Ellen DeGeneres Made An Emotional Confession About The State Of Her Marriage

The marriage between Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi appears on the surface like a strong, healthy one. And yet there seems to constantly be eyebrow-raising rumors about the state of their relationship. Are any of them accurate? Well now, thanks to a People magazine interview, we have the truth from the mouth of the TV talk show host herself.

The People interview was released on February 10, 2021 – just a few days out from Valentine’s Day. It was part of a special edition of the magazine called “the Love Issue.” In addition to Ellen and Portia, the equally famous couples of Mary Steenburgen-Ted Danson and Al Roker-Deborah Roberts were interviewed.

Writing in the issue itself, People editor Dan Wakeford explained the purpose of getting those couples in front of an interviewer. He wrote that because of the recent stressful lockdowns – situations that changed some relationships for either better or worse – “it seemed more pertinent than ever to celebrate love.”

Wakeford argued that throughout 2020 the new normal had “redefined our relationships” but “our loved ones have picked us up when we are down, shared the extra work that comes from being at home more … and helped keep romance alive.” He added, “If you’re single, we hope that our stories will bring you hope and inspiration that love will find you.”

People magazine described its celebrity subjects as “three Hollywood couples who’ve stayed the course.” But considering there’s been a lot of scandalous news about Ellen recently, was it a wise idea including her and Portia? Well, it did at least give the comedienne a chance to tell her side of the story.

Ellen and Portia sat down for a photoshoot and a video interview. Throughout it all they looked very happy, as if they had the perfect marriage despite everything. But were they really? Well, Ellen had a lot to say about the “picked us up when we are down” aspect of the relationship.

For a long time now Ellen and her wife have seemed to have a downright enviable slice of married life. There’s never been a single public spat. There have been plenty of rumors in the media about fights, impending divorces and the like, but Ellen and Portia have always firmly denied them.

People’s reporting of the relationship back in 2013 had taken an entirely different tone. Back then, its article was headlined “Ellen DeGeneres Addresses Rumors of Trouble in Her Marriage.” At that point Ellen and Portia had been married for five years. They’d had a strong relationship before tying the knot, but they couldn’t wed until same-sex marriage was legalized.

Ellen jokingly played down reports of marriage trouble in December of that year. She had been in a hair salon and had found a tabloid lying around, she said on her show, and “it caught my eye because Portia and I were in the top right-hand corner and I thought, ‘Oh, that’s sweet, they’re honoring us.’ And then I read the headline underneath and it said ‘Ellen and Portia’s Marriage Crumbles.’”

Though Ellen doesn’t like “letting that energy in” when it comes to gossip about her, she couldn’t help but pick up the tabloid and see what was going on. She joked to her audience, “So I get the magazine and I’m flipping through it and there’s one page torn out. The only page torn out was my story… I will never know what’s tearing my marriage apart.”

Ellen then said of the story, “It’s so ridiculous to me. There’s not one ounce of truth to any of it. I am very happily married. The only thing we ever argue about is who loves who more.” Though the later Ellen and Portia interview indicates that maybe that last bit had been an exaggeration.

No matter what, there always seemed to be rumors that the Ellen-Portia marriage was on the rocks. Portia spoke about that to Us Weekly magazine in 2018, but she had quite an optimistic perspective on things. She said, “The divorce rumors came and then we really knew the perceptions [of same-sex couples] had changed.”

Portia went on, “I’m not kidding. I know it sounds ridiculous, but when that started happening I thought, ‘Oh, now we’re finally accepted.’” It wasn’t even just split rumors. She added, “I thought, ‘Wow, this is great that I’m pregnant, not pregnant, divorced, not divorced, whatever.’ That means there is an acceptance for this.”

But then things got harder a couple of years down the line. In 2020 some ex-employees of Ellen alleged that the set had been a “toxic” work environment, and it evolved into a pretty big scandal. Though the host herself wasn’t said to be the source of the troubles, it was a blow to her image.

One unnamed person said that Ellen needed to pay more attention to her employees. They told the website Buzzfeed, “If she wants to have her own show and have her name on the show title, she needs to be more involved to see what’s going on. I think the executive producers surround her and tell her, ‘Things are going great, everybody’s happy,’ and she just believes that, but it’s her responsibility to go beyond that.”

Ellen had to issue a statement about the problem. During the Season 18 premiere of her show she told the audience, “As you may have heard, this summer there were allegations of a toxic work environment at our show and then there was an investigation. I learned that things happened here that never should have happened. I take that very seriously and I want to say I am so sorry to the people who were affected.”

The whole headline-grabbing incident kick-started a brand new wave of rumors about the Ellen-Portia marriage. At the end of 2020 the magazine New Idea claimed that the relationship was pretty much over, and furthermore that Ellen had gone so far as to buy a new home without her wife’s knowledge.

An anonymous source alleged that the couple’s regular home was “a war zone.” They also claimed that Ellen was frequently lashing out and “Portia’s getting the worst of it. Nothing she does is right. They’ve not agreed on any big decisions all year, including Portia being offered her own online cooking show and Ellen refusing.”

The alleged insider went on, “Now it looks like Ellen’s show’s done and she’s planning three new shows and completely keeping [Portia] in the dark. She doesn’t know what’s going on with the old show, the new shows, the house, not a thing – and especially not what’s going on in Ellen’s head.”

Yet the website Gossip Cop debunked this story, writing, “As we pointed out in our recent investigation of another tabloid report that said the comedian was moving out of her shared home, the two were just filming a new show starring de Rossi — so much for Ellen keeping her wife ‘in the dark.’”

So it seemed that rumor wasn’t true, but then another one started flying around. This one involved a whole separate person – Anne Heche, Ellen’s ex-girlfriend. In October 2020 the Entertainment Weekly TV show had asked her whether she might meet up with Ellen again one day, and the actress implied she would like that.

This prompted the National Enquirer newspaper to run a story about Portia’s apparent jealousy and anger about an ex coming into the picture. An anonymous source told the tabloid, “She believes Anne is using Ellen to drum up publicity for herself. But Portia’s indicated any dreams of any kind of reunion will remain a fantasy as long as she’s around!”

The source went on to reference the workplace scandal. They said, “Portia has proven she is committed to Ellen – despite all the hits to her image. Anne may dream of a reunion and think she has a chance, given Ellen’s recent vulnerable state, but it will never happen as long as Portia has breath in her body!”

But was any of that true? Almost certainly not. Aside from anything else, what Anne had said about Ellen didn’t indicate anything romantic at all. They hadn’t spoken in years, she said, but she would happily appear on her talk show because, in her own words, “It would be interesting to see us come face-to-face.”

So there’s a lot of gossip out there about Ellen and Portia, especially since the scandal of Ellen broke. But is there any truth at all to the rumors that it strained their relationship? The TV host revealed a lot in the interview she and her wife did with People magazine.

Yes, there had been arguments, the couple revealed. But not the “war zone”-type ones alleged in the media. Portia said that whenever they did fight, “at some point Ellen just looks at me and like, makes a funny face at me.” That would break the tension, the former actress said, and after that they could “unpack it.”

Portia said, “I know resolving conflict is really important for a couple,” and Ellen appeared to completely agree. She said, “You know, we obviously have had arguments, but we really don’t argue that often. It’s so rare that we do and when we do it’s just from whatever’s going on. It’s not usually directly about the other person.”

Ellen went on, “It’s usually one of us taking it out on the other because we’re the only one to take it out on… And then you just kind of start talking about it, because it never really is about what you think you’re fighting about. It’s just stress and it’s coming out. We both know that and have learned that that’s what it is. We talk things out and we’re completely honest with one another all the time.”

And Ellen had more to explain about how the earlier scandal had affected their relationship. In front of the People cameras she said, “I couldn’t have gone through everything I went through without her. It was a horrible time in my life, and she was a rock. She kept me going and tried to help me put things in perspective.”

Fans of the couple might well have breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that. Indeed, the reaction to the magazine piece was a very positive one. In the comments of the YouTube video People posted of the full interview, people shared stories about how much the celebrity marriage meant to them.

One person wrote, “Always loved Ellen. Now I love Portia too. You both make a beautiful couple. Thanks for sharing a little part of yourselves with us.” Another said, “No matter what the gossip says, these two women were role-models for me when I was younger and the positive effect they had is something that’ll never change.”

The couple dropped a few other interesting details about their marriage in the People interview. Portia said that whenever the two of them were apart and traveling, Ellen “has the hotel put rose petals in the shape of a love heart on my bed. Every single time over the last 16 years. And it always catches me off-guard.”

The younger woman went on, rubbing her wife’s leg, “And then on top of it she’ll stick a note in my toiletry bag or in my luggage, just, you know, wishing me luck or telling me I’m great or whatever it is that she thinks will be encouraging. She’s a very, very special human being.” Awww.

Portia also credited Ellen with helping her accept her own sexuality. She remembered that upon meeting her, she thought the TV host was “the coolest, most fascinating, beautiful, funniest person I’ve ever met.” Yet she “just knew that being with her would be a bit of a thing for me, so we didn’t get together after that for about three years.”

But then, Portia said, “I just got to a point where I chose love over anything else. This was a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. And Ellen really did help me through it just by being there and making me feel more comfortable about who I am – like there was nothing wrong with being gay. I think that’s the first time in my life I felt that was true.”

Portia said, “We’ve grown together as a couple, and we really consider each other and put our relationship first. By doing that, you become a lot more solid. I can’t imagine spending time with anyone but her.” Ellen cut in with, “We think the same things, say the same things at the same time, finish each other’s sandwiches – no, sentences.”

Ellen absolutely raved about her wife to People. In fact, she couldn’t even pinpoint the single thing she loved most about her. She said, “I really love everything about her. To start superficially, I love the way she looks, because that’s where it started. You have to look at somebody all the time, so I was already attracted to her.”

The TV host went on, her wife right next to her, “And I love her brain, I love the way she thinks; she’s smart – that’s really important. She’s strong, she’s confident, she’s really funny, she’s a good dresser and a good dancer, she’s learning to cook…It’s just ridiculous but I love everything about her.”

Upon hearing those sweet statements, Portia laughed and snuggled up to her wife. She said, “Wow, how do I top that? She is the kindest, most generous, most loving, loyal, trustworthy person I have ever known. She’s a very special human being. Some of it sometimes rubs off on me.”

Ellen and Portia have an exciting year ahead of them. The comedienne is continuing her hosting duties, and has the contest show Ellen’s Next Great Designer coming up as well. Her wife is keeping herself busy with her art and publishing company. Hopefully there will be no more workplace scandals, but if there are, it seems Ellen and Portia will always stand by each other.