Hands up who’s ever seriously considered chowing down on a PB&J sandwich that they’ve just pulled out of a can? Nobody? Well, that’s probably because you’re sensible human beings who know that some food should just never be canned. Alas, not everybody got that memo. These, then, are the most unusual food items that man has ever stuffed inside a can.
In all fairness, the disgusting-sounding canned cheeseburger was designed by Trekking-Mahlzeiten for adventurers eating out in the wild. The product came out in 2008, and it could be consumed as-is or heated up. Either way, you’d have to be pretty hungry to try it.
18. Whole chicken
The Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken is exactly what it says on the can, and it seems that it’s just as wrong in real life. Indeed, in 2009 Paul Lukas wrote on Core77 that the product contained “a quivering mound of congealed goop.” Yum.
17. Russian herring
Canned Atlantic herring actually doesn’t sound too terrible. But if you opened up the can to find some jagged teeth and crinkly jaw bones staring back at you? That’s one can that’s going straight in the trash. Thanks for nothing, Russia.
16. Silkworm pupae
Silkworm pupae are a pretty popular snack-time treat in Korea, where the foodstuff is known as beondegi. But even then the little critters are first cooked by street vendors or in restaurants; they should surely never be seen in a can.
15. Peanut butter & jelly “Candwich”
This canned PB&J sandwich from Mark One Foods could potentially live in your store cupboard for 12 months. Unsurprisingly, then, when blog The Impulsive Buy reviewed a Candwich in 2011 it labeled the food “horrible tasting” and “bland.”
14. Hot dogs
Hot dogs already have a bad rep for their questionable contents, so sticking them in a can with some greasy liquid probably isn’t going to help their image problem. The good news? They’re ready to eat right out of the can!
13. Pork brains in milk gravy
Brave YouTuber Kevin Letterman tasted this canned delicacy in 2012. He likened the flavor of the pork brains to Spam, but he said that he understandably “wasn’t a fan of the looks” of the accompanying strawberry-tinged “milk gravy.”
12. Lamb tongues
Several companies sell “whole, peeled lamb tongues,” but it’s unsure if anybody actually wants to eat them. Of course, it’s not unusual for people to chow down on the organ meats of different animals; it’s just unusual that said meat should be packed into a can.
Grant’s, the company behind this canned haggis, claims to have been “creating the finest quality haggis since 1885,” but hopefully that’s not when it started putting its food in cans. Incidentally, if you do like the look of this, you can also purchase canned haggis curry.
10. Reindeer paté
The creators of reindeer paté have unashamedly promoted this “artic delicacy” as a “relative of Rudolph” and “an indulgent Christmas treat.” Certainly, offering some to your mother-in-law during the holidays could be a good way of getting Christmas to yourself next year.
9. Frog legs
Thailand Unique offer up this bizarre French delicacy for just $3 a can. But instead of uncurling these little amphibian legs out of a can, we’d recommend forking out a bit more dough and simply ordering the dish at a fancy restaurant.
8. Brown Bread
Apparently, this is a New England thing, and it’s not as bad as it looks. Indeed, in 2015 Yankee magazine called B&M’s canned brown bread “dense, moist” and “a solid ready-to-eat representative of the classic New England dish.”
7. All day breakfast
This, however, is definitely a British thing. In fact, Hunger Breaks’ “All Day Breakfast” can contains all the essential ingredients of an English fry-up: eggs, sausage, mushrooms, tomato sauce and baked beans. And, yes, they’re all mixed up together inside the can.
Escargot can be a delightful dish when served in Catalonia, where a land snail is simmered in butter, garlic and spices. This, though, is not escargot. This is a canned version by Wong Coco, and it does not look good.
5. Fried chicken-like food
FriChik Original by Worthington is sold as a “canned fried chicken-like pre-cooked vegetable product that can be eaten right out of the can.” Has there ever been a more off-putting description of food before?
4. 12-course meal in a jar
Creative type Chris Godfrey may have created this art-piece for his college class, but it is actually 12 courses of entirely edible food. Godfrey said that the work was “a reflection on the extravagant promises companies make to get us to buy their products.”
3. Pressed cod roe
Here we have, quite literally, a can of fish eggs, which is disgusting enough. But U.K. food company Princes has also smushed these fish eggs together into a can-shaped paté, just to be make them double un-appetizing.
2. Smoked Rattlesnake
Mountain America Jerky says that its canned smoked rattlesnake is something that “you have to try to believe.” We’ll have to take the company’s word for that because the idea of munching on tiny, crunchy snake-bones really doesn’t appeal.
1. Canned Bacon
Canned bacon was around in the ’70s and ’80s, and Yoders brought it back on the market in the 21st century. This pre-cooked version features about 50 rashers of bacon rolled up between sheets of waxy paper, and in 2008 the A.V. Club called it “stomach-revoltingly awful.”