A London Dad’s Instagram Amusingly Illustrates How Brutal Bringing Up Four Girls Can Be

Simon Hooper has become Insta-famous thanks to his hilarious posts on fatherhood. Refusing to “sugarcoat” parenting, the dad of four daughters perfectly sums up being outnumbered by his girls.

It’s often said that parenthood is one of the toughest jobs that a person can undertake. It’s no wonder, then, that people often fail to see the funny side of the unexpected challenges it throws up. So, when one dad of four daughters began posting about his parenting triumphs and tribulations, his brutally honest account seemed like a breath of fresh air.

Simon Hooper and his wife Clemmie live in the leafy suburb of Crystal Palace in South London, UK. Both busy with demanding careers, they work as a global operations director and as a midwife, respectively. However, that hasn’t stopped the pair from growing a huge family.

In fact, the couple are parents to four girls. Their oldest, Anya, is nine-years-old. They also have Marnie, six, as well as ten-month-old twins, Ottilie and Delilah. It’s fair to say, then, that the Hoopers live a hectic life.

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It’s also true that the couple didn’t intend to end up with such a large brood. “One day we were moving in together after graduating from uni, the next I had my head in my hands after Clemmie having told me she was pregnant,” Hooper revealed to The Early Hour. “It wasn’t exactly what we’d planned. The visions of traveling and enjoying our mid-to-late twenties together was replaced with antenatal classes.”

Busy juggling his professional and private life, Hooper now claims he’s added a number of new talents to his repertoire. He joked in the same interview that aside from his roles as dad and operations director, he’s also, “a handy man, taxi driver, swimming instructor, tutor, chef, counselor, human climbing frame, bank, personal shopper and PA.”

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However, it’s clear to see that the couple love being parents. Clemmie documents her family life on her blog Gas & Air, where she also doles out advice for expectant and experienced mothers. And, although his job with a consultancy firm often takes him abroad, Hooper finds time to document his parental exploits on Instagram.

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But, it wasn’t the prospect of Insta-fame that attracted him to social media. “In general, my whole account is to show a realistic view of what parenting is like from a parent’s perspective,” he told Huffington Post. “There’s way too much sugarcoating when it comes to parents, so I wanted to share what it’s really like and provide a bit of humor at the same time.”

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And there’s really no subject Hooper shies away from. From bath time to bed time, through to teething and even sex ed, he’s tackled all manner of topics via his account. And it seems that fellow parents just can’t get enough of his witty posts.

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One of Hooper’s most-loved posts revealed his nighttime routine. “Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8-inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the ‘man zone,’” he quipped. The image has since been liked over 34,000 times, presumably by many other sleep-deprived fathers.

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Another image showed him wheeling his tiny twins down a supermarket baby aisle. Joking that he now lived in that section, he wrote, “New parents seem to gravitate to me as an ‘experienced parent’ (i.e. the tired looking guy shivering in the corner) and ask, ‘Do you know where so and so is please?’ My response, ‘Sure third shelf, halfway down on the left hand side. Buy three and get a discount.’”

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And all parents will surely sympathize with Hooper’s painful account of his twins’ teething. “An email would have sufficed but it seems they’d rather use their voices to get the message across that they really aren’t enjoying this stage of development,” he wrote. “It’s not straight screaming, it’s more like the sound a wounded animal might make that just wants to end it all.”

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However, it’s not all hard work at the Hoopers’ home. There are some fun and games, too. At his kids’ parties, the dad often stars as “Simon” in games of Simon Says. Revealing his technique, he explained, “I take it easy to start with and filter out those that can’t keep up. After separating the wheat from the chaff, we get to the hardcore pros who know their stuff. I finally kill them all off with the old stand on one leg, close one eye and stick out your tongue.”

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Thankfully, the doting dad also finds time to keep his marriage alive. His attempts to make his wife laugh, however, don’t always pay off. Like the time when he put the twins in a bag when Clemmie asked him to “pack the baby bag.” Naturally, the joker couldn’t miss the opportunity to mess around.

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Recounting what happened, he wrote, “I called her in, ‘Well, you said pack the baby bag,’ expecting a laugh. She didn’t. I then suggested cutting holes in the bottom for their legs to hang out, like those dog carriers but [she] was already less than pleased that I’d used her prized leather @kerikitbags for lols, so with my tail between my legs, I repacked.”

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As his offspring are growing up, you’d expect Hooper to be getting more experienced at the parenting game. However, it appears that just the opposite is happening. Recently, he was left red-faced when Anya started quizzing him about sex after learning about it in the classroom.

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“She’s very mature about it and having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid,” Hooper explained. “That said, she’s chosen tonight, when [Clemmie] is away, to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but I promised to tell her the truth. My personal favorite: ‘Do you wear a condom, Daddy?’ Me, ‘Yes.’ ‘Then why do you have so many children?’ Touchè.”

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With his original and honest take on parenting, it’s not hard to see why Hooper’s account is such a hit. “Hands down the best account on Instagram,” one of his fans gushed. “So refreshing and hilarious. Finally, someone who tells parenthood as it is – lots of laughs, giggles and plenty of awkward, silent moments.”

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While Hooper’s happy that people find his posts amusing, there’s also a more meaningful purpose to his frank admissions. He hopes parents can find some comfort in learning that they’re not the only ones facing everyday struggles. As he explained to Huffington Post, “Everyone is dealing with the same issues in this journey called parenting.”

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Finally, although it may be stressful at times, Simon says he “wouldn’t change [his family] for the world. Sure, it’s loud and emotions run high a lot of the time, but my place in all this is to keep the peace, be calm, caring and to support them all.” And with that, he simply added: “I’ve got everything I need.”

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