20 Times Parents Were Hilariously Cruel To Their Kids

Parents can be surprisingly savage. Indeed, the most brutal and embarrassing put-downs are often the messages and lessons that stick in their children’s mind the longest. Whether it’s down to missed curfews, temper tantrums or a simple desire to cause mischief, the parents featured here have taken punishing their kids to the next level of cruelty and creativity. Sometimes, lessons must be learnt in the most uncomfortable of ways.

What a great punishment the horseshoe haircut is. Boom! Instant middle age. Indeed, as soon as this kid walked out of the barber’s all he could think about was defaulting on his mortgage – despite not knowing what a mortgage is.

Apparently this girl was just a naive 12-year-old when her parents hilariously made her pose for this photo. That’s certainly a brutal burn, guys. At least wait until she is old enough for it to be an insult, which we think is around 40.

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Poor Matthew. Although to be fair to his parents, there were only two Ghostbusters made in the 1980s and birthdays come around every year. Also, what’s cooler – boring one-year-olds or Bill Murray and ghosts?

Bravo to this mommy. Not only is she teaching her kids a strong life lesson, she is also passive-aggressively poking fun at parents who allow their children to use this tactic. In fact, we would definitely give this an ironic “Like.”

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On the one hand this is in fact a great way to make sure your kid gets exercise – and making them run into a wall might be quite funny. On the other hand, however, children are not cats and making them run into a wall with the help of a laser pointer is probably illegal.

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This is some long-term thinking from a disgruntled, poop-scooping father. Indeed, we hope the dad keeps his promise. But the joke might be on him if she still does this at 17 years old and her friends have gotten used to it.

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*Slow hand clap* Bravo sir, you’ve turned your young daughter into a piece of phallic street art. We hope you are proud of yourself and get the applause you deserve. In fact, your wife might have some applause for the back of your head if she sees this.

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When young children can’t fully get their heads around the concept of bedtime, sometimes a little shock treatment might be necessary. Imagine running into this trap at five years old, though. Celebrations would almost certainly be triggering PTSD episodes for years.

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The Tooth Fairy can be surprisingly considerate at times. She has so much to do but still finds the time to write helpful letters. What? The Tooth Fairy’s not what? Ha, yeah right… then who has all my teeth? I’m not an idiot.

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While this kid was away from home his parents painted the house. Subsequently, the whole neighborhood now knows the truth. Being a dork must be really difficult if your parents seemingly used to be high-school bullies.

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This is genius parenting. Indeed, the effort taken to box the trash and send it left the clearest message: moms will always make sure you do your chores, even if you live on the other side of the country.

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This kid is really beginning to regret asking for cold, hard cash for his birthday. Ask and ye shall receive, little dude. Just make sure you remember this lesson on your 17th birthday so you don’t ask your parents for some “hot wheels.”

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“Haha! Oh that’s adorable but I’m sure he’s not the… oh, yep. Yep, that’s him. He pooped in another kid’s shoe the other day. I’ve started putting rum in my coffee and a little bit in his milk.”

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Curfews are there for a reason, kids. And that reason is so that your parents have a legitimate excuse to lock you out and have a little alone time. They may have messed up this time, however, because curfew will doubtless not be missed anymore.

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After a concerned message to his parents about an escaped murderer in their neighborhood, this is the reply one kid got from his parents. That’s not funny at all, however – it’s just cruel. Well, okay, it’s a little bit funny.

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Some say life is a bit of a sinking ship once you have kids. Indeed, the parents of this baby took that literally when they made this hilarious crib. Is it just us, or does the baby look like he’s screaming, “NOOOOOO”?

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Oh no. “FYI” in writing can pretty much only ever show passive-aggression and contempt toward the reader. You don’t have to take our word for it, but if you don’t, then consider this an FYI for the future.

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Maybe it’s the forlorn, teary stares. Or maybe it’s the slightly defiant body language. Whatever it is, we think the only way this punishment is really going to work is if it unites the siblings against their cruel parents.

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We love the fact that having children seems to end all personal embarrassment. It’s as if parents pass down their shame synapses to their kids at birth. These girls will almost certainly be buying sensible trousers for their entire lives. Mission accomplished, Dad.

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The parents of these children convinced them that they had another brother, who had been so bad at staying clean that he turned into a mushroom. They even added photos of “him” to their albums. Talk about commitment to a cruel and slightly disturbing bit of parenting.

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