Nightclubs are usually filled to the rafters with embarrassing, inebriated idiots. Which is why they can be great fun indeed for anyone who likes to lose themselves to booze, boogieing and bad behavior. Everyone who has been clubbing knows that it can sometimes be great to let your hair down – but the key word here is “sometimes.” When you’re not in the mood, just looking around a club can really make you wonder why you bothered going out in the first place. Here are some of the most cringeworthy kinds of behavior that are all too common on the club scene. We sincerely hope that you guys don’t look like this when you hit the dance floor…
This is the danger of nightclubs. One minute you’re just a couple of good-looking ladies showing off your smiles; the next, the bride of Gollum has come out of nowhere and is trying to lick the precious rings off your fingers.
Wow, this is like the first three stages on a diagram of human evolution. If you see this terrifying mating dance on a night out then you need to run. Fast. These are the kind of girls who in fact take clubbing literally and will definitely drag you back to their cave at the end of the evening.
The braces and badge of an 18-year-old – going on 12 – and the dress sense and physique of an 80-year-old. This guy is the reason that the global drinking age should be set to 21. He’s only sipped his first beer, and he’s already lost his mind.
You know that moment when the clouds part and the beauty of the blue skies hits your eyes? This is that feeling. Just replace the word “clouds” with “thighs,” “beauty” with “agony,” and “the blue skies” with “your girlfriend’s fingers.”
This is when the photographer tells you to strike a pose, so you bust out your biggest talent. This dance move is called the elbow-poppin’, jaw-lockin’, hip-hoppin’ bopper, but some people just call it lockjaw because it’s a bit of a mouthful.
It looks like he just whispered something terrible – perhaps the most awkward pick-up line in the world? And her face says it all. This is one of those times when hover hand would be perfectly acceptable…
Now here is a man for whom dancing is an aggressive and agonizing endeavor. Straight after his failed audition to be an extra in the Broadway revival of The Sopranos, Tony needed to grind out some rage. Apparently his expression stayed like this all night, even when he drunkenly hunted for food on his way home.
John: Man, I’m having an awesome time. What time’s this club open till?
Simon: Tooth hurty.
John: Can you help me find my tooth?
This week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians – everyone has let themselves go a bit. Also, it’s going to get pretty greasy. Also, everyone has forgotten how to kiss and this one guy bites a woman’s tongue off. It’s a pretty weird episode.
The woman on the left looks sad because she has just realized that – instead of having a few shots and a boogie – she will definitely be getting murdered by Batman’s nemesis tonight. How many smiles can one woman fit on her face?
The hero in the chinos spotted an opportunity that was too good to pass up. When all around you is shameless debauchery, sometimes the world needs a symbol of contemplation for contrast. This photo actually came third in the “Humans and Animals” photography awards, 2003.
There’s nothing wrong with flexing your guns to try and land that elusive end-of-party kiss, but this poor guy’s performance received an immediate and emphatic review. Yeah, it looks like it’ll be a lonely one for you and your guns tonight, buddy.
Here is a cringeworthy capture that shows the extreme contrasts that can be seen on a single night out. It is also a portrait of how to be an absolute winner. Bros before hoes? Who needs a mantra like that when you can multitask like a boss?
It was only when the lights came up that Jamie realized his surprise birthday party – organized by his mother and his fiancée – was not going to be as fun as it should have been. Especially because it was on the next table along.
“Hey guys! Hey… HEY! CAN SOMEONE COME AND GIVE ME A HAND WITH THE DRINKS? GUYS? For God’s sake. I’ll bring three drinks on my own then, shall I? You guys really wind me up someti…” *Smash* “Gaaurghble… I’m going home.”
Big Dave’s raves have always been a haven for the ladies. In fact, with such a buffet of beautiful men on offer, how could anyone not want to fill their plate? Although, to be fair to Big Dave, it is draining holding up the disco ball all night.
Ugh, this is embarrassing. Wet patch – confirmed. Source of wet patch – as yet unknown. However, it’s just a shame that we don’t have the photograph taken moments later. This guy’s reaction to the touch test would probably have given us a good indication of the answer.
It looks like this guy has just bagged two bunnies but ruined it all in one fell swoop. Still, what you can’t see is his thirsty friend out of frame, lying on the floor with his mouth open. Way to be a good buddy, guy!
Indeed it was at that moment that Ryan’s world seemed to drift into slow-motion. His universe seemed to take on a different hue, and he heard the voices of angels singing, “Oh sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!”
This is in fact the last known photo of four students who never returned home after a night out clubbing. No one knows what happened to them, but witnesses claim they all looked and smelled delicious before they disappeared.