The yearbook quote is a rite of passage. Indeed, you will always be able to look back at your utterings and see your youth distilled into the most poignant words of wisdom you could muster at that tender age. And a good quote will forever immortalize you among your peers and their parents as the promising, stand-up citizen you will undoubtedly become. On the other hand, you can just use it to get a few giggles. Whether class clown or retiring wallflower, the yearbook quote can become a wonderful moment of self-deprecation – and some students absolutely nail it. So here are some of our favorites, starting with a guy who will never fail at life as long as he keeps busting out that point and wink…
Joseph Squiggle: prolific womanizer, bare-faced liar and owner of one of the best gun-finger points the world has ever seen. However, only two of those three statements are true. We’ll let you figure out which ones, though.
Kevin Chang is currently residing in an underground lair where he is working on a device that will let him control minds through Snapchat filters. He has a Gofundme page but so far he’s only received $25 – and that was from his mom.
That’s certainly a big claim, Matt. It’s going to cost a lot of money to change all of the advent calendars. Still, you have a kind face so we are opting to believe you.
We can really side with this guy. This paragraph is constrained to 40 words and it can be quite difficult to get it just right. Sometimes, to hit exactly 40 words we will add a filler at the end. Yearbook.
If only racial profiling was as prominent in the national lottery as it is in airports. Antony here would undoubtedly be laughing all the way to the bank. Mind you, laughing maniacally in a bank is in fact a good way to earn yourself a random security check.
Little-known fact: when making The Incredibles, Pixar simply filmed Jason Distant’s dreams for several years and compiled them as a documentary. Nobody knew what he was talking about when this photo was taken three years before the film’s general release.
They may not all be related, but it seems obvious they all shop at the same dress store. We like to think they didn’t choreograph this, and in fact each of them simply put down their favorite quotes. Emily Nguyen, for example, is just a huge fan of “and.”
Is there anything that makes you feel more agonizingly pathetic than being reined in by your entertainment? Imagine if the last page of 50 Shades of Grey was just a disclaimer saying, “Your love life won’t be anything like this, so don’t get any big ideas.”
If only we could open up Kanye West’s brain and share out little chunks of his wisdom among the uneducated. Indeed, the benefits would be twofold. We would become more enlightened and there would be no more Kanye West.
Alexis Papalazarus’ mantra could have two meanings. On one hand, she is perhaps suggesting that the way to acquire currency is by disregarding females, or on the other hand, that acquiring currency is a quicker route to attracting females. Either way, she seems to be a staunch feminist.
Look at that fierce, piercing gaze. You’re damn right you are a lion/dragon, kid. Let the world hear you roar, you magnificent chimera. I’m a rhino/shark and it feels sooooo goooooood. In fact, we should fight! It would be awesome.
That’s where you’re wrong, Sarah. We were also laughing because you farted. You did it really loud, in a very quiet room and it made a baby cry. Don’t you remember? We’ll never forget it.
This started out as quite a profound, life-affirming commentary on the materialistic values of modern society. Then she cranked it up a level with a great punchline to her misdirection. Unless she actually practices this: we can’t tell. Comedy is confusing sometimes.
This stereotyping of blondes needs to stop. In fact, we know a pub-quiz team – made up entirely of blondes – who always win a prize. Well, we tell them it’s a pub quiz because it gets on their pet peeves when we call it “ordering from the menu.”
Hmm. We’re sensing that there is supposed to be an element of innuendo in this quote. Indeed, we don’t think this guy is talking about “life” at all. In fact, we’re fairly sure he’s talking about having a beard.
No-one ever did send help and – as far as we know – Orry is still trapped to this day. Think about that next time you look at your beloved yearbook. Think about how it was probably made with the sweat and blood of an exploited child-laborer. You’re a monster!
Poor Pareekshit must have to constantly clarify this so that nobody associates him with bad smells when they meet him. Sometimes the silent ones are the worst, though.
This may seem a little harsh and over the top, but it’s not. Indeed, we wholeheartedly agree. Pineapple and pizza shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same sentence. Wait… we think we just broke our own rule. You get the point.
That’s pretty weird, Aaron. Do you also cry when you are hungry and drink warm milk from a sippy cup? Here’s one you can try next time: bring a buddy along so you can pretend you are twins in utero.
Having Voldemort living on the back of your head must be quite a burden to carry. Still, it’s a good excuse if you ever get into trouble. Indeed, who can blame you for a few poor life choices if half of your head is pure evil?