He’s Deadpool, he’s Van Wilder, he’s Hannibal King and he’s the Green Lantern (unfortunately). He’s been buried, possessed by a vengeful ghost, helped Sandra Bullock get a green card and tazed Andy Samberg in the butt. But Ryan Reynolds’ greatest role to date? That of the sometimes doting – but always hilarious – dad.
That’s right: despite the continuous film roles and movie mayhem, Reynolds still finds time to be a committed husband and father. But one cursory look at his Twitter shows that he does these things in the most quintessentially Ryan Reynolds way possible.
Reynolds and wife Blake Lively welcomed their first child, a girl named James, in December 2014. And by the looks of it, Reynolds’ kids grow up pretty damn fast.
That’s hardly surprising, though, considering that Reynolds obviously prefers the Ancient Spartan approach to hands-on parenting. Either that or he’s been watching too many films. Weird, disturbing films that you can only buy on the dark web.
Of course, it could be that in actual fact, Reynolds’ home life is a little bit closer to his movies than any of us ever realized. Indeed, in this instance, it seems like it might share more than a few parallels with Blade: Trinity. Still sounds more worthwhile and entertaining than that film, though.
In either case, Reynolds is still a jet-setting actor, and that lifestyle is notoriously hard to map around being a parent. It can be so hard, in fact, that sometimes you question the very utility of your genitals.
Yes, one of Reynolds’ favourite pastimes appears to be extolling the joys of fatherhood to the tweeting masses. Although the actor can never seem to get more than halfway through his 140-character allocation before those joys turn to horrors.
That being said, this is the man who first emerged on our screens as a hard drinking, sex-obsessed, graduation-shy college student. And so if he’s anything like his Van Wilder character, he’s not exactly a dynamite role model. We suspect he’s a little more mature than that nowadays, however…
Of course, though, it takes two to tango. And although he had a high-profile relationship with singer Alanis Morissette – and a short-lived marriage to Scarlett Johansson – it was actress Blake Lively that he eventually settled down with. The two met on the set of Green Lantern and got hitched in 2012.
It’s hard not to wonder, then, what Lively makes of his caustic asides on the realities of fatherhood. But hey, at least this dad is willing to take on the dirtier jobs involved…
Not to mention that he’s taken such an active interest in his daughter’s life that he’s already enrolled her in extra-curricular activities. And it sounds as if she’s already going to kick butt before she even reaches kindergarten.
Little James, moreover, is also getting an opportunity to see the world, one that other parents just wouldn’t be able to offer. The real question is, though, whether she’ll drive her father to the brink of madness before she’s old enough to drive herself.
Sanity notwithstanding, it seems like Reynolds is gradually fashioning himself into a wise, worthy guru for expecting parents out there. He’s even adding “children’s book author” to his already impressive CV.
And currently, James is fast approaching her second birthday, a major milestone in the life of a child and that of a parent. Especially if she might not see one of those parents again until she’s in high school.
Even if that’s the case, she could still be stuck with a number of unpleasant duties when Reynolds is old. And so it’s probably wise for her to get her jibes and grotesque physical assaults in while she has the chance.
And, apparently, reminding his daughter of his own impending death is something Reynolds takes a lot of pleasure in. Actually, you have to wonder if he’s ever shown her scenes involving him dying in a film, just to hammer the point home.
The important thing to remember through all this, though, is that Reynolds is likely an amazing father who loves his daughter more than anything else. Even his hair. Well, perhaps not his hair. Close second, though.
And often movie stars struggle to settle into a relaxed, responsible lifestyle once they get married and have kids. Given that Reynolds has played as many party animals as he has, you would think he’d be the same. Evidently, though, he’s caught somewhere between the two.
Still, things are about to get a bit crazier for Reynolds and Lively, as in September 2016 they introduced a second daughter to the household. There’s been no word on a name yet – gender appropriate or otherwise – but the real question is: how hard is Papa Reynolds freaking out right now?
Only time will tell how he deals with two daughters in the house, then. But we imagine he’s already got plenty to be getting on with. And as it’s 2016, teaching your infant child about the wonders of technology is a good starting point.
A cultural upbringing is also crucially important. The right films, music and other such surroundings can really mold a person. And it’s also vitally important to make it abundantly clear what an a**hole is, and whether or not they’re being one.
Ultimately, then, things look bright for the young couple. And in a showbiz world full of sordid affairs and broken Brangelinas, it’s nice to see a pair who seem to have things figured out. Well, it would be, if Reynolds hadn’t left his family to find his muse.