The likes of Tinder, Snapchat and other social media have made it possible for couples to hook up at the touch of a button or swipe of the finger. But there’s a flip side. Indeed, it’s probably never been easier for your man to cheat on you. So how can you tell if he’s faithful? Well, here are 20 ways to know that your man is only swiping right on you.
20. He uses “we” rather than “me”
Psychologist, author and marriage counselor Randi Gunther has asserted that discerning whether a man is straying is all about the words he uses. Apparently, faithful men have a slightly different way of putting things, compared to their cheating counterparts. Specifically, a man who uses the words “we” and “us” is indicating to others that he is in a committed relationship – something that a U.C. Berkeley study backs up.
19. He celebrates the great things that happen to you
It’s not all about him supporting you when times are hard. According to studies by the University of California, if your partner celebrates with you when things are going well – for example, when you get a promotion at work – that’s actually a clearer indicator that you have a strong and meaningful relationship. Indeed, a committed partner will understand that your happiness ultimately affects both of you.
18. He doesn’t keep secrets
According to British research, one in five people are keeping a rather large secret from their partner – and often it involves money. However, if you and your man are consistently open with each other about everything from ex-partners to financial issues, it’s unlikely he’s keeping other secrets from you, too.
17. He appreciates you
A University of Georgia study has shown a direct correlation between a happy and long marriage and feeling valued and appreciated. So if your boyfriend or husband is having problems with work or money but is still able to express gratitude to you for whatever you do, it’s a good indication of his commitment and belief that your relationship will last.
16. He calls for no reason
It’s normal for your partner to call you often and for no reason at the beginning of a relationship – but if he’s still doing it a year down the line, that’s when you know he’s serious. And if there’s no reason for him calling other than to just listen to your voice, then he’s clearly thinking about you and not someone else.
15. His buddies know lots about you
When your man is proud to show you off to his friends, comfortable talking to them about you and quite happy for everyone to know how much he loves you, he’s obviously smitten. The fact that he cares whether you get along with his buddies – and that he makes an effort with your friends, too – is a very strong indication of his commitment.
14. He values your opinion
Your partner consults with you on big decisions. He asks what you think before he does something. He often takes your advice over other people’s. Well, isn’t it obvious that he cares about what you think? He clearly puts value on your opinions and, as a result, values you as a person.
13. He doesn’t go missing without explanation
It’s not about you knowing exactly where he is, all of the time: it’s about him not having secrets about where he’s going. Indeed, if he’s relaxed and open about his movements, it’s unlikely he’s having a secret liaison with someone else. But if he spends long periods of time incommunicado, that’s when you should be worried.
12. He’s happy to come home to you
If your partner seems happy coming home to you and sharing his free time with you, it’s a good indication that all is well. Most people enjoy a feeling of security and belonging, after all, and we don’t want to risk losing it. As a result, a man who disappears into a bar without you every night is quite possibly not too serious about cultivating a thriving relationship with you.
11. Your instincts tell you so
Don’t ignore your woman’s intuition – it can often work quite well. So if you have a gut feeling that your man is faithful to you and you can trust him, go with it. Don’t be suspicious for no reason, though – worrying can make you miserable and, although men have been known to cheat, they’re not all at it. Talk to a friend if you need an objective ear.
10. He has good friends
Birds of a feather flock together, or so the saying goes. So if your man hangs out with nice guys, he’s very likely to be one of them, too. In fact, friends often influence one another – so if his buddies are positive towards you and like having you around, they would probably encourage him to be a good boy when you’re not there.
9. He feels appreciated by you
According to counselor, rabbi and author Gary Neuman, most men cheat because they feel unappreciated. In a 2008 interview with Newsweek he explained, “Men are far more insecure than they let on, and they do want to please their wives and feel valued. They like to win, and as long as they are winning with their wife then they stay in the game.”
8. He can be intimate after sex
If your partner is as happy with a kiss and a cuddle on the sofa as he is with a full-on romp between the sheets, it’s a good sign that sex is not his only motivation in your relationship. Long-lasting relationships need nurturing with closeness and shared intimacy, which means contact with clothes on as well as off.
7. He doesn’t take you for granted
We’ve all been there: you’ve made plans, then all of a sudden his old pal shows up with tickets for a show or a ballgame. Well, if your guy can stick to his previously arranged schedule with you, he’s certainly a keeper. In fact, you know you’ve hit the jackpot when your man prioritizes you over his friends.
6. He doesn’t play mind games
No one likes having his or her head messed with. So if your man blows hot and cold with his affections or makes promises he doesn’t keep, it’s often because he doesn’t actually care too much about you – or, indeed, about having a committed relationship with you.
5. He listens to you and is interested in what you say
These days, the definition of a great relationship is one where you can talk and the other person listens without them constantly looking at their phone. As a result, when you find yourself telling your partner your deepest, darkest secrets and he really hangs on your every word, you know that you’ve found someone who truly cares about and is interested in you.
4. His actions speak for themselves
Not all men are going to be the open, sharing, emotional beings we want them to be. Indeed, some aren’t very good at all at expressing themselves verbally. Don’t get frustrated with your partner for not saying all the right things, though: if he loves you, he’ll show you he cares using other methods.
3. He keeps to his word and has integrity
As authors and relationships experts Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz have asserted, “An honest man’s words and actions will be consistent.” And that’s how a man builds integrity. In the context of a relationship, moreover, this quality helps to build trust, which is the basis for all good, long-lasting relationships. When a man with integrity tells you he’s faithful, then, you can bet that he is.
2. He’s honest and open
When a man is able to openly discuss his past and what he wants for his future with you, it should immediately put you at ease. Honesty and good communication, where you can say how you feel without having a huge argument, are fundamental to a good relationship – not to mention a good indicator that your partner is not prone to telling lies.
1. You have common goals
You’re both happy. Together, you have made plans. You’re working towards common goals. So it doesn’t make much sense to flush those plans down the toilet for the sake of a bunk-up with someone else, does it?