaps to say you’ve done that, maybe to your grandchildren.”

The spread-betting club that Page set up while serving as a royal protection officer made mountains of money for its investors. And he ensured that the cash was delivered in style, by cop-vehicle. That’s right: Page would transport the hundreds of pounds to various destinations, whilst using a police blacked-out Land Rover. Hard to believe this level of naughtiness!

To ensure investors in his secret Commerce Club remained satisfied, Page offered them the use of various luxury cars for free. But how did he get his hands on these vehicles? Well, the cop agreed with a dealership to offset any overdue payments for his own ride by serving as their repossession man. Page and several colleagues would then abuse their police connections to find and seize any vehicles that hadn’t been returned by customers in time.

Page tried to keep his investors sweet by providing several vacations entirely for free. The officer called on a pal who worked at a travel agency to help him out with the tickets. He’d then leave them in various pigeonholes placed within the palace grounds. Page, of course, had to use the money he acquired from new investors to pay for such “freebies.”

It’s fair to say that some officers abused the power they had when it came to weaponry. Page freely admitted that he had his gun confiscated after he threatened to shoot a family member with it. Others were a little trigger-happy by accident, such as the officer who twice discharged his gun unintentionally while on the monarch’s train.

Page admitted that he and his colleagues once devised a system to avoid getting caught taking a nap. He said, “It was natural for us to go to sleep on night duty and if a senior officer was coming into the garden I would contact the control room to ring other posts. Everyone was awake until the governor did his checks and had a little chat and went away, then we’d be back to sleep.”

Being a friend or family member of a protection officer can certainly have its benefits. And particularly if you’re having trouble finding a parking space in the center of London. One officer revealed at Page’s trial that colleagues routinely let their nearest and dearest park at nearby St. James Palace on the Mall. This was for whenever they were heading into the capital for some lunch, shopping or even a theater show.

As well as drinking, conducting questionable businesses and sneaking into the Queen’s throne room, some officers also liked to pass the time at royal residences gambling. And we’re not just talking the odd small wager here, either. Page alleged that high-risk betting was a regular occurrence at his former place of work, and that bosses largely let them get away with it.

Invitations to one of the Queen’s famous garden parties are supposed to be exclusive and strongly-vetted. But Page revealed that protection officers would let certain individuals in via the backdoor. And they tended to be people who had invested in the Ponzi scheme that he’d illegally set up at Buckingham Palace, too.

While some of Page’s colleagues got a little too trigger happy, others didn’t want to pull the trigger at all. According to the former protection officer, some were so fearful about the prospect of shooting an individual that they didn’t even load their guns. Who knows what would have happened had they actually been required to take aim?

Members of the royal family would sometimes be more than happy for the men tasked with protecting them to break the rules. Page claimed that he was often responsible for sneaking certain lady friends into the Queen’s residence whenever she was away. They’d even have to later drive these unofficial guests home whenever they were smuggled out, too.

Those tasked with protecting the royal family can earn up to £60,000 (approximately $90,000) per annum for what appears to be a very cushy job, said Page. And that’s not even including the overtime money that can be earned “for doing very little.” Nice work if you can get it! 

Playing a game of poker on your break is one thing. But according to Page, he and his colleagues would often try to master the royal flush, full house and four of a kind while on duty, too. Apparently, card games were a particularly popular way of passing the time during shifts.

Visitors to royal households sometimes bore the brunt of protection officers’ incompetence. On one occasion, a worse-for-wear employee was supposed to help raise the barrier so that a senior official could drive through the palace gates. Instead, they pressed the button which sprang the underground ramp into action, sending the vehicle and its poor driver flying upward. Oops!

You might think that getting paid thousands of dollars a month was rewarding enough. But some royal cops liked to top up their salary with the odd sideline, too. Page revealed that one particular colleague founded his own lucrative businesses selling dodgy goods. Not only did he do so on company time, he also did it from Buckingham Palace’s locker rooms!