These Are The Strict Rules Members Of The Mafia Must Never, Ever Break

Honor is, clearly, a big deal to members of the Mafia. As is respect and being good to your mom, but we digress. A big part of honor among family members, as well as those who have potential, is knowing your place. And this rule makes absolutely sure everyone involved knows where they stand. 

What are we talking about? This particular rule states that no potential mobster can ever approach a made man — someone who’s already in a family — directly. Ever. A third person — of similar status — has to do it on their behalf. 

Gangster movies have been telling us for decades that mobsters always have a wife plus at least one girlfriend. But it seems that old-school Mafia types take a pretty hard line on infidelity. At least, within the Family. Yup, there’s a rule that specifically states that Family men must never look at the wives of their “friends.”

“Friends” here, as you probably know, is a code-word for Family members. And “look” here means… covet, we assume. Now, all of this is just sensible really. Legitimate businessmen’s lives are complicated enough as it is. But what about outside the Family? Well, that seems just fine… Or does it?

This rule probably seems a little obvious: who knows what occurred in the past to make adding it to the Mafia rulebook necessary? Anyhow, Family members are, unsurprisingly, forbidden from knowing or generally hanging out with anyone who may be a cop. Outside of Family business, natch!

Working with cops is fine, as long as that relationship stays all-business. Although quite why it became necessary to write that rule down is, sadly, lost to history. Perhaps the reason the Mob is so very clear on this point is that made men have a horrible habit of spilling their guts to policemen, right, Henry Hill?

You’d think that sociability was an integral part of Mob life, given how often we’re shown movie scenes in bars, delis and clubs. But for made men it seems that even having a drink is only approved when it benefits the Family.

And that’s because going to clubs and bars is actually forbidden. Unless you own or run the club and, presumably, do it for the organization. Then and only then can you be seen glad-handing and quaffing expensive Bourbon. Although, if Goodfellas is to be believed, some mobsters take that rule with a very large pinch of salt...

If you are thinking about becoming a member of the Mafia, be aware that you will never not be on call. As a made man, it’s your duty to be available to the Family anytime of the day or night, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks of the year.

This is true no matter what might be going on in your life. Your wife is having a baby? It doesn’t matter. Just about to sit down to a gorgeous Christmas dinner? Your other Family doesn’t care. About to go to a funeral? That’s a shame, but you will miss it. If you get the call, you go. And that’s that.

Now, as you may already know, the Mob is all about respect. And that goes double for keeping people waiting. Legitimate businessmen are hard-nosed go-getters with just a ton of stuff to do and they don’t have time for your nonsense.

So, if a made man agrees to meet with you, he, quite rightly, expects you to be punctual. Not two minutes late, not 60 seconds late. This is because — and we cannot stress this enough — keeping mobsters waiting is super-disrespectful. No excuses will be accepted. Really, don’t do it. Not if you value your hands/feet/pretty face.

If Martin Scorsese is to be believed, mobsters happily stray away from their wives, lie and generally behave as though no rules will ever apply to them. Henry Hill and his ilk from Goodfellas — based on the memoir of a real-life mobster — are clearly having the (two-)time of their lives, stringing along wives and girlfriends.

But old-school Mafia types may well have put a swift stop to Hill’s out-of-wedlock shenanigans had they been around. According to the Mafia rules, wives are to be respected, not cheated on and told lies. We can’t help but wonder if this has something to do with the possible law-related problems disgruntled partners can cause…

This might sound a bit odd, given the Mob’s oft-quoted associations with dubious enterprises, but honesty is a big deal to the Mafia. Which means if any made man or associate is asked a question by a Family member, they only have one option, and that’s to spill their guts. 

Yup, telling the truth is so important to the Family that it’s actually one of the original rules. With, we presume, grave consequences for those that break it. It seems even serious mobsters need to be able to trust someone. And if you can’t trust your Family, who can you trust?

Whether it’s an agreed percentage or the whole megillah, Family money is exactly that. This means if you’re in business with mobsters, skimming, stashing and stealing of cash that belongs to a Family member will never be tolerated.

And believe it or not, that also goes for money owned by a different Family. This avoids any tricky Mob wars over cash, and keeps everyone on the straight and narrow. All made men and their associates have to prove their loyalty and wait their turn for a bigger cut. From legitimate businesses, of course.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Mob has some very strict rules concerning who can and can’t join the organization. Firstly, all official members are men, no exceptions. If you’ve got a cop-based relative, you’re out. Ditto if you’re related to a cheater. But then the list of no-nos broadens out massively.

In fact, the rule ends by including anyone who exhibits bad behavior or has questionable morals. Strange choice of words, no? Obviously, legitimate businessmen are stand-up guys. But even Henry Hill’s memoir had them straight-up stealing millions of dollars from an airport. And they weren’t subtle about it — as Hill himself put it, "[It] turned out to be the biggest heist in American history." Perhaps the Mob has a slightly different definition of bad behavior?

In a similar fashion, there’s also a rule about the provenance of those who join the organization. Basically, if you’re not Italian in some fashion or another, you will never be allowed to officially join the Family.

And don’t even think about trying to put one over on them, because, apparently, they will find out. Long before tracing your ancestry became fashionable, the Mob was making double-sure they could track down any prospect’s relations in Sicily. No Sicilians in the family, no dice. You have, in no uncertain terms, been warned.

Or, as Wham! once put it, there ain’t no such word as no. According to the Family code, if a made man asks you to do something, you have to do it. Whether you disagree or just think the task is impossible, it doesn’t matter.

The Godfather, perhaps, says it best. “Among reasonable men, problems of business could always be solved." And that’s before you’d even officially joined the organization. Clearly, legitimate businessmen value loyalty and knowing their orders won’t ever be questioned. And as with all the rules, you break them at your own risk.

First, let us put your minds at rest. Despite the title, it’s not as ominous as it sounds. But even potential Family members who make it to the final stage can still wash out. Before they can officially call themselves made men, applicants must pass a test set by their superiors.

Whatever the task set for the initiate may be, they must accept to stand a chance of being made. If they don’t complete the task to the made men’s satisfaction, though, it’s over. And not just the test, the whole application is binned. No do-overs. No re-applying. That’s it for life. So basically, don’t fail.

Let’s say you waited your turn, took your orders and passed the final test with flying colors. Finally, your Family of choice is ready to welcome you with open arms. But what if another Family altogether objects to you joining the organization?

Well, to put it bluntly, you’re done. Passing the test matters not a jot. Neither does loyalty, bringing in money, or being the best darn mobster they’ve ever seen. Why? Each Family is allowed to confirm or veto any and all new arrivals. And if you’re vetoed by even one of them, it’s a black mark against you — which means you’re out.

For the Mafia, silence isn’t just golden: it’s a requirement of the job. Yes, keeping your mouth shut is considered so essential to the organization that they even have a special word for it: “omerta”. Roughly translated as “the code of silence,” it’s something all made men and their associates must follow.

Omerta is so important to the Mob, it’s almost sacred. No matter what’s happening, or how much jail time you’re facing, you keep your mouth shut. Comply, and in time, you’ll be rewarded. Punishment for breaking the code is, quite simply, death. Or at best Witness Protection, if notorious Goodfella Henry Hill’s autobiography is any guide.

As you may have noticed, the hiring process for the Mob is incredibly complicated, nuanced and more than a little convoluted. But it gets even more interesting than you think, because, even if a potential Family-member passes the test and has the approval of all the Families, there’s one last hurdle they have to clear before it’s official.

This particular initiation rite is steeped in secrecy but is vital to completing the journey to made man. Known as “Taking the oath”, the exact steps are unique to each Family, but can include drops of blood and setting images of saints on fire. But, you guessed it, if the potential fails to perform the ritual to perfection, it’s over.

If Mob movies are to be believed, there’s an enormous amount of money to be made by legitimate businessmen and their associates. But, in the real world, there’s always a catch. And in the Mob, that catch is all about cash.

No matter how much a made man is making, or how high in the organization they climb, they never get to keep it all. A cut of any money made has to go to the boss. That’s non-negotiable. And as with all the rules, non-compliance can be very dangerous. Of course, the higher you climb, the bigger your percentage, so playing the long game often pays off.

Anyone who’s ever seen The Godfather Part II will most likely be aware of this particular old-school rule, and we’re not talking about tuxes after 5pm. It’s the sage advice, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” As Don Corleone very astutely points out, in their organization “business is business and reasonable men can always find a solution.”

And if you can’t find a solution… Keep a very close eye on them. On the DL, natch. And if you’re wondering how accurate The Godfather books and movies are, the fact that mobsters love them should tell you all you need to know. If not, well, author Mario Puzo swears they’re accurate. So, you know, reasonable men and such.

It’s another of those honor-among-Family-members rules that involve unquestioning loyalty and a can-do attitude. No matter the issue at hand, the Family’s decision is always right: it’s Mob law. And, to be fair, there’s a logic to that in theory. In practice, though, it can cause some issues.

And the reason for those real-world issues is simple. Whether a legitimate businessman is having issues with the law or his in-laws, his neighbors or his associates, what the Family says, goes. And if they just happen to disagree with his wife/mother/conscience… Well, that man has a very difficult time ahead indeed.

This is perhaps the most important rule for any prospective or even fully embedded Family member. Never, ever disrespect a made man. And we mean never — at least, not in public, anyway. And that’s a rule of which Colombo Family underboss Michael Franzese once had first-hand experience.

As Franzese wrote in his book, upsetting Mob bosses had real-world implications, such as the time his friend had a run-in with a made man we’ll call Mario over a car. “I knew the rules,” he wrote. “There was no toleration for disrespecting a made man. Consequences were severe.” Luckily for his friend, Franzese was able to talk Mario out of the hit — but you might not get so lucky. So, whether it’s a business strategy, a legal issue, or how much it’s raining, be gracious. Because reasonable men always get along, capisce?