Are you on the fence about whether it’s working out with your partner? Well here are some signs why it might not be time for a break-up. From having your own sense of identity to working as a real team, here are 20 reasons not to end your relationship now.
20. You’re living life to the max
If your relationship woes were bringing you down and making you feel miserable, that would be one thing. But if you’re having an absolute blast with a fun person by your side, then it might be a strong sign that you should stick together. Stop worrying and enjoy the ride.
19. You’re still yourself
Changing yourself beyond all recognition for your lover is a bad sign. So if you still have a strong sense of yourself and what you want out of life, the chances are that you’re with the right person. If you’re self-reliant and do your own thing, then don’t end the relationship.
18. You’re more comfortable around your partner than anyone else
If you feel totally relaxed and at ease around your partner – more than even with your family or friends – it’s a sure sign not to end the relationship. Dr. Billy Kidd, who’s studied relationships for years, has said that if you can relax and open up with your significant other then it’s a good sign – and you should consider staying.
17. You don’t gossip about your relationship
Another of Dr. Kidd’s positive indicators – a.k.a. signs that you should stay in a relationship – is that you don’t gossip about your relationship. Not feeling the need to share the intimate ins and outs of your partnership could very well be a good omen.
16. You don’t hold grudges
Even couples in strong relationships hold on to gripes and grievances – and they fester over the years. So, if you find you can let go of grudges, it’s a reason not to end things. The openness, communication and forgiveness needed to do this will make your union stronger.
15. Your partner challenges you
That’s right, your partner shouldn’t always just be blindly supportive. For a healthy relationship, they should challenge you, call you out on things and disagree with you. It keeps the relationship interesting. So, if they’re doing that, it’s definitely not a reason to end it.
14. You’re completely intimate with each other — and it’s not just about the sex
Obviously, sex is an important part of any healthy relationship. But it’s not the only thing. What’s most important is that you’re intimate — in both physical and emotional ways. If you find yourself opening up and really being vulnerable with your partner, then they’re probably a keeper.
13. You’ve made an active choice to love your partner
When you first get together with someone, everything’s great. It’s easy. You don’t have to put any effort in. As time goes by, being in a relationship with someone means you need to make a conscious choice to love them. It’s not a passive thing.
12. You don’t always have to have a plan
Having a plan for the future is great. But we’re talking about day-to-day life. If you find yourself at a loose end with nothing to do, and realize you just enjoy hanging out with your bae while doing absolutely nothing, it’s a definite positive sign.
11. You work as a real team
When they’re having a rough day, do you talk it out and tackle the problem together? Do you make decisions jointly? If you’re working as a genuine team, taking on the world together, it’s probably a reason to roll with it and stick your partnership out.
10. Things don’t change even if you don’t see them for ages
You know those one-in-a-million friends where things are still the same even if you don’t see them for ages? You can just pick up where you left off? Well, if you’re lucky enough to have a relationship like that, hold onto your partner.
9. You have loads of shared interests and hobbies
We’re not saying your relationship is going to fall apart if you don’t like doing the same things, but it certainly helps to have hobbies in common. Relationship expert Susan Pease Gadoua has said that if you have zero shared interests, then your partnership might be unworkable – but if you can find some common ground, then you may be able to build on it.
8. You have real respect for each other
It might sound obvious, but many people in relationships don’t have a real, profound respect for one other. As Susan Pease Gadoua has explained for Psychology Today, however, if there’s “mutual respect” then the relationship may be workable. If there’s no respect at all, though, then it may well be a lost cause.
7. You’re not looking for an “out”
If it would never occur to you to think of leaving, or finding an excuse to end things, then that’s a good sign in and of itself. Laura Dave, author of The Divorce Party, has said, “If you decide to look for an exit, you will always be able to find it, whether it comes in the form of another lover or another life.”
6. You’re both willing to forgive and move on
If you can find it within yourself to forgive your partner for big and small things, then it’s a sign of strong commitment. And Laura Dave believes that forgiveness definitely is not weakness. Indeed, she has remarked, “While some would argue that it is brave to pick up and start a new life when a relationship begins to ebb, the truly brave thing — the hard and valuable thing — is to figure out how to find a new flow together.”
5. You’re willing to fight for the relationship
If your partner shatters your trust by doing the unspeakable and cheating on you, are you willing to put it behind you? According to Laura Dave, “It always comes down to one thing. How hard are you willing to fight to make the relationship work?”
4. You’re aiming for the same life goals
You don’t have to be mirror copies of each other, but if your life goals align your partner could be a keeper. As psychotherapist Dr. Barton Goldsmith has explained in The Sydney Morning Herald, “When you have someone by your side who is striving for the same goals, they are attained much more easily.”
3. You do something nice for your partner for no reason
Do you find yourself making your partner dinner for no reason? Or bringing them home a treat from the store? These random acts of affection are a sign that you’re in it for the long haul. Dr. Goldsmith has explained, “Doing something nice for your mate, just because, makes life sweeter for both of you.”
2. They have your back when things get tough
Having someone who really supports you when the going gets tough is an indication of a good relationship. And Dr. Goldsmith has more sage advice on this front. He has said, “When things go awry, knowing that your mate has your back will allow you to go through whatever you have to and come out the other side a more positive person.”
1. You’re best friends
Ultimately if you’re best friends with your partner, then you might just have something perfect. As Dr. Goldsmith has explained, “Having someone who knows you deeply is validating. This is the gift of knowing that the wonderful things you do are not going unnoticed, and it gives you more reason to do them.”