20 Dads Reveal Their Brutally Honest Feelings About Their Partners Once They’ve Had Children

Having a child is a life-changing event. But aside from the sleepless nights, stress and worry of having a whole new life in your hands, there can be an unexpected side-effect, too. Men often view their partners in a completely new way. And judging by these confessions, the changes in perception can be mind-blowing.

20. The woman he fell in love with is gone

While his partner has changed profoundly, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. “She is no longer just your partner or wife, she is now someone’s mother, and that changes everything,” Daniel T. told Moms.com. You’re no longer the most important person in your partner’s life, but you’re a dad now, and a little person’s superhero.

19. Men experience hormonal changes too

It’s not a manly thing to admit, but men experience a range of hormonal changes and mood swings too. Matt V. confessed to Moms.com that he was a wreck over the most banal tasks after his third child arrived. He said, “My heart raced. Relentlessly. Anxiety turned to self-doubt.” All he needed though, like many moms, was reassurance that he’s doing great.

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18. Dads sometimes wonder what it’s like to breastfeed

Whether it’s the sensation of breastfeeding or the intimate connection that’s generated between mother and baby, men can be curious as to what it feels like. As Adam S. admitted, “I know I’m not the only guy alive who’s thought about what it must feel like to breastfeed a kid. I see my wife doing it and am curious about how it feels. She and our son have the most incredible bond.”

17. Men don’t always understand a mom’s choices

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It’s not something that Ubereats will be rushing to your door with anytime soon, but there are some recent mothers that have taken to a particular dietary trend – eating the placenta. Matt A.’s face gave his true feelings away when his wife said she intended to try it. As he recalled, his initial response was, “You’re going to do what?!”

16. Dads have a heightened sense of protection for their partners

Breastfeeding is a natural way to feed an infant. However, doing so in public spaces can still be a taboo subject. It’s something that Harrison G.’s wife didn’t think twice about, but nevertheless drew disapproving looks from strangers. He said, “I almost got into a fight with an old lady at a grocery store.” Why? She had been staring and quietly muttering as his girlfriend discreetly nursed their child.

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15. Moms can gross their partners out

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Babies can be slovenly creatures. But, as Jordan K. learned upon the arrival of his first child, so can his wife. He explained, “Every time I came home from work she greeted me in a dirty, smelly shirt covered in stains… wet stains that could make me dirty too. Ketchup, mustard, all the colors of the rainbow.” Thank heavens for baby wipes!

14. Men aren’t always sensitive towards their partners from the off

At first, Peter M. found his wife’s persistent need to urinate amusing. But with weaker muscles to control her bladder after giving birth, she ended up wetting herself on a number of occasions. Hilarious, right? “At first I couldn’t help but laugh,” he admitted. “But then I saw how uncomfortable and embarrassed she felt. It wasn’t her fault. I quickly changed my attitude and now I never want her to feel embarrassed about her bodily functions ever again.”

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13. Men see their partner’s entire bodies differently

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Charlie G. had an epiphany after his wife gave birth – her breasts had a function outside of sexual stimulation. He confessed, “I have left her body alone since she’s still nursing our daughter, but I think about how things will be once she’s done, and whether or not it will be weird if I put my mouth on them when we’re intimate. That grosses me out.”

12. Women show qualities men didn’t know existed

Parker D. told Moms.com that he was amazed at his wife’s resilience to pain, as well as her ability to deal with circumstances he just couldn’t stomach during child birth. But more than that, one anonymous dad told Babygaga that, “Seeing my wife take care of our daughter makes me love her even more. I have so much more appreciation for her strength and all that her body is able to achieve.”

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11. Men have more than one love of their life

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It’s a fact of human experience that different sorts of love exist. But when Kevin S. became a dad, he suddenly found he had two priorities. “I remember feeling so torn after the baby came out. I wanted to stay by my wife and make sure she was okay. But I also wanted to be near the baby. I think I sort of hopped back and forth for a bit and then my wife told me to go be with the baby.”

10. The feelings don’t stop when it’s not your baby

Childbirth is an emotional experience for everyone involved, not just for the biological parents. As an anonymous man explained to Moms.com, “My wife just had a baby… and it was a really interesting experience because she didn’t have my baby. She was a surrogate for two of our friends from college. I was so proud of [her] for being so strong and giving. When the dads started to cry when the baby was born – I lost it.”

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9. The longer a mom breastfeeds, the creepier men can find it

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Despite men’s fascination with breastfeeding, it can get to a point beyond what they find reasonable. As one anonymous dad told Babygaga, “I love that my wife has had so much success with breastfeeding our daughter. But she is three now – almost four – and drinks water and juice from a cup without problem. Can we stop with the breastfeeding now? Or at the very least, put it in a cup.”

8. There are some workloads dads can only wish they could share

On the subject of breastfeeding, some dads wish they could pitch in and share the burden of responsibility. As one explains, “We’ve tried the whole bottle thing and it doesn’t work. My twins love nursing directly from their mama and that makes late-night feedings even more hectic. I wish I could help more.”

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7. Intimacy changes after having a child

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And this doesn’t strictly mean you’re constantly exhausted and never in the mood. As one dad admitted, “I had no idea how to handle my wife’s breasts once we got the green light to, um, you know. I was afraid her milk would squirt everywhere, but that doesn’t happen as much as you’d think. I’ll have to wait before I can play with them how I used to.”

6. Joy in seeing her body do what it was built for

Women’s bodies were designed to bear children. Kevin says, “I like seeing our daughter asleep on my wife. The two just seem to fit together like lock and key. They look so comfortable and peaceful together. It’s as if a mom’s body was shaped in such a way for their children to rest on their chest. It’s beautiful to witness.”

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5. He sees her strength and dedication as super-attractive

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Seeing firsthand the extend to which a woman pushes herself throughout pregnancy, birth and motherhood can be enticing for a man. As Kerry explains, “[My wife is] so committed to losing those few pesky pounds from pregnancy that she’s been a regular at the gym for the last year. It’s inspiring to me to see a sleep-deprived, hard-working woman also make time to exercise. I find that dedication attractive in her.”

4. Recognizing her pain threshold and endurance as mind-blowing

Alex saw things he couldn’t believe when his wife gave birth. He recalled to Redbook, “It was important for her to give birth naturally. She didn’t want any drugs, and though her labor was nearly 24 hours, she never gave up. Watching her go through that made me see how strong she really is. It was like watching a superhero. It was awesome.”

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3. She’s more fun to cuddle

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Some moms work hard for a pre-baby body. But really, their partners don’t care. As Nick admits, “I’d never tell my girlfriend that I like her after-baby body better than her old one, but I kind of do. She’s always been beautiful in my eyes, but since having our daughter, she’s become curvier and softer. I like the extra cushion!”

2. Their partners inspire them to be better men

Some new fathers don’t immediately recognize the hassle that mothers can face in nursing their children. That eventual realization can hit hard, but it can also encourage a change in their own attitude. One dad, for example, was inspired to push for positive changes at his workplace in order to make mothers returning to work feel more at ease in pumping milk for their babies.

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1. Understanding that being a mom is a full-time job

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Never mind the endless piles of laundry, diaper changing and entertaining a newborn, feeding in itself is a full-time job. As this dad explained, “My wife keeps a schedule, has reminders on her phone, and an adaptor to pump in her car. I’m so impressed with her dedication and how much she hustles to keep up with our baby’s demand. It’s a job!”

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