Long gone are the days when you could stick a carrot in a vaguely spherical mound of snow and call it a snowman. In 2017, it’s time to get artistic. Yes, these 20 amazingly creative snowmen are a surefire way to stave off those winter blues – whether they’re hilarious, terrifying… or both.
Even if you usually pick up hitchhikers, you’ll probably want to steer clear of this guy. Unless you’re prepared to roll down the windows and turn the air conditioning up, chances are he’s going to turn your car into a swimming pool.
This is basically the saddest thing we’ve ever seen. And the rest of the family standing by and watching is heartbreaking. Until you remember that they’re only snowmen, of course. Then it’s pretty hilarious. Just don’t ask us how they made the “blood”…
Have you ever been so wasted that you’ve faceplanted on a car? This snowy fellow apparently has. You’ve got to appreciate the artistic detail of those butt cheeks, though. Which is probably the only time it’ll ever be appropriate to say that last sentence.
We hope you didn’t want to sleep soundly tonight. In fact, after seeing the above photo, we’re not sure we’ll ever be able to look at a snowman the same way again. Just remember: it’s the little ones you’ve got to watch out for.
See what we mean? There’s nothing quite as terrifying as being overrun by a band of beings smaller than you – whether you’re a human or a snowman. At least these little guys just look like they’re having fun with an overstretched guardian.
Whoever’s behind this work of art certainly knows their memes. Indeed, the “rage face” guy has never looked so adorably fluffy. You’ve got to admire the detail, too: from the carefully carved teeth to the “scribbled-on” branch eyebrows.
Unfortunately, The Walking Dead’s snowy spin-off didn’t fare quite so well with viewers. Alas, The Melting Dead just couldn’t carry the same gravitas as the original zombie show. (Probably because it’s so hilarious.)
There’s something undeniably creepy about these snowmen. The glowing eyes might not be so bad if it wasn’t for the eerie clouds overhead. Whoever’s responsible for this creation certainly has one seriously weird sense of humor.
No bets on whether this snowman will still be standing come the next morning. But then, static snowmen are so 2016. This winter, it’s clearly all about getting creative with their poses. And the amount of alcohol they drink…
Imagine waking up to find this outside your door. Well, that’s exactly what one unfortunate kid had to do after his creative dad constructed this terrifying monstrosity. We’d say don’t try this at home, but it’s almost too good an idea to not replicate.
What’s most impressive about this snowman isn’t the hilarious pose of the guy who presumably built it – and who’s getting chomped on by its snowy teeth – but the sheer size of it. You’ve got to wonder exactly how the guy got up there without causing it to fall apart, too.
Who’s up for snowman skull soup? This guy, apparently. We can’t imagine how long this must have taken to put together, but its creator definitely gets points for sheer dedication and creativity. The heads on pikes are just the icing on the admittedly grim cake. In fact, it’s perfect.
The real question here, however, is whether the kid is pulling or pushing those legs. Either way, the attention to detail in this hilarious set-up is incredible.
When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not. But strong with the Force, this snowman is. Its creator has even gone to the trouble of coloring it in. We’re pretty sure that even Master Yoda himself would approve.
Do you want to bury a snowman? It’s amazing how much emotion and energy can be expressed with the simple addition of a couple of branch eyebrows. That poor fellow on the right must be feeling the chill – we can’t imagine getting buried in snow is pleasant, even for a snowman.
You’ve got to admire the dedication necessary to build an entire army of miniature snowmen. For all their cuteness, though, you probably wouldn’t want to run into them in a darkened alley. Several of them look pretty angry, after all…
If Jaws was a Christmas movie. Just in case you couldn’t tell what was going on, whoever’s behind this brilliant concept has even thrown a lifejacket on the unsuspecting snow-victim. Genius.
Even when all the surrounding snow has melted away, the killer snowman remains. That’s how you know he’s a real winter demon. Although the fact he’s eating a small child is a bit of a giveaway as well, we suppose.
Someone’s stuck a tree through this poor snowman. The crosses for eyes are the cherry on top of an inspired creation. In fact, as with many of the snowmen featured here, much of the credit must go to Calvin and Hobbes comic-strip creator Bill Watterson, who often drew Calvin making hilariously dark snow sculptures.
That’s one way to give your mailbox a wintery twist. Let’s just hope that the mailman can still recognize it. If he doesn’t, all you need to do is tell him to look for the screaming snowman. We’re pretty sure that’ll clear things up.