Kids are great, right? Wrong. Sometimes kids are great. They can be cute, funny and endlessly inquisitive – but they can also be loud, smelly and inexplicably evil. A marauding tot, hellbent on destruction, is a force that can offend each of your senses one-by-one and occasionally all at the same time. So if you’ve ever considered adding a little nipper to your life, beware: the toddler-terrors you could witness might just put you off the idea of parenting for good.
Imagine walking in and seeing this dirty protest, for example. Come on, Timmy; we understand that you might not be keen on the color scheme in your room, but you don’t have to literally poo-poo it.
Have you ever wanted ice cream so much you just threw yourself at the freezer until you were covered in it? This kid obviously regrets his decision after learning that it’s possible to get brain-freeze on the outside of your head as well.
This dad will forever regret two decisions in his life: the first is introducing his child to Pippi Longstocking on TV and the second is having a child. Good luck at work today, dude!
Wife: “Yes dear?”
Husband: “Bella wants to show you something. I’m going out for about four hours, but I’m not telling you where or how you can contact me.”
Don’t let that innocent look fool you; the devil takes many forms. What you can’t see is that under those magazines there are six dead goldfish, a rolex and a poop for good measure.
“I think I’ll try a small. No, actually, I’ll try seventeen mediums. In fact, I just want to see how they look on the floor. Thanks for taking me shopping, Mom!”
Look at this little fellah’s proud smile! It’s no wonder; he looks like he pretty much managed to draw Guardians of the Galaxy’s Groot among the chaos. Well done, you budding artist.
Now this is pure evil. After failing to destroy her twin in utero, little Carrie here decided the next best step was to turn her sister into a toddler-sized stamp.
The woman who took this photo was more shocked than you can imagine. All she’d done was leave a packet of sea-monkeys in her fish tank before she went on vacation. She doesn’t even have a child.
Shortly after this, Rover was so upset that he took a dump on the carpet, hid under the bed and howled for hours. But what we want to know is who calls their kid Rover, anyway?
Grandads are great, aren’t they? His half-clenched fists say, “This kid is really trying my patience.” But his face says, “I’m an idiot with stickers on my face.”
They say kids today watch too much TV. Well, that’s not going to be a problem anymore, is it? Not only can these kids no longer see the screen, but they are also now grounded until they are 25.
This isn’t what Dad had in mind when he promised to teach his son how to do a headstand. Is he asleep? How could you sleep through that?
D’aawwww. How could you possibly stay mad at a kid with such lovely intentions? Well, when this mum finally stops screaming at passersby about the benefits of condoms, you should ask her.
The fact that the little girl is holding her pen high in victory at least shows ambition. She might have destroyed her sibling bond already, but she’s one step closer to becoming a top makeup artist.
These parents weren’t mad at all when they stumbled upon this mess. Ever the optimists, they considered this to be their son’s blue period and enrolled him immediately in an art school for gifted children.
“Oh, shii-take mushrooms… hey. You’re probably wondering about all this stuffing, right? Haha, yeah me too. I just got here a minute before you and, um… he did it.”
There is absolutely no regret in this child’s eyes. In fact, pure evil on that scale probably requires a helping hand from Supernanny, social services or an exorcist.
Say hello to our little friend. In this rare photo of a young Tony Montana, you can almost hear him whisper, “What have I done…”
This cheeky tot tried making sandwiches. And the peanut butter wasn’t even the worst part. You should see where the jelly ended up…