20 College Kids Who Failed So Epically, They Could Probably Still Use A Shoulder To Cry On

College can be a difficult time. After all, you’re just navigating through your first steps into adulthood, and all the ups and downs that come with it. So, you’re bound to make a few mistakes along the way. Some of us, however, make way worse mistakes than others. Just take these students – from falling asleep in a private study room to sending nudes to their professor, they’re probably still struggling to live down their gaffes to this day.

20. This strong kisser

I was hooking up with a guy after a very drunken night at the club. We went to kiss and we both misjudged it and I broke his nose with my chin. Needless to say we did not hook up after that.

We’re not sure how much force you’d need to go in with to break someone’s nose with your chin. But we think it’s safe to say that it’s more than you’d normally need for a kiss – no matter how passionate you are. Or, that is, passionately drunk. Really, we’re not surprised it never happened for them after this.

19. This forgetful essay writer

We had four essays due at the end of the semester. I procrastinated so long that they ended up being the last thing to do before summer. When I went to email them to my professor, I forgot to change the names of the documents. I titled each of them, “Stupid essay #1, #2, #3, #4.” My professor emailed back and called me out on it. I tried to lie my way through it and blame it on my roommate, but I doubt he bought it. Either way I got an A on the papers and in the class.

We guess the lesson here is, don’t leave everything until the last minute. Or if you do, just do it properly the first time, rather than using wildly inappropriate placeholder titles for your essays. Sure, it might not have impeded upon their grades on this occasion, but we bet it was hard facing that professor after this.

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18. This inspired essay writer

When I was a freshman, I was writing my final English paper. To give me some inspiration to finish the paper, I temporarily put the title as “LAST PAPER B******!!!” However, I forgot to change said title before submitting. All in all my professor was understanding and said that’s how she felt when she was grading papers.

Of course, “Stupid Essay” isn’t quite as damning as this one. But at least it was written with good intentions, and their professor could totally relate. So, they probably got off the hook easily here, but it’s still not a story they’re ever going to live down among their friends.

17. This major mistake-maker

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I was in anatomy and we had an exam that consisted of sitting one-on-one with the professor and identifying the bone or part of bone he pointed to. I literally sobbed through the full exam. I could barely talk and the only words I said the whole time were “I don’t know.” To make matters worse, a different professor walked in to talk to mine and the test didn’t stop. I just had to sit there crying in front of two professors now. As soon as I was dismissed, I walked straight to the registrar and changed my major.

We’ve never had an exam go so badly that we’ve changed our entire major because of it. But given the circumstances of this poor student, we think it’s pretty forgivable. After all, if you don’t know, you just don’t know. And breaking down in front of not one but two professors is probably enough to make anyone have a mid-college crisis.

16. This accidental over-sharer

While working on an essay for a group project, I leaned too far forward to look at my laptop. My stomach activated the phone’s touch screen and sent several random pics to the group chat. Among those was a single spectacular shot of my t*** I had taken for recreational use that was in no way ever meant to be seen by these five random strangers in my bio class, and yet here we were. They had just seen my goods without my consent but were so professional about it, and after I apologized for the random bunch of photos it was not mentioned at all, ever.

We’re glad that the rest of her group were cool about the whole thing. After all, that could have easily been super awkward. Not that it will have been much consolation to this woman, however, who’ll probably wake up in cold sweats years from now, still thinking of this moment.

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15. This clumsy kid

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On the first day of college I was heading back to my dorm and somehow I managed to open the door right into my head — great start to the year.

We feel like there’s a pretty good chance she might have picked up a nickname from this one. “Doorhead,” or something to that effect. After all, if it happened on the first day of college, it’s probably going to have been most people’s first impression of her. Yeah, she could definitely still use a shoulder to cry on.

14. This hungry friend

I texted my friend that I was hungry in class. About a half hour in, I hear the door open and my friend comes in with a bag of teriyaki beef jerky, a bag of gummy bears and an iced tea. She just looks at my professor and says, “Hey, I’m just dropping these off for Ashley.” She leaves them on my desk and leaves. I sat in the front of that class and my professor was just staring at me kinda smiling before she said, “If you’re hungry, go ahead and eat,” but it was so awkward, I told her I wasn’t hungry. So then she had to deal with my stomach constantly growling loudly till the end of the class.

Let’s be honest: Ashley has an amazing friend there. Sure, they may not be the most tactful person around. But who wouldn’t love to have someone they could rely on to bring them food the moment they get hungry? No matter how poor their timing is, then, we all need an Ashley’s friend in our lives.

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13. This drunk freshman

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After the first party of the school year, my freshman year where I got way too drunk, my orientation leader walked me home, and I puked all over him. I never lived it down.

Why do these stories always seem to occur right at the beginning of the school year? Well, probably because if they happened at the end, nobody would care. Yep, it’s far more embarrassing to have to live with what you’ve done for a whole year. Sorry, freshmen.

12. This heavy sleeper

Fell asleep in a private study room in the library, which I reserved for 12 hours. I’m such a sound sleeper people were banging on the door and I wouldn’t wake up. The staff had to come unlock the door and wake me up – I never got another private study room again.

This is so mortifying that we’d probably just never use the library again, never mind a private study room. Yes, we guess we’d just have to do all our studying in our dorm. Sure, it might be a hassle, but it’s easier than trying to live this down.

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11. This clumsy carrier

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I go to culinary school. I dropped the compost bin… on my way to dump it out.

Is there anything worse than making such a monumental gaffe in a public place? Well, yes. For instance, someone could have their phone out, ready to take a perfectly timed picture. And said picture could then be uploaded to the internet, for the entire world to see. Yeah, that would definitely be worse.

10. This improvising chef

I tried cooking mug brownies. Thing was, I had barely any ingredients, so I subbed the eggs for bananas, and I think that’s what caused the issue. The entire thing went up in smoke (no flames, luckily!) And the smoke alarm in my dorm room went off. For almost two hours. Maintenance was off duty that day, and so thanks to me, everyone in my dorm got no rest until someone finally came to remedy the situation.

We’re not saying all college kids are terrible cooks, but this girl isn’t doing much to destroy the stereotype. Indeed, somehow we doubt she’ll be doing much baking again any time soon. That is, if the rest of her dorm haven’t already confiscated her kitchen equipment in anger.

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9. This waspish student

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In class, my professor had enough of my friend and I cracking jokes and yelled, “If I hear another word from you girls, you will be failed for the semester!” So we quieted down, but then I discovered a GIGANTIC wasp crawling up my pant leg. I got up and screamed and flailed around like a maniac, which infuriated the professor but at least she didn’t fail me once she got the explanation!

To be fair, at least this one worked out in the end. After all, that would have been one mean professor to fail someone for defending themselves from a giant wasp. But somehow, we still think that this student is going to have difficulty forgetting about what happened that day.

8. This allergic girl

I had an allergic reaction in class and my professor had to Epipen me and take me to the hospital. Fun night in a hospital room with my professor for three hours.

Hey, at least this girl’s professor was there to save her. Indeed, it’s way better than the alternate scenario, in which nobody was around to make sure she was okay. So while she might never live it down, we bet she’s actually super thankful that they were there.

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7. This film student

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My professor handed back our three-page film essays [and] to my surprise I got a C [so] after class I asked her why. “You were supposed to write it about the movie The Emperor of Time – you wrote it on The Emperor’s New Groove, but it was kinda good so I didn’t fail you.” So that’s how I’m doing.

It’s an easy mistake to make. After all, The Emperor’s New Groove is super similar to The Emperor of Time, a seven-minute short film detailing the first motion pictures ever recorded. Okay, so it’s absolutely nothing like it, but at least this professor had a sense of humor about the student’s error.

6. This early sender

I emailed my professor and meant to say, “I am worried I don’t understand some material on our next test,” BUT I ACCIDENTALLY SENT THIS HELPME

Let’s be honest: who hasn’t contemplated emailing their professor about their latest existential crisis at one point or another? Okay, so it’s a different thing entirely to actually go through with it. But at least this student is just being honest with their professor, even if they don’t want to admit it.

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5. This floppy user

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Whilst MSN Messengering someone on my computer, I had clicked on a virus. In the midst of my computer going really screwy, I hastily saved all my files onto a series of floppy disks, including my history essay due the next morning. Phew! Relief. I submitted my essay with the said floppy. When it was returned to me, I went to re-save the essay from the floppy back onto my (now clean) computer. The essay was not the only file. I had also submitted a series of “sexy” photos I had taken for my boyfriend on my webcam.

Yeah, at this point we’d probably just have to transfer to a different university. After all, there’s no way we’d be able to ever look that professor in the face again. Indeed, this student could probably still use a shoulder to cry on whenever her brain forces her to relive this horrifying moment in her life.

4. This misnaming student

I had a Time Diary assignment where we had to track what we were doing every hour of the day and then figure out how much time was spent doing various activities. I always save my projects as funny names to amuse myself, but then the final copy, I’ll change it to a more professional name. I called my assignment a “Time Diarrhea” and totally forgot to change the name before I submitted it. Luckily, the teacher was cool. I, however, wanted to die.

“Time Diarrhea” definitely doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience, so we can only imagine what was going through the professor’s mind when deciding whether or not to open the document. After all, who knows what they might have found inside? Luckily for them, though, it was the student who had more reason to worry.

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3. This finals fail

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My husband called at 5pm from an out of town business meeting to ask how my 2pm chemistry final went. I answered with, “Oh you must have that confused with my bio exam tomorrow, my chem is tonight at 7pm.” It was not, it was at 2pm. I missed it. I called my prof only to get a voice recording that said “I am currently out of the office for the next 3 weeks, please leave a message and I will get back to you when I return.” I left what seemed like a 15 minute hysterical message begging for the opportunity to still write it. She let me, I did not do well.

Even after all that, the fact this woman still didn’t do well at her final must have felt like a real kick in the teeth. Indeed, if she’d aced it, then the embarrassing voicemail message might have been worth it. Alas, it’s now just something she’s probably never going to live down, and for good reason.

2. This alarmed student

I took a shower at like 11pm after a night of prepping for a big exam the next day… Our rooms had super sensitive smoke detectors, and I accidentally left my bathroom door open as I showered and after. So all of the steam from my shower escaped and set off the fire alarm. Now the flat of guys below us had a habit of spraying deodorant under the smoke alarms to set them off at like 3am, so I absolutely freaked out that these a******* were gonna stop me getting sleep while we waited for security technicians to check the building, all the while ranting about my big test to my friends. They came and checked which room had set it off, 2-1-2, and no one would own up to this being their room… I grew more and more irate that no-one was owning up, until my friend nudged me and said, isn’t that you… I was mortified !!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Yes, as if it wasn’t bad enough that this girl was the one who set off the fire alarm, she was also the one shouting angrily about it. After that, she probably never again dared kick up a fuss about the guys in the flat below.

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1. This history student

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The time I wrote an essay about former British Prime Minister Wilt Chamberlain and read it out loud in class. In front of my favorite history professor. And I was a history major. At least I gave her a good laugh.

In case you’re not familiar with Wilt Chamberlain, he was an American basketball player born in 1936. That’s not the same Chamberlain, then, who presided as British Prime Minister from 1937 to 1940. Indeed, that would be Neville Chamberlain. Yeah, we’d definitely have to switch majors after this one.

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