Hugh Jackman Speaks Candidly About The Strict Rules That Keep His Marriage Alive

Jackman and Furness have actually been husband and wife since 1996. And 25 years later the former celebrated his silver wedding anniversary with a gushing Instagram post about the love of his life. Alongside a series of photos taken on the day the couple tied the knot, the Aussie wrote, “Being married to you... is as natural as breathing. From nearly the moment we met... I knew our destiny was to be together.”

Putting every other husband to shame, Jackman continued, “In our 25 years – our love has only grown deeper. The fun, excitement and adventure more exhilarating; the learning even greater. I’m forever grateful to share our love, our life – and, our family together. We’ve only just begun. [Furness], I love you with all my heart!”

It’s fair to say that Jackman has no qualms about being mushy in public. Just five months earlier the Logan star used Instagram to wish Furness a happy birthday. He wrote, “Your courage, wit, open heartedness, loyalty, creativity, joie de vivre, cheekiness and spontaneity inspire me every day. I love you so much more than any caption can convey.”

Jackman dedicated a rendition of “All the Way” to Furness during one particular date on his 2019 tour. The Frank Sinatra number was the song that he and Furness had danced to at their wedding 23 years previously. Jackman also melted the audience’s hearts even more when various loved-up snaps of the pair flashed up on screens at the same time.

Jackman also isn’t afraid to get a little goofy when it comes to expressing his love for Furness. To celebrate their 23rd wedding anniversary in 2019, The Greatest Showman star uploaded a smiley pic of the pair on Instagram. But both Furness and Jackman’s teeth were covered in chocolate!

Though the lovey doveyness isn’t all one way. In September 2020 Furness guested on TV show Anh’s Brush with Fame where she also waxed lyrical about her other half. The star said, “When you find a partner in crime that you share and you grow together – and life is tough, as we know it, it’s not all good – and when you have someone there that is so supportive… you can really stand buck naked. You have to.”

Earlier that same year Furness had also revealed one of her favorite things about Jackman on the red carpet of New York City’s AAA Arts Awards. She told Us Weekly magazine, “He makes me laugh. He’s hilarious. Not as funny as me, but he’s good. I give him all his best material!”

You might not know that Furness was actually the bigger name when the loved-up couple got together. They first met while filming Correlli – an Australian TV drama – in 1995 when Jackman was a relative unknown. On the other hand, Furness was an established star in her homeland and took the leading role of the titular psychologist. So, perhaps she was the one who laid the ground rules?

In a chat with People, Jackman remembered the first time he laid eyes on his future wife. He recalled, “She took off her seatbelt and she turned around and put out her hand and took off her sunglasses and said, ‘Hi, I’m Deborra-Lee Furness, nice to meet you.’ I remember thinking, ‘I like this girl.’”

During a 2018 appearance on TV show Today, Jackman revealed that he instantly knew Furness was the one. He said, “In the end, what do you want from your life partner? You want to be fully seen and you want to be able to fully see them for exactly who [they] really are. And [Furness] and I had that from the beginning.”

Jackman continued, “When you’re dating, you literally put on the best version of yourself… How do you transition from that person to actually truly being yourself? The tracksuit-pant version of yourself… Until you feel that comfortable with your partner, you don’t really know if you’re right together. So literally from day one, [Furness] and I had that feeling.”

Furness backed up these claims on Ahn’s Brush with Fame in 2020. Referring to the moment she fell for Jackman at a dinner party, the actress recalled, “I sat in the kitchen and I said, ‘You haven’t been coming to my trailer,’ because we used to hang out. And he goes, ‘Yeah, yeah, I know, I haven’t.’ He [then] said, ‘I got a crush on you.’ And when he said that, I went, ‘I got a crush on you, too.’”

Jackman and Furness’ first major test as a couple came less than a month after they got together. The former was moving to the Big Apple and so was forced to ask her new boyfriend if he thought their relationship was going anywhere. Luckily, Jackman believed it was and agreed to head to New York City with the then-more famous name.

According to Jackman’s interview with the Aussies in Hollywood podcast in 2018, he and Furness also got through another minor blip early on. The star admitted that his wife had once tried to end their relationship but that he’d managed to persuade her to give things another go. And the actor was uncharacteristically assertive in the process.

Jackman explained, “I’m a very indecisive person, you know this about me, [Furness] really knows this about me. I can count on one hand the amount of times in my life anything has felt that clear to me. But with her, I just knew 100 percent... I even knew when she was trying to work out reasons to break up with me... That is grace, as far as I’m concerned.”

Furness and Jackman certainly didn’t hang about when it came to making things more official. They walked down the aisle together within just a year of meeting on the set of Correlli. The lovestruck couple said “I do” in front of their nearest and dearest at a ceremony staged in the Melbourne suburb of Toorak.

In 2018 Jackman told Today that he believes the fact that his marriage predates the Hollywood fame has been a blessing. He said, “I really think it helps that we were together before any of that. So, we’ve been on this unbelievable journey, places we never thought we’d go to and we’ve done it together.”

Furness and Jackman initially planned to have children of their own. After discovering that they weren’t able to naturally conceive, the pair tried in vitro fertilization several times. Sadly, this didn’t work either. But undeterred, the pair instead opted to adopt. In a 2011 interview with newspaper Herald Sun, Jackman said this was a life-changing decision for the better.

A highly proud Jackman said, “From the moment we started the adoption process, all the anxiety went away. I don’t think of them as adopted – they’re our children. We feel things happened the way they are meant to. Obviously, biologically wasn’t the way we were meant to have children.”

In 2019 Furness acknowledged to Us Weekly how time had flown since she and Jackman became adoptive parents. The actress said, “I’ve got a son about to go to college, which blows my mind because I still think of him as my baby boy, and my 13-year-old daughter is about to go to high school. They’re extraordinary beings and they’ve probably taught me more than any other lesson in life.”

Furness revealed that that she first noticed Oscar and Ava’s independent streak as they approached their teens. The star added, “It’s tough when they’ve been your little baby girl and all of a sudden they’re an independent sassy teenager. So, buckle up, buckle in and listen.” Of course, Furness was still able to lay down ground rules when it came to her husband.

Unfortunately for the Hollywood couple, their relationship has also been dogged by rumors about their sexuality. But Furness appeared to laugh them off while appearing on Anh’s Brush with Fame in 2020. She said, “He’s been gay so many years. I was gay, too. You know when I did Shame? I was gay. They were shocked when I got married. It’s just wrong.”

As Jackman’s profile went stratospheric, Furness also had to deal with comments that she was lucky to be wed to such an A-list hunk. She added, “People don’t realize, it’s actually rude to say that. ‘Lucky’ because he’s a stud-muffin, you know, but that’s showbiz and Hollywood and the brand of Hugh Jackman.”

But Furness admitted that she always tries to keep her husband’s feet on the ground. Take the time when Jackman was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2008, for example. Furness’ response? “Hey sexy, your turn with the garbage.” So, apart from a healthy sense of humor, what exactly is the secret to Jackman and Furness’ long-lasting marriage?

While promoting his first ever solo musical tour across the world, Jackman told the Daily Mirror that there are several rules the pair have adhered to since getting wed. And the most important one was proposed by Furness. Yes, Jackman revealed that his wife has always insisted that the pair spend no longer than two weeks apart. He added, “No roles that take you away that long. That was that rule, which we’ve kept for 25 years.”

But this fortnightly rule isn’t the only key to Jackman and Furness staying the distance much longer than the usual Hollywood couple. The Real Steel actor also explained that he and his wife insist on being completely honest with each other at all times. And there are absolutely no exceptions, either.

Jackman went on to add, “Even if it’s embarrassing, even if you’re shameful, even if you’ve screwed up, be honest. If you can trust each other, that’s better. She knows more about me than anybody else.” That’s not all, either. In fact, Jackman and Furness could easily write a book on how to sustain a marriage – considering the number of rules they have in place.

In a 2019 chat with People, Jackman also discussed the importance of another quality. He said, “People talk about intimacy and assume that means in the bedroom. Of course it is that, but really, intimacy is being able to share everything together – good, bad, fears, successes. [Furness] and I had that from the beginning. We’ve always been completely ourselves with each other.”

A year later Jackman opened up about his relationship once again in a chat with People. The Swordfish star reiterated that he and Furness always “make time for each other.” But Jackman also acknowledged that they are both aware that marriage is in a constant state of flux.

Jackman expanded, “We’re always learning and humans change so you have to, even though we’ve been together 25 years, you gotta reset all the time.” The Les Misérables star then returned to gushing mode, adding, “I’m always reeling in how funny she is and how amazing she is and how smart she is. The longer it goes on the better it gets.”

Along with ensuring they always see each other at least once every two weeks, Jackman and Furness have another marriage rule that can’t be broken. And it’s one that surely every couple can relate to. Apparently, if the pair are in the middle of a row, then they must always settle it before going to bed.

Then there’s the pact that Jackman and Furness made during their early married life. The former revealed all in a 2019 piece for a Who magazine feature titled “The Father Hood: Inspiration for the New Dad Generation.” Jackman began, “Before we had kids, [Furness] and I made a pretty simple but powerful choice to look each other in the eye at every crossroads in life.”

A rather philosophical Jackman then went on to add, “Those crossroads are sometimes big, sometimes they’re small. Sometimes you don’t even realize they’re crossroads until you look back. He then explained that there was always one important question he and Furness would ask themselves: “Is this good or bad for our marriage?”

Of course, Jackman and Furness had to adapt their pact once they welcomed son Oscar and daughter Ava into their world. He added, “... Now that we’ve got kids, [we ask], ‘Is this good or bad for our family?’ And as often as possible, we do the thing that is good for our family.”

In 2019 Jackman told People that he appreciates time with his family more than anything else in the world. So, what is the Aussie’s favorite thing to do with Furness and their two kids? He explained, “Going to our country house, lighting a fire at night and roasting marshmallows.”

According to reports, Jackman might have to find a different country house to roast marshmallows and light fires at. An alleged source told MailOnline in 2021 that the star had become so homesick that he was thinking of moving back to his Aussie homeland with Furness. The pair already own a property at Bondi Beach in Sydney worth $6 million.

The insider reportedly explained, “[Jackman] has privately considered a move back for years. But he never followed through with it because he has such a good life in the States.” Apparently, the Kate and Leopold actor has been pining for the more relaxed, beachside way of living in his native Australia.

How does Furness feel about going back to where everything started, though? Well, another source told New Idea magazine that she couldn’t be happier about the prospect. They said, “[Furness] would be thrilled if Hugh agreed to move home permanently to Sydney as an anniversary gift.” But they explained that Jackman first wants to help revive the Broadway scene.

Yes, along with potentially looking to move to the other side of the world, Jackman will also spend much of 2021 gearing up for his return to the stage. Due to world events, the Aussie last performed in front of a crowd during his The Man. The Music. The Show. tour in 2019. But after a two-year break, Jackman will finally get to entertain in a live setting when he stars in the Broadway production of The Music Man.