20 Times Sign Writers Should Really Have Thought Through Their Wording

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Sign writers often have a tricky job on their hands. Getting your message across in such a small space and with so few words can be daunting – and when you mess up, everyone’s going to know about it. These 20 signs just go to show that a little careful proofreading can go a long way.

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Take this diner sign, for instance, which seems to be promising a little more bang for your buck than most restaurants do. We’re just not sure we want what they’re offering…

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Speaking of restaurants, we’re absolutely sure we don’t want to eat here. Getting a gynecological exam while you eat is taking the modern ethos of convenience a little too far.

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If you’re stuck for gift ideas for your loved ones, here’s a handy suggestion. Don’t worry, though – there’s no need to wait for Valentine’s Day. From birthdays to anniversaries, there’s never a bad time to give someone crabs. Probably.

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Here’s an idea, Otterbein United Methodist Church – invest in a second sign for parking announcements. Or just re-word the parking part. Really, anything other than this.

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Well, that’s good to know. We guess. Although, maybe next time, keep it to yourself, eh, John? We’re not sure this is really the kind of thing your congregation are interested in.

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Ah, the old rule 101 of Christianity. Religious folk have long debated why society is becoming more secular – and perhaps the North Waterboro Community Baptist Church has the answer.

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And they say religion doesn’t preach tolerance. That’s a lesson that we can all take to heart, no matter our orientation or preference: a lesson of togetherness. Just probably not in the way they intended.

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We’re not sure what the relevance of the missing shoulders is. Maybe that’s what’s slowing the kids down? Or maybe they’re just less able to defend themselves against oncoming traffic.

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Yup, that’s pretty powerful, alright. Probably not for the reasons the members of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church are thinking of, though. Next time, how about something a little less open to interpretation?

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What a wonderful tribute to the waiters and waitresses of the world. Breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day – and what better way to immortalize that fact than by honoring the men and women who serve it?

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It’s the oldest nickname in the book, but would it really have been that difficult to just spell out “Richard,” instead? How can Lisa not see what everyone else sees?

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Look, what you do at church is your own business. But did you really have to do it on July 4? And how would that party even work, anyway?

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And lo, Jesus’ disciples did bring forth the finest “ass” in the land, and Jesus was grateful. These are definitely the kind of messages we should be teaching our kids.

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Thanks for the advice, but isn’t that generally the most standard, boring position in the first place? Then again, if you’re after that kind of guidance then you probably shouldn’t be taking it from church billboards.

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How hard can it be just to proofread your sign? This is the kind of blatant omission that could devastate a business. Unless they actually sell this on the menu – in which case, carry on, we suppose.

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If ever there were a hallmark of true forgiveness, this is definitely it in all senses of the phrase. We’re not convinced the church was fully aware of the glaring double entendre present, however.

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That’s a very odd – and oddly specific – way to say that God is inside all of us. Just where are these private doors located, exactly? And what differentiates them from a public door?

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Yeah, they definitely didn’t think that one through. Whoever was behind this sign clearly has a far more innocent mind than the rest of us.

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Has there even been a more pressing need for spaces or basically punctuation of any kind? Even a change of font would have sufficed. Anything to separate those first two lines…

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If you were holding out hope that you might be greeted at the pearly gates by a prime cut of beef then you may have to think again. Apparently, God isn’t the master chef we all thought he was.

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