You may be a boss b*tch now, but let’s be honest, you weren’t always this way. And if you were guilty of doing, loving or sporting any of the following during the 2000s, we’ve got some bad news for you: you may have been a bit of a basic b*tch back then. Never mind, eh?
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20. Your hair could have doubled up as a zebra’s mane
And whether it was streaky blonde highlights or colorful stripes haphazardly dyed into your crowning glory, your ’do was definitely not subtle. Bonus basic b*tch points for also sporting an accompanying zig-zag parting.
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19. Your MSN screen name -*LOokED liKE tHiS*-
Duh, proper grammar and punctuation was only for nerds and teachers – and those oh-so-deep song lyrics, or that “inspirational” quotation wouldn’t look nearly as cool otherwise.
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18. You were constantly stressing about your Myspace top 8
“Well, Vicky let me borrow her best jeans the other day, but if I include her then I’ll have to remove the Yellowcard fan page – and then how will everyone know how cool my music taste is?”
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17. You lived in Juicy Couture sweatpants
They were so comfortable and looked the business, after all. And who cares that having the word “juicy” emblazoned across your butt is more than a little bit creepy?
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16. Claire’s was your go-to for awesome jewelry
No trip to the mall was complete without a visit to the hallowed sanctuary that was Claire’s. So much choice! So cheap! And that green crust you get after wearing the stuff for a few hours is totally rad!
15. You wouldn’t have been seen dead using anything other than a flip phone
Sure, they used to break too much – but that didn’t matter when you could end a call with such theatrical flourish.
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14. Purses had logos a-go-go
And you yearned for a proper Louis Vuitton bag. Too bad, then, that your allowance would only stretch to a cheap knockoff.
13. Unless you were emo, French manicures were the only choice for your nails
So grown-up and sophisticated! Even if you did use Tip-ex for the white bit.
Image: Fiona Thomson
12. You begged your parents for a pair of Uggs
After all, you could spot rip-offs a mile away, so of course you had to have the real thing. Too bad your folks made you pay for the dry-cleaning bills every month, though.
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11. Of course your iPod Nano was engraved
Probably with lyrics by Jewel or Fiona Apple, so everyone could tell how soulful and deep you were. Unless you got it for Christmas, in which case you made sure to always cover up the barf-inducing message from Mom and Dad about how much they love you. Eww.
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10. Charlie was your signature scent
You piled the Charlie “perfumes” on, thinking that they’d give you a certain allure. Strange, then, that boys just seemed to flee from you in fits of coughing.
Image: Jon Sullivan
9. Cocktails always had to be cosmos
Once you’d graduated from Mike’s Hard Lemonade and finally came of age, there was only one drinking option on a night out: the cosmopolitan. Well, if it was good enough for the Sex and the City girls…
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8. You had your belly button pierced in secret
Unless your parents were super cool, you probably got your belly button pierced under the radar – and then spent weeks trying to hide the resulting crusty mess from them.
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7. You had a Baby-G watch but didn’t know what half of the settings did
But then again, it was only meant to look cool. Oh, and maybe let you know the time occasionally and embarrass you when it beeped in class.
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6. Only Dashboard Confessional really understood the real you
And your locker was covered in pictures of Chris Carrabba so that you could stare into his gorgeous brown eyes the same way that he stared into your tortured emo soul.
Image: Athena LeTrelle
5. You practiced your Regina George putdowns in front of the mirror
Mean Girls was your life – in every sense. And whether or not you actually wore pink on Wednesdays, high school was all about catty comments and burn books, so of course you had to keep up.
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4. Girl boxers always had to be on show
Because letting yours peek over your waistband was the only way to show that your underwear was on point and that those granny panties rumors were not true.
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3. Tiny plastic butterflies adorned your hair
From a distance, they looked real, right? And the best thing is that your big sister never even knew you stole them from her closet for free! Until that day she laughed at you, that is.
Image: Arthur Ivanov
2. Every ensemble could be improved with a crop top
No ’00s pop star’s outfit was complete without a flash of midriff – a look you’d emulate with tops so skimpy that you’d have your parents yelling at you as you ran out the door.