Everyone tries their best to be a good person. But, unfortunately, it turns out you could be disobeying the big guy in the sky every single day without even knowing it. In fact, from getting inked to shaving your beard, here are 20 things you probably didn’t even realise are forbidden by the Bible.
20. Working way more than 9 to 5
Lots of us have a sneaky check of our work email on a Sunday. It’s a fact of modern living. And yet Exodus 31: 14-15 reads, “For six days work is to be done, but the seventh day is a day of sabbath rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the sabbath day is to be put to death.” Explain that to your boss.
19. Getting inked
Leviticus 19:23 reads, “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves.” So if you’ve got an ill-advised lower back tattoo then you’re making God mad – as well as your mom.
18. Feasting on bloody burgers
The Bible is arguably so fond of fire, brimstone and general gore that this one comes as a bit of a surprise. And yet Leviticus 3:17 reads, “It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that you eat neither fat nor blood.” So put down the dirty burger and pick up a courgetti spiralizer instead.
17. Daily beard grooming
The Old Testament definitely frowns upon regular beard upkeep – or any beard grooming, to be precise. Indeed, Leviticus 21:5 states, “They shall not make any baldness on their heads, nor shave off the edges of their beards.” There are going to be so many upset hipsters out there…
16. Layering your clothes
“But layering is so on trend right now,” we hear you cry. Well, too bad. You can’t layer your favorite wool sweater under a sharp white shirt anymore. The Bible says so. Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You shall not… wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”
15. Constant gossiping
Gossiping about co-workers, acquaintances, Z-list celebrities: it’s one of the simple pleasures of life. And one that the Bible is trying to take away from us. Leviticus 19:16 says, “Thou shalt not go about as a talebearer among thy people…” But come on, “going about as a talebearer” sounds really fun.
14. Munching on crispy bacon
Put down that BLT; the Bible doesn’t like it. And it’s not just bacon that the Old Testament doesn’t like you putting on your table either. According to the Bible, you can’t eat sausages, pork chops, trotters – any part of the pig. Leviticus 11:7-8 lays down the law by saying, “You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.”
13. Enjoying most seafood
Fancy some mussels? How about some sea-fresh lobster? Too bad, Bible says no. In the book of Leviticus 10:11 (where else?) we find, “And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the water, and of any living thing which is in the water, they shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh.”
12. Flashing your finery
The Old Testament even has rules about which kind of jewlery is acceptable and which will damn you to Hell. For example, Timothy 2:9 states, “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.” Kind of makes you want to wear all your jewelry at once, doesn’t it?
11. Disrespecting your parents
Exodus 21:17 decrees, “And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.” Basically that means the Bible says you can’t argue with your parents or call them names when you’re angry. Is nothing sacred?
10. Spinning a little white lie
Whether we admit it or not, telling lies is an everyday activity for a lot of us. But hey, guess what? The Bible says it’s wrong. Check out Leviticus 19:11, “Do not deceive or cheat one another.” This time, however, the Bible just might have a point. With all the fake news and post-truth “facts” out there, we could all do with doing a little less lying.
9. Dissing the elderly
Okay, we’ve got to hand it to the Bible on this one. Our society doesn’t always treat older people with the respect and admiration they deserve. And so we’d have to agree with Leviticus 19:32 which reads, “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God.” Word.
8. Hold grudges
Being bitter and slightly passive-aggressive because your other half left the toilet seat up/down again is one of life’s miserable little joys. Enter the Bible. Leviticus 19:18 states, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love thy neighbor as yourself.” Sigh.
7. Tearing up your jeans
Leave it to Leviticus to ruin our fun. And this time it’s got its sights on our jeans – or all clothes, to be specific. Leviticus 10:6 states, “Do not let your hair become unkempt and do not tear your clothes, or you will die.” So no more stylishly ripping your denim, or, you know… death.
6. Want other people’s stuff
Food envy, clothes envy, general FOMO. Being envious of what other people have is an unfortunate aspect of our social media-fueled modern lives. And one of the Bible’s ten commandments says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house… or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox.” Okay, so you might not be coveting an ox these days but the point stands.
5. Touch steaks
According to Leviticus 5:2, “Suppose you unknowingly touch something that is ceremonially unclean, such as the carcass of an unclean animal. When you realize what you have done, you must admit your defilement and your guilt.” So next time you’re handling steaks for the grill, make sure you admit your guilt or you could be risking eternal damnation.
4. Stepping on the property ladder
More words of wisdom from Leviticus 25:23 here, “The land must not be sold permanently, because the land is mine and you reside in my land as foreigners and strangers.” Look, the Bible is just plain weird sometimes. If it says you can’t buy a house, then just don’t do it. You’re risking the wrath of God or whatever.
3. Getting remarried
This time we turn to the New Testament, where a little gem can be found in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Great, so everyone who gets divorced is just supposed to be sad and alone forever. Thanks a bunch, Bible.
2. Not sharing food
Leviticus 19:10 decrees, “Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner.” And we can probably interpret that as yes, the Bible does want you to share your fries.
1. Checking people out
Single or not, everyone checks people out from time to time. It’s human nature. Big surprise: the Bible doesn’t like it, not one little bit. In fact, Matthew 5:28 says you’re basically a filthy cheater if you so much as look at someone else. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”