40 Yard Signs Written By True Comic Geniuses

People put signs up on their properties for all kinds of reasons. For instance, perhaps they’re advertising a yard sale, or want to leave a polite notice for their neighbors. Sometimes though, these placards can serve the secondary purpose of making others laugh, as these hilarious examples prove.

40. Smoking cat

You can’t blame this resident for asking folk not to drop their cigarette butts near their house. After all, they are unsightly and slightly gross. This householder, however, clearly understood that displaying a sense of humor about the issue was more likely to be effective than taking a more straightforward approach. And dreaming up a (presumably fictionalized) feline nicotine habit certainly sparked online interest, and doubtless caught the attention of its target audience too.

39. Neighborly complaint

It’s not clear if this army of plastic flamingos was the cause of this neighborly dispute, or a reaction to it. Whatever the case, the accompanying sign revealed some major beef brewing as a result of an alleged phone call to the police. Let’s hope the person in question took heed, ’cause these birds don’t look like they’re messing around.

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38. Armed turtle on the loose

Usually, a missing pet doesn’t provoke fears over public safety in the local community, but it seems as though this turtle may be of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety. This humorous sign jokes that the snapper might be on the loose with a pair of nunchucks. With that in mind, it warns that the animal is “slow but very dangerous.”

37. Real estate reassurance

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In the fickle world of real estate, it doesn’t take much for a deal to fall through.So it seems that this agent has taken upon himself to eliminate one worry from potential buyers’ minds by officially declaring this house as ghoul-free right up front on the sign. At least the new owner will be able to sleep soundly.

36. Vote for Thor

Now, we’re not entirely clear why this dog is named after the Norse god of thunder. Or why he has a surname. Or, indeed, in precisely which election he’s hoping to triumph. But there’s no denying that he has some campaign causes we can really get behind! It’s reassuring to know this trusty canine has our back should our household appliances turn on us. And that parts of unwanted visitors to the door can be wolfed down on demand.

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35. Park at your own peril

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As far as parking notices go, this one’s surely up there with the best. It warns rampant parkers of a number of unpleasant circumstances that could arise from putting their car in the wrong place. And the sign’s author clearly has a talent for tapping into the deepest fears in our collective psyche: we can withstand anything except insane rodents and social exclusion.

34. Hangman sign

It seems that the person who came up with this sign wanted to inject a little bit of fun into advertising their yard sale. With that in mind, their notice takes the form of an old-school hangman game. Let’s just hope whoever guesses next gets the right letter, as it seems that there’s only one life left.

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33. Back off, Larry

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According to Reddit user jumpedthesnark, this sign was his father’s response to an annoying “neighbor who checks with the city whenever anyone does any work on their property.” Let’s hope the said complainant is mollified by the helpful notice and its concomitant little smiley face. Although if Larry’s surname happens to be David, we’re not convinced this ploy will work.

32. “You suck”

As this droll sign attests, stealing plants is not okay, correctly characterizing such behavior as a “low and selfish act.” We love the way it goes on to equate the theft with violence towards baby felines; it’s clearly the logical next step. And we’re sure the perpetrator appreciates the holistic appraisal of his or her life choices.

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31. Season’s greetings

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When the festive season rolls around, we’re inundated with the same old season’s greetings we’ve become used to – year in, year out. So when someone tries to spread holiday cheer in a novel way like this, it can really make us smile. With that in mind, adding Yule tidings to a “For lease” sign is an easy and genius way to mark Christmas, although the real estate company might not agree.

30. Absolutely no soliciting

We all know how annoying it can be to have someone turn up on our doorsteps trying to sell us stuff or convert us politically or religiously. With that in mind, then, most of us could probably use a sign like this, which covers all the main bases when asking people not to disturb them. Of course, there’s always one exception to the rule. So in this case people are free to call in as long as they’re “giving away free beer.”

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29. “Don’t be a sucka!”

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Ever since Mr. T first uttered the immortal words “I pity the fool” in the 1982 film Rocky III the line has become his signature catchphrase. It’s been put to good use on this sign which advertises what promises to be a pretty awesome yard sale. To complete the amazing notice, there’s even a cutout of the iconic member of The A Team’s head, along with a speech bubble that warns against displaying inferior levels of intellect in his own inimitable style.

28. Land of the living sale

Some people might feel uncomfortable about the idea of rifling through some dead person’s old stuff in the hunt for a bargain. So it seems that this sign goes some way to placate any of those concerns. Good to know that death’s icy fingers haven’t played across any of the items for sale here.

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27. “Make yard sales great again”

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It seems that, when it comes to yard sales signs, most of the greatest puns and tributes have already been done. So when Donald Trump turned up on the 2016 presidential campaign trail with his “Make America Great Again” slogan, tag sale enthusiasts everywhere must have rubbed their hands together. At least Trump has made yard sale signs great again. Or at least some of them more imaginative, anyway.

26. “Hey Girl”

This Ryan Gosling meme first emerged way back in 2009. But since then it has taken the internet by storm and sparked a series of spin-offs including Feminist Ryan Gosling, Typographer Ryan Gosling, and Shakespearean Ryan Gosling. In this incarnation, the trend has been used to promote a yard sale to great effect.

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25. Mike Tyson tribute

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Mike Tyson’s distinctive voice is as much a part of the boxer’s identity as his heavyweight titles. And his famous lisp is honored here in this yard-sale poster featuring the athlete’s image. In keeping with the boxing theme, let’s hope that there are some knockout prices to match.

24. Yoda yard sale

Fans of Star Wars out there will already be well aware of Yoda’s wisdom and intellect. So why wouldn’t people take the Jedi master’s advice and visit the yard sale being advertised in this amazing poster? A faithful representation of the fictional sage’s speech patterns, it is.

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23. Thanos and Gamora

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Marvel enthusiasts will no doubt be familiar with the scene depicted on this genius poster. The images depict the emotional final scene from Avengers: Infinity War between Thanos and Gamora. But rather than discussing the fate of the universe, their dialog is applied to a yard sale – with a clever twist.

22. Michael Scott’s yard sale

Fans of The Office may recall Michael Scott’s ill-fated fun run to raise awareness of rabies. The hilarious event is alluded to in this poster, which advertises the “Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrities Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Yard Sale For The Cure.” Now try saying that without taking a breath.

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21. Mama always said…

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As the famous Forrest Gump quote says, “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” And it seems that the same wisdom from the movie can be applied to yard sales, as this clever poster shows. The line is so iconic, it’s hard not to read it in Gump’s recognizable southern drawl.

20. The ultimate revenge

This sign hints to a lot of bad blood going on behind the scenes. Is selling off possessions a rational or proportionate response to alleged marital infidelity? There were some mixed feelings on reddit, where it was slammed as “trashy.” However, one user countered, “Seems like a perfectly good reason to have a yard sale.”

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19. The Most Interesting Man in the World

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Many will likely recognize this goatee-sporting guy as The Most Interesting Man in the World from the old Dos Equis beer commercials. The fame that the advert brought also turned the character into an internet sensation, appearing in countless memes. Here his catchphrase provides the framework for this attention-grabbing poster.

18. Stupid cats

There are lots of good reasons to drive slowly through residential areas, but this yard sign gives one of the most hilarious. And consideration of feline foolishness might just tug at the heart-strings of otherwise-unfeeling motorists with heavy right feet. When user topredditbot uploaded a photo of the notice on reddit, they enthused, “Finally! An honest yard sign.”

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17. Gollum’s precious

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If you’ve watched the Lord of the Rings movies, you will remember just how much Gollum loved and needed his “precious.” And it’s this clear affection for his most prized possession that forms the basis of this amusing yard sale sign. Let’s hope that anything you happen to purchase doesn’t actually have to be cast into the fires of Mount Doom to save mankind, the elves and the rest…

16. “Dead people’s stuff”

Oftentimes, people put on yard sales when they need to get rid of a bunch of stuff. This could be the result of a regular clear out, or it may be because someone has passed away. And rather than beating around the bush, this sign gets right to the point. Did its bluntness pay off? We don’t gamble, but if we did we’d say its success was a dead cert.

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15. Pirate cat

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What better way to get people to come and buy your stuff than with a pirate cat complete with an eye patch? This poster advertises a traditional yard sale with all kinds of goods like clothes, toys, games and books, while using the proper seafaring vernacular. And if all that doesn’t take your fancy, then maybe the lemonade stand will.

14. Avoid trampling on any dreams

Why resort to a simple “Keep off the grass” sign when you could come up with something far more poetic, such as this? The notion of innocent infantile vegetation’s internal life is certainly an empathetically appealing one. And to be fair, it’s as good an excuse as any. After all, who would really want to stomp all over some greenery’s dreams?

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13. Garage sale of a lifetime

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It seems that the creator of this poster is pretty confident that the event they’re organizing will be worth a visit. Of course, it’s always just possible that the sign isn’t guilty of hyperbole And as for the notice’s suggestion that there’s an item for sale that could help you in the bedroom? Well, we really hope that was just a joke.

12. Baby Got Back

Fans of 1990s hip-hop will no doubt recognize the nod to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s song “Baby Got Back” on this sign. The bottom-themed anthem memorable contains the line, “Oh, my, God Becky, look at her butt! It is so big.” That sentiment has been repurposed on this poster to expertly draw attention to a yard sale.

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11. “Comb-over”

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This brilliant sign pokes fun at Donald Trump’s unique hairstyle. Featuring a caricature of the U.S. President’s face, it urges folk to visit the sale in a verbally imaginative way. The notice brought a smile to at least one person, who wrote on reddit, “[My] wife and I were visiting family and drove [past] this. Had a good laugh at it!”

10. Ode to Cardi B

We’re going out on a limb here, but it looks like the person responsible for this sign might just be a fan of Cardi B. The words appear to be a reference to the rapper’s 2018 song “I Like It.” In the lyrics, she sings about designer shoes and luxury cars, which – it has to be said – are rarely up for grabs at garage sales.

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9. Honesty is the best policy

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Given that yard sales often consist of things that other people no longer want, you sometimes have to be a bit of a magpie to find the treasure hidden within the trash. This sign seems to acknowledge this fact in a brutally honest way and we salute its wonderfully candid approach.

8. GoT it?

Game of Thrones enthusiasts will remember Jon Snow memorably refusing the Iron Throne. And the character’s famous rejection is put to good use here advertising a yard sale. It was posted to Reddit by the user crapatthethriftstore, who said, that it “might grab a few GoT folks but probably will just confuse the old French people” in his neighborhood.

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7. A message to the pumpkin thief

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It’s an unwritten rule that you don’t mess with parents when it comes to their children. So it’s pretty unsurprising that this mom or dad was left furious after someone stole their son’s pumpkin. The sign lures the reader in with its polite and indeed surprising response to the loss, but there’s a wonderful sting in the tail.

6. Silly walks sign

This notice will confound anyone who isn’t a fan of a certain cult British TV comedy show from the 1960s and ’70s. One of Monty Python’s Flying Circus’ more memorable sketches presented us with a government department concerned solely with the funding and development of silly walks. This notice picks up the concept and runs with it, while adding the threat of rather surreal enforcement action. The joke has made at least one neighbor happy, with user kforsythe91 telling reddit, “My son loves it.”

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5. Better than Goodwill

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Thrifting enthusiasts have long sung the praises of Goodwill for epic hauls. However, according to this sign, the popular nonprofit stores have nothing on one yard sale. The mischievous handmade poster also features a cartoon drawing of the infamous poop emoji for good measure.

4. Biological warfare

In 2013 reddit user SrgntPeppers posted this amazing notice on reddit explaining, “Our elderly neighbors have this sign posted on the bike path in their backyard.” We love the concept of these tech-savvy senior citizens enlisting the (presumably willing) participation of their grandchild in their imaginative tit-for-tat reprisal plan.

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3. Keeping things vague

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Sometimes, the most effective advertising doesn’t say much at all. But this sign might be taking the concept of “vague” to a whole other level. And frustratingly, the poster also fails to provide any contact details whatsoever, so it’s unclear how to reach out.

2. “It’s huuuuuuuge!”

This yard sale sign takes inspiration from one of Trump’s best-known catchphrases. But while the phrase is undoubtedly synonymous with the U.S. President, there’s some debate online how it should be spelled, given that the man himself usually pronounces it as “y-uge.”

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1. Misplaced love note

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Who knew that leaving a nice note for your wife could cause so much drama? After this unfortunate person accidentally left their sweet nothings on someone else’s car, they were forced to apologize to the whole neighborhood in the form of a sign. And we love how its author has signed off with an apology, just in case hopes were raised by the misplaced missive.

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