Nicole Kidman Has Finally Opened Up About The Pain She Suffered During Her Marriage To Tom Cruise

Nicole Kidman may be a beautiful and talented star, but her life hasn’t always been easy. After she married Tom Cruise in 1990, for example, she experienced some trials and tribulations that she mainly kept to herself. Kidman and Cruise divorced in 2001, however, and perhaps the passing of time has helped the actress to speak out about how painful her time with her ex-husband actually was.

Kidman’s career since divorcing Cruise, meanwhile, has gone from strength to strength. In 2002 she won a Best Actress Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours; since then, she’s also received two other nominations for her work in Rabbit Hole and Lion. Kidman’s personal life seems to have improved, too, as she has been married since 2006 to musician Keith Urban.

And by all appearances, Kidman and Urban have a successful relationship, judging by their showings of affection for each other on social media. What’s more, even though Kidman’s career more or less eclipses Urban’s, the country singer is consistently supportive of his wife. After Kidman’s HBO series Big Little Lies turned out to be a massive hit, for instance, Urban told Australian talk show Sunrise how proud he was of her.

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But it wasn’t always that way for Kidman. Before she married Urban, she was the wife of Tom Cruise – and he was very much the more famous of the pair throughout their marriage. In fact, it was Cruise who gave the actress one of her big breaks with the movie Days of Thunder. After watching Kidman in 1989’s Dead Calm, the Top Gun star convinced the Thunder producers to cast her as his love interest in the film.

Days of Thunder came out in 1990, and that same year Kidman and Cruise were married. “[Cruise] basically swept me off my feet,” Kidman would remark in a 2002 interview with Vanity Fair. “I fell madly, passionately in love. And as happens when you fall in love, my whole plan in terms of what I wanted for my life — I was like, ‘Forget it. This is it.’”

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However, Kidman and Cruise’s wedding would be very much tied up with the Church of Scientology; Cruise was already well involved in the religion by then. In addition, the church’s head, David Miscavige, served as best man to the Top Gun star.

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Then, after the wedding, Kidman badly wanted to have children with Cruise. But it wasn’t to be, and so, after some fertility issues, the couple decided to adopt. “My mother has an adopted sister, so it’s been part of our family and I knew it would probably play out somewhere in mine. I didn’t think that it would happen so early but it did,” Kidman said in a 2007 interview with Vanity Fair.

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The pair therefore adopted two children: a girl called Bella in 1993 and a boy called Connor in 1995. The siblings were raised in the Hollywood lifestyle as they grew up, with their parents starring in big movies like Mission: Impossible, Jerry Maguire and Batman Forever. Kidman and Cruise also appeared in a film together in 1999 – the erotic drama Eyes Wide Shut.

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But in February 2001, Hollywood’s golden couple suddenly announced their separation. “Citing the difficulties inherent in divergent careers which constantly kept them apart, they concluded that an amicable separation seemed best for both of them at this time,” the pair announced through spokesperson Pat Kingsley in a statement.

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After that bombshell had hit, speculation then began as to what had happened to drive Kidman and Cruise apart. One media source claimed that the split was due in part to Kidman wanting to spend more time in her home country of Australia, while Cruise wished to stay in the U.S. It was also alleged that the root cause of the breakup was Scientology and Kidman’s refusal to become fully immersed in the religion.

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And rumors additionally spread that the film Eyes Wide Shut and its intensely difficult shooting schedule had been a big nail in the coffin for the pair. However, Kidman debunked that idea to The Hollywood Reporter in 2012. “People thought that making the film was the beginning of the end of my marriage,” she wrote. “But I don’t really think it was. Tom and I were close then.”

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But whatever the true reason for the split, it appeared that the infertility problems that Kidman had suffered during her marriage to Cruise had taken their toll on the actress. In 2007, just a few years after the divorce, Kidman talked to Marie Claire magazine about what had happened. “I had a miscarriage at the end of my marriage, but I had an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of my marriage. It was incredibly traumatic for me,” she said.

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Luckily, things did get better for Kidman in that regard. After marrying Keith Urban in 2006, she had two more children, both girls – one born through surrogacy. The first came along in 2008 and the second in 2010. And in 2018, as Kidman’s two daughters were growing up, the actress spoke to Tatler magazine regarding the impact of all that she’d been through.

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Kidman talked, for example, about how she had wanted a baby so badly. “I know the yearning. That yearning. It’s a huge, aching yearning,” she said. “And the loss! The loss of a miscarriage is not talked about enough. That’s massive grief to certain women.” Having been through both, Kidman is well-versed in that kind of pain.

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“There’s an enormous amount of pain and an enormous amount of joy on the other side,” the star went on. “The flipside of going through so much yearning and pain to get there is the feeling of ‘Ahhhh!’ when you have the child.” She also mentioned in the interview that she believes mothers are mothers regardless of whether their children are adopted or biological.

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Furthermore, Kidman discussed how terribly lonely she’d felt once her divorce from Cruise had gone through – despite the fact that her career was in the ascendance. Even while holding her Oscar for The Hours a year after the split, she had felt lost. She had still wanted to have a baby, she told the magazine – perhaps as a single mother.

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Then, at one point in the Tatler piece, the interviewer shared a personal story with Kidman. They wrote, “When I tell her that I also went through a divorce and also experienced issues with fertility, she is immediately empathetic. ‘And you were shattered?’ she asks, as if she knows only too well what that’s like.” It was a telling paragraph about the actress.

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Of course, Kidman’s ex-husband went on to have his first biological child just a few years after the pair’s divorce: Suri, the daughter he shares with wife Katie Holmes. However, that marriage didn’t last for Cruise, either. In 2012 Holmes filed for divorce from Cruise and gained primary custody of Suri. And, once again, rumors spread that Scientology had destroyed a Cruise marriage.

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However, regarding Kidman and Cruise, it is a sad fact that infertility and miscarriages can affect marriages very negatively indeed. In 2014 a study was undertaken in Denmark which concluded that couples who could not conceive a child after fertility treatment were thrice as likely to split up than couples who could.

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But Kidman went through all of that and came out the other side. She appears to be very happy with her life as it stands, too, and can now boast of having four children – both biological and adopted. Plus, the star’s career continues to thrive, with a new season of Big Little Lies in the pipeline and upcoming movie projects like Aquaman. Suffice to say, then, Kidman has come a long way.

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