Google can be a risky business at the best of times. In fact to quote a famous movie line, the search engine is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get. And occasionally, the darkest corners of the web can throw up some completely absurd results. Take these 20 seemingly innocuous – if sometimes salacious – search terms, for example, all of which returned frankly baffling images.
20. “Sea horse”
Technically, this is a horse ready for the sea. All we need now is to see the proud stallion actually dip its toes in the ocean to prove it. Although its swimming gear seems just a little undersized…
19. “Snoop Lion”
The alternative cut of The Lion King wasn’t quite as popular as the original blockbuster. But then, the remake is never as good, is it?
18. “Missionary position”
Well, they’re dressed like missionaries, all right, and they are in the missionary position. What more do you want? Plus the fact that the guy on the bottom is enjoying himself so much just makes his partner’s dead stare even funnier.
There’s no easier way to make your unicorn picture more awesome than by adding Batman. Oh, and then turning the unicorn into a robot. In fact, this just might be one of the greatest images of all time. Thanks, Google.
16. “Kate Middleton topless”
You have to wonder whether Prince William uploaded this picture himself, just to troll the people fervently searching for NSFW images of his regal wife. Either way, the literal interpretation of this search term is, well, literally hilarious.
15. “Noble steed”
Is there any steed nobler than the giant snail? Doubtless in centuries gone by, brave knights would very slowly ride into battle upon these magnificent beasts, eventually – but surely – conquering their enemies.
14. “Nic Cage as a baby”
It’s true: the face of Nicolas Cage has not aged at all since infancy. In fact, the actor’s remarkable set of wild expressions was emblazoned onto his features from birth. And sure, it was pretty horrifying at first, but once the rest of him caught up it wasn’t so bad.
If you look up “skillful” in the dictionary, no doubt you’ll find a picture of this guy. That’s some crazy balancing skill he has there – and a damn strong head, too. Remember, though, kids: don’t try this at home.
12. “Stereotypical paleontologist”
Frankly, we were surprised this search didn’t return images of Ross Geller, perhaps the most famous – albeit fictional – paleontologist of them all. Either way, we’re glad this is what Google thinks of when you give it the word “paleontologist.”
11. “Crazy science”
We’re not sure there’s actually any science going on at all here – beyond calcium making bones stronger – but it definitely has the “crazy” part down. The expression on his face says it all, really.
The longer you stare, the weirder it gets. The original creator of this masterful Photoshop job is unknown, but we’re just thankful it exists.
9. “Smoking fish”
At first you think, “Okay, yeah – smoking fish. I get it.” Then you notice what the cigarette-puffing sea creature is encased in. And then you start to feel a little uncomfortable.
8. “Guitar solo”
If there’s one thing Star Wars: The Force Awakens was missing, it’s a gnarly guitar solo from the man himself. But unfortunately, we’ll now never get to see Han Solo riffing on a six-string, unless there’s another prequel. Sob…
7. “Traumatizing experience”
Poor Jaxon. We’re struggling to think of anything quite as traumatizing as being approached by a goat. Clearly CNN agrees.
6. “Modern Bambi”
We’re not convinced this is an actual still from an upcoming Disney remake. But one thing’s for sure: nothing sums up the beauty of a young fawn like the words, “Swiggity swooty, I’m coming for that booty.”
5. “Angry duck”
This Angry Birds parody doesn’t have quite the same impact as the franchise it’s attempting to lampoon. Perhaps it’s time to rethink using live animals rather than animation, eh?
4. “Shawshank Redemption”
It’s not what you expect when you Google The Shawshank Redemption, but it is something we’d love to see. Imagine replacing every actor in a film with Shaquille O’Neal? It works on so many levels.
3. “The correct way to store cables”
There’s nothing like Whoopi Goldberg’s smiling face to remind you to keep your cables tidy. If ever there was legitimate reason for a celebrity to merchandise their appearance, this is it.
This is taking foot fetishes to the next level. It doesn’t help that Leftie is breaking the fourth wall and gazing deep into your soul. Are you terrified yet?
Why is a slightly chunky, aging Steve Carrell lookalike holding a pineapple while wearing a sweater that says “banana”? And why is he so happy about it all? We may never know – it’s just another one of Google’s mysteries.