These 20 Instagram Casanovas Take Cringe to the Next Level

To the possible despair of its creators, Instagram has now become the biggest watering hole for thirsty gentlemen. Desperate dudes are flocking there in their droves, trying their latest pick-up lines on any women who dare to simply post selfies to their Insta-feeds. And the results are invariably awful at best. The guy on the left here, for example, obviously wants to be walked all over, while it’s hard not to want Santi to call the dude on the right’s bluff.

On a cringe scale from one to ten, guy, you’re definitely a ten.

“thegoodelife” has even made Tetris sound dirty – and there’s nothing “goode” about that.

ADVERTISEMENT

Assuming the thirsty man here is not hoping to just improve his fitness, it’s perhaps time for Liza to call in neighborhood watch.

ADVERTISEMENT

What makes this gross line worse – if that’s even possible – is the guy’s avatar. Is that your wife in the picture with you, dude?

One universal truth all women should be aware of: always avoid the guy who invites you to their cupboard to be naughty – or, for that matter, “naighty.”

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

The specificness of this request is just plain creepy – so much so that the mind boggles to think of what might happen if acemobaidin is eventually touched there.

The “GAWSH” is just the cherry on top of this big fat cake of cringe.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Never has the word “gentle” sounded so sinister.

How could she refuse such a polite and respectful suitor?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Not a polar bear, though. That would be taking things too far.

The end of this line could certainly have been a lot worse… Then again, maybe not.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Perhaps this guy is being sincere. Perhaps he’s different from all the desperate devotees on Instagram. Still thirsty as heck, though.

There is nothing “legit” about this stomach-turning request.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Something suggests that “_jesusshuttlesworth” has done this before. But we really, really don’t want to know that for sure.

Just… no.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

“Sorry, I’m more of an Apple girl.”

It’s easier for everyone’s sanity to believe that he’s never really done this.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

If all else fails, mentioning a woman’s incurable STI will make her putty in your hands.

Because a weirdly pre-arranged honeymoon/kidnapping to Europe with a total stranger is every girl’s dream.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT