60 Shocking Pictures of the People of Walmart

The people of Walmart are as unique as snowflakes, each attracted by the supermarket’s bright lights and its promise of low, low prices. But perhaps it is this latter offer that draws the weird and the wonderful to Walmart’s aisles more so, seemingly, than to those of any other place of business. Take this lovely lady, for instance; she’s clearly in the market for a nice new blouse.

3. Walmart tighty whities
Image: via Wonkette

It’s rumored that some Walmartians survive on photosynthesis alone. That would explain the amount of flesh on display – though not the Confederate flag – in this Walmart. Also, is that a buggy they’re pushing?

Once a month, in time with the cycle of the moon, David Bowie from Labyrinth must venture to Walmart to replenish his expansive stock of hair products. This is a rare sight indeed.

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Chewbacca’s wife was not always at her best in the mornings. She just needed to buy her face towels and get out of there.

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What is this poor Walmart employee supposed to do in this situation? It would probably be best just to wheel the man straight outside again.

He’s shopping for a pair of sunglasses so that he doesn’t have to know how loud that shirt is. Unfortunately, though, the rest of us can still see it. The shoes? No comment.

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No matter how much Shaggy and Scooby-Doo tried to tell her, Daphne kept insisting on wearing those super-short purple dresses. Some people just don’t listen to good advice.

15. Walmart velociraptor
Image: via Wisel Wisel

Sometimes, in the right disguise, a Velociraptor can casually browse the aisles of Walmart without anyone noticing. It’s amazing how well they have adapted to modern society, although they still haven’t apparently heard of an iPod.

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2. Walmart dress and beard
Image: via DumpCast

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It would be amazing to know what DVD this apparently pregnant man with the world’s best beard bought. We’re guessing a comforting rom-com.

4. Walmart paintsplash
Image: via imgur

This guy has apparently just had an accident in the paint aisle. Either that, or somewhere a disgruntled Walmart employee is cleaning up a paint angel on aisle three.

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Predictably, perhaps, Satan has been known to wander freely through Walmart. Even the devil, it seems, sometimes needs to buy laundry detergent and breakfast cereal.

16. Walmart bum hands
Image: via Bear Tales

This woman has clearly gone to the wrong cashier. The “Returns & Exchanges” desk for those awful undies is the next one over.

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Walmart Pineapple Lead
Image: via Trending Report

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This tropical leopard tried its best not to be spotted but was discovered among the produce. It was the bizarre addition of a camo jacket that gave it away.

Somebody has been binge watching Game of Thrones. Perhaps another shopper should let him know that Khal Drogo died at the end of season one.

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Once a year, cereal mascots from around the globe meet at a specified Walmart and fight for supremacy. The losers, like poor Cap’n Crunch here, are forced to shamefully line up and purchase the winning mascot’s cereal brand.

Where he’s going, he doesn’t need roads. But a little push every now and then would be nice.

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Let it never be said that Santa Claus doesn’t have a good sense of humor. The funny thing is, though, there aren’t any other Christmas decorations on display in the store.

It’s often been said that a trip to Walmart is like a trip to another planet. On the evidence here, however, it’s more like a trip to another time.

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This is Patriot Paul. He’s part pirate, part robot, and all awesome. He would probably sing you the national anthem if you spoke to him as well.

And this is a wild Walmart fox evidently pretending to be a human that’s pretending to be a fox. It’s all very confusing.

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Sometimes, you’ve just got to commit yourself fully to your duvet day. Even if you have to leave the house to pick up chips, there’s no leaving that blanket.

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If anyone can get away with wearing their underwear on the outside, it’s… well, Superman. Definitely not this guy. Still, at least we can be thankful that those undies appear to be in pristine condition.

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Clearly, parrots aren’t as good at staying on their owners’ shoulders as they were in the days when pirates sailed the Seven Seas. Why else would this woman need to keep hers secured with a leash? Though perhaps the real question is, why did she bring it out in the first place?

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Wheelchairs aren’t traditionally built for two, but try telling that to the shoppers of Walmart. Then again, maybe they’ve just found a gap in the market – budding entrepreneurs, take note.

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People often forget that dinosaurs have to eat, too – but in this modern age of convenience, there’s no need for them to spend time and effort hunting down their next meal. Presumably his car is in the Jurassic car park.

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There’s never a wrong time of the year to don a sexy Santa outfit, apart from every day before December 25 and every day after it. And if you’re a middle-aged man, you should probably reconsider even then.

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You’ll probably be surprised – and perhaps terrified – to discover that Pennywise the Dancing Clown isn’t solely restricted to the fictitious world. Indeed, he can sometimes be found roaming the aisles of Walmart in search of his next meal. He’s mostly harmless, as long as you don’t ask him why he’s covered in blood.

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We’re not sure if there are any branches of Walmart in such disrepair that crows have come to reap the harvest, but hey – you never really know when you’re going to need a scarecrow. Or maybe she’s just his plus-one for a party later that evening.

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Why has nobody told this guy he’s got a lizard crawling up his back? Oh, that’s right – it’s probably his own pet, out for a mid-afternoon stroll. We’re sure reptiles prefer the aisles of Walmart to the great outdoors, anyway.

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Some people seemingly just can’t bear to be seen in Walmart. Such is their contempt for the hypermarket chain that they won’t even use a Walmart-branded bag to cover their faces – but they just can’t stay away from those low, low prices.

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Is anyone else impressed at how well those nails are staying intact? Either she’s using some kind of super adhesive, or Wolverine’s really let himself go in his retirement.

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Ever been showering and suddenly realized that you’ve forgotten to pick something up from the store? No matter – just take the shower with you. Multitasking at its finest.

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Everyone needs a friend. Even if that friend happens to be a miniature ragdoll.

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Sometimes, you just have to accept that green isn’t your color. Unless, of course, you’re doing this. In which case, um… carry on.

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It’s every bride’s dream to be walked down the aisle by her loving groom. We’re not sure a Walmart aisle counts, but hey, you have to take what you can get.

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It’s quite surprising that this photo wasn’t taken in the beauty aisle. After all, this guy must need to replenish his stocks of hairspray pretty much every day to maintain that wild coiffure.

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Opening an umbrella indoors is supposed to be bad luck – clearly this guy didn’t get the memo. Then again, maybe he’s just trying to very subtly hide whatever he’s up to on that computer.

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Rape is an important issue, but we’re not sure dressing in tin foil and standing in a Walmart queue is the best way to go about highlighting it. There are definitely better advertising methods out there…

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In the latest episode of “Walmart shoppers with exotic animals on their shoulders,” a woman is startled by the sudden appearance of a raccoon. It’s hardly the most hygienic pet to take to a public supermarket, is it?

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OK, we get it. You like music producer deadmau5. But did you really think this was appropriate attire for Walmart? Actually, after looking at the past few images, we’re not so sure about anything anymore…

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According to the song, Frosty the Snowman was a “jolly happy soul” who “came to life one day.” That day doesn’t seem to have arrived yet.

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There really must be no hope of ever finding intelligent life in the universe, given that the aliens who apparently already walk among us have decided to set a course for Wally World. Or maybe the department store also sells intergalactic space fuel?

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Did you even notice the guy with his pajamas tucked into his U.S. flag boots? No? That’s Walmart for you – where every aisle is another trip down the rabbit (or should that be unicorn?) hole.

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Centuries ago, the Vikings would pillage, burn and torture to get their hands on supplies and land. These days, all they have to do is walk into their local mall.

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What’s going on here? Is that a beauty face mask, or has she decided to go to Walmart deliberately blacked up? Either way, this is the unacceptable face of Walmart.

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There’s a time and a place for pretty much every outfit you could ever want to wear. For some, that time is anytime, and the place is Walmart.

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Left the pram at home? No worries – Walmart can cater to all your child-carrying needs, even at Christmas-time! The aisles aren’t quite a snowy hill, but that kid’s probably still having the time of his life. Right?

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Good thing this little fella’s on a leash, or who knows what kind of crazy mishaps and monkey business would ensue. Wandering the aisles of Walmart really is like walking through a real-life sitcom, isn’t it?

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And the award for “World’s Most Pointless Braces” goes to… this cheeky guy. Those jeans definitely aren’t doing their job of, you know, protecting his modesty.

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Beware the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, who have clearly arrived to teach important lessons to the customers of Walmart. Or just to do some shopping – although we’re surprised to see that this one’s not in the spirits aisle.

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Everyone wants to look like a million dollars, but there’s probably better ways to go about doing it. And better places to show off your apparently unlimited reserves of gold paint, too.

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Nothing to see here. Just a guy with a pink beard and a pink KFC bucket-hat with pink flowers growing out of it. But man, that hooded top looks ridiculous.

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St. Patrick’s Day is usually accompanied by alcohol. A lot of alcohol. But if you ever head down to Walmart to buy some more, and you see this, maybe you’ve overdone it.

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Walmart’s a great destination for a first date. As long as your date is an inanimate, inflatable object that has no concept of its depressing surroundings, that is. How deflating.

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Well, that’s one way to make the weekly grocery shop more enjoyable. Not for anyone else, of course – which probably explains why he has the whole aisle to himself.

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Pimps are almost as well-known for their frugality as they are for their fashion sense. How else do you explain this gaudy fellow’s choice of supermarket and attire?

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Come on, Walmart. You’re not even trying now. At least put a little effort into your promotions – is any kid really going to look at this guy and think they’re meeting the real Cat in the Hat? More pertinently, is any kid going to see this guy and not run a mile?

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This guy’s shopping cart is empty. Walmart doesn’t have what he needs. But to be fair, this solar system doesn’t have what he needs.

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Everyone keeps telling us to go green. But this is taking a bit far. Don’t go green – just go.

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Some days, you just don’t have a stitch to wear. In comes the cardboard box – it’s endlessly reusable and stunningly flexible. No matter your size, shape or weight, there’s a cardboard box out there for you. Probably.

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