It’s widely known that there’s far more to a successful romance than love. And while marriage may require a lot of work, the right ingredients can help to make sure that a relationship goes the distance. So, how do you know if your man is Mr. Right? Well, below we reveal some of the signs that you’ve hit the husband jackpot.
20. He’s someone you can trust
It’s been argued that trust is even more important than love in a relationship. Why is that? Well, according to experts, trust has to be built – but our emotions toward someone can be more easily swayed. “Love is a feeling and is strongly influenced by biochemistry,” psychologist Jennifer Rhodes told Elite Daily in 2018.
“Trust involves being able to think about someone else’s needs and making choices that respect your partner’s worldview and values,” Rhodes added. And listening to each other is also vital. A sign of a good husband, for instance, is that he “shows genuine interest in your life and listens attentively when you are speaking,” as psychologist Elinor Greenberg explained to Business Insider.
19. He makes you feel safe
Feeling safe in a relationship isn’t just a sign that your love will last; it’s crucial in any romance. Teresa Newsome, who is an advocate for sufferers of domestic abuse, explained that victims of violence can still love their partners. “The love may make it harder to leave – and harder to stay away – and that’s a real struggle,” she poignantly wrote in a 2016 article for Bustle.
At the same time, the way that your other half comforts you when you’re sad can be a clear indicator of character, too. “It may seem simple, but this is a very important trait to know what kind of human being the person is,” Married to a Narcissist author Catenya McHenry told Business Insider. Compassion and attentiveness are favorable signs, you see, while suggesting that you are making a mountain out of a molehill could apparently be indicative of narcissism.
18. He shows respect
John Gottman, who is a renowned psychologist, once said that the perfect partner should “look up to you, admire you and respect you.” That doesn’t have to mean that they should wait on you hand and foot, mind you. After all, respect is about considering the other person’s feelings and putting each other first.
Of course, no two people are ever exactly alike, so respect also means celebrating your differences. “The happiest relationships are built on mutual respect,” life coach Olga Levancuka informed FashionBeans.com. “So, even if you both have different interests you want to pursue, The One will be there to encourage and support you.”
17. He makes you feel happy
It hopefully goes without saying that happiness is of the utmost importance in any relationship. And although it’s natural for couples to go through rough patches and have times where they feel down in the dumps, the important thing is that overall, the positive ultimately outweighs the negative. The ideal husband should be someone who makes you feel good about yourself, too.
It’s also important to note, meanwhile, that marriage shouldn’t mean changing who you are for somebody else. Instead, your significant other should bring out the best in you and vice versa, dating expert Talia Goldstein claims. “Relationships where you truly feel like you’re the best version of yourself – that’s the best way to see if you’re a good match,” she told Business Insider in 2018.
16. He lets you be independent
While it’s great to feel like you can depend on your husband, it’s also important to keep doing your own thing. So, the person with whom you’re in a relationship should fit into your life rather than changing it altogether. “You can – and often should – include your partner in your decisions, but you should still feel free to decide,” advocate for domestic violence sufferers Teresa Newsome declared in 2016.
And Newsome added that it’s “essential” for a person to continue to have their own life, friends and hobbies when they’re in a relationship. A husband should not only understand this, but he should also encourage it. So, if he isn’t willing to give you some space, then that could be a red flag.
15. He wants to be part of a team
Love and trust aren’t the only vital attributes needed to create a lasting romance. A partnership should be, well, just that – and made up of two equals. According to Bustle, “If you’re not a team, and you don’t have equality, it can make you unhappy enough to spoil the relationship – whether there’s great love or not.”
And while it’s important for couples to be a team, people can bring different things to a marriage and make the partnership even stronger. “If you have the yin and the yang, they balance each other out,” romance guru Talia Goldstein told Business Insider in 2018. “I’ve found that balance works really well in a relationship.”
14. He communicates
Another attribute that’s often listed as one of the most necessary parts of a marriage is the ability to talk about things. And that’s because it trickles into every aspect of a partnership. “You need communication in a relationship to set boundaries, express your love, fix problems, express your needs and even to have good sex,” Bustle writer Teresa Newsome explained in 2016.
And although love can sometimes grow without healthy communication, it’s still very unlikely that a marriage can last and prosper in such circumstances. You see, it isn’t merely one of the foundations of any relationship – romantic or otherwise. Communication helps to build trust, too, as it’s a way for partners to avoid any negative surprises.
13. He’s transparent with you
Communication is all about conversing with each other. But at the same time, the substance of our exchanges is also very important. That’s because being honest nurtures a healthy relationship. Avoiding rocking the boat altogether can actually cause more problems than being open and upfront, after all.
So, a good other half is one who is not afraid to be transparent with you. But if they do have something painfully honest to say, this should take the form of constructive criticism that helps you improve – and in turn, allows your relationship to thrive. After all, couples have to be able to be candid with each other.
12. He makes time for date nights
When life is busy, quality time as a couple can become less of a priority. However, relationship gurus believe that making time for regular dates is crucial to nurturing romance. And this doesn’t even have to mean going out. What’s important, you see, is simply taking the time to spend with each other.
According to psychologist Melanie Schilling, date nights are “critical” and should ideally take place at least once a fortnight. Relationships Australia’s Matt Garrett weighed in on the topic, too, telling HuffPost, “Our lives are so busy and full [that] if we don’t make this time [for each other], feelings of being taken for granted can easily come up. And that is the death knell for any relationship.”
11. He shares responsibilities with you
Part of being a team means sharing the responsibilities that come with life. And clashing over small chores such as doing the laundry can eventually turn into big problems in a relationship. But couples who divide these types of tasks learn how to depend on each other – and strengthen their partnership in the process.
This can mean making sacrifices, too. In psychology, the phrase “costly commitment signals” refers to things that we do purely for the good of our partners – even when it costs us financially or emotionally. And a study in 2015 by Kobe University in Japan found that couples who do not practice this have less chance of staying together.
10. He’s patient
In today’s society, people are used to instant gratification. But having patience is key in a relationship. And while we’re all different and can sometimes struggle with embracing one another’s habits, practicing patience shows respect and support – and aids communication, too. According to psychiatrist and author Judith Orloff, these benefits make patience a vital skill to cultivate within ourselves.
“Without patience, you turn into your own worst taskmaster. You treat spouses and friends as disposable instead of devoting the necessary time to nurture love,” Orloff wrote in a 2012 piece for Psychology Today. “But with patience, you’re able to step back and regroup instead of aggressively reacting or hastily giving up on someone who’s frustrating you. You’re able to invest meaningful time in a relationship without giving up or giving in.”
9. He makes you laugh
Of course, there are a lot of elements to making a relationship work such as trust and honesty. And although humor may sometimes be overlooked in comparison, it too has its place in a marriage. That’s because the ability to laugh is a useful tool in dealing with the unpredictable – and often difficult – situations that we may face in life.
“If we take that sensibility into the various interactions within our relationship – good, bad or indifferent – then we can be assured of a lot less tension and a lot more forward motion,” Michael J. Formica wrote in a 2010 article for Psychology Today. So, a husband who makes you laugh doesn’t just bring humor to the marriage. It’s also an encouraging sign of an optimistic outlook.
8. He values your opinion
Whether or not a person takes your views into consideration can show you what kind of a partner they are. If a husband encourages his wife to share her thoughts about important elements of his life, for instance, it implies that he trusts her implicitly. And this is the case even if he chooses not to take her advice in the end.
And according to HuffPost, if your partner regularly wants to hear your opinions, it means that he finds you “intelligent, capable, and wise.” Of course, it also indicates that he actively listens to you and appreciates you. So, your significant other asking for your guidance and listening to your thoughts may actually reveal a lot about the status of your relationship.
7. He’s not controlling or jealous
Jealousy is something that most people experience, and there’s nothing abnormal about that. But in a relationship, it can be seriously damaging. That’s why a husband who doesn’t allow the green-eyed monster to get in the way of his marriage is probably secure in both himself and the partnership that you share.
Similarly, it’s a worrying sign if your hubby is controlling or tries to dictate your life. “If your partner wants to change you in any way, he/she is not accepting you for who you are,” Narcissist Abuse Support founder Tracy Malone told Business Insider. “If that happens, run. That is a sign of a controlling person, and he/she will never treat you properly.”
6. He wants to spend time with your friends and family
A man who wishes to be in your life forever should accept that there are other relationships that you need to nurture outside of your marriage. If your husband is willing to spend time with your loved ones, then, it shows that he respects you and understands your values. And wanting your family and friends to like your beau also indicates that you’re serious about the romance going the distance.
Psychologists believe that when it comes to finding our other halves, our relationships can be deeply affected by the opinions of people we are close to. According to a study that took place in 2014, we want to enlist the assistance of others when we embark upon a new romance. And if your guy gets on with your family, that’s even better: it means that he could be The One.
5. He talks about the future
Of course, discussing the future – and including you in it – is a good sign that your partner sees you in their life forever. However, if he doesn’t, it may suggest that your union is nearing its end, according to relationship guru Celia Schweyer of DatingScout.com. Instead of avoiding such conversations, then, your other half should be eager to speak about the subject – if he’s keen to stay with you, that is.
Interestingly, there’s another way to tell if your man sees a real future with you – and that’s by the language that he uses. Does he say “us” and “we” instead of “me” and “I?” Yes, these tiny words mean more than you might think. In 2002, you see, researchers claimed that those who choose inclusive pronouns are more likely to be “deeply connected” to their other halves.
4. He’s kind
Kindness is a vital character trait in the person with whom you choose to spend the rest of your life. “Someone who can be counted on for kindness towards the people whom they love is an ideal partner for a relationship,” sex writer Danielle Sepulveres told Bustle in 2016. “Their kindness to others is a mark of someone who fundamentally looks for the good in everyone.”
After all, kindness is indicative that a person is respectful and shows patience in tricky everyday situations. If your husband is tolerant not only of his loved ones, but also of people who may irritate him, then this may be a sign that he’s a keeper. “The way [people] react to inconveniences is telling as to how they will handle larger problems,” added Sepulveres.
3. He fights for your relationship
It’s often said that partnerships aren’t always going to be smooth sailing. So experts advise that it’s willingness to put in the necessary work that’s far more important than how much you have in common. “A successful relationship does not hinge its posterity on how alike you are. Instead, it hangs on by sheer will power and the desire to stay in a relationship,” French research psychologist Luis Rubén de Borbón explained in 2015.
And life coach Olga Levancuka agreed, explaining that dating shouldn’t necessarily be a case of discovering who you’re most compatible with. “It means finding someone who is prepared to make your relationship work, and you’re prepared to do the same,” she told fashionbeans.com. “Relationships aren’t all about romantic getaways and butterflies: they can be hard work, and you both have to be prepared to build solid foundations.”
2. He compromises
Compromise is crucial for any marriage to survive. And that’s why relationship guru Anita Chlipala told Bustle in 2016 that, when it comes to husbands, “mental flexibility” is ultimately far more important than looks and finances. So, if your man is happy to do what it takes to come to an agreement and doesn’t expect you to always be the one giving in, the signs are probably good.
According to Chlipala, “being able to see things from your partner’s point of view and being willing to work on a compromise if necessary” is what’s crucial. “Despite popular belief, a couple won’t see eye to eye on the majority of issues,” she added. “And that’s okay as long as both convey acceptance of the other and work on solutions that work for both people.”
1. He’s your biggest supporter
The ideal husband is one who supports you in all your endeavors. Not only does this prove that he respects you by showing an interest in your life, but it also indicates that he is content within himself. “A person who can authentically be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t feel the need to hold you back,” therapist Shannon Thomas told Business Insider in 2018.
So if you’re encouraged to explore your own passions no matter how they differ from your significant other’s, then that’s a strong indicator that he’s The One. “Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner,” Thomas said. “Dating someone who is happy with their life means they can be happy for you and alongside you.”