In September 2019 Demi Moore released her frank and often eye-opening memoir Inside Out. And the Ghost star didn’t hold back in the book, either – especially when it came to certain aspects of her personal life. But if you assumed that Moore’s marriage to ex-husband Ashton Kutcher was off-limits, you’d be wrong. In fact, when the actress chose to open up about her time with Kutcher, she wasn’t shy about making some shocking revelations.
And at times, Inside Out makes for harrowing reading. In the book, Moore claimed, for example, that at 15 she had been raped by a man who had then given money to her alcoholic mother as “payment.” Of the incident, the star added chillingly, “It was rape and a devastating betrayal revealed by the man’s cruel question: ‘How does it feel to be whored by your mother for $500?’” Unsurprisingly, she spiralled downwards as a result of the trauma, abusing drugs and alcohol while striving to become an actress.
But Moore only realized that what had happened to her was a terrible violation after she had wed Kutcher. While promoting Inside Out in 2019, she told The Wall Street Journal, “I had always just thought of myself as being stupid for putting myself in that position [and] that it was genuinely my fault.”
On the upside, things seemed to get better for Moore after she met Kutcher. Famously, the stars tied the knot in 2005, after which they began working together on a number of worthwhile projects. For instance, in 2009 the couple created the Demi and Ashton Foundation, which aimed to combat child sex slavery. Notably, the organization’s first campaign was called “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls.”
But, unfortunately, Kutcher didn’t turn out to be Moore’s happy ending. As many followers of celebrity comings and goings know, the pair separated in 2011, with their divorce becoming official two years after. And Kutcher and Moore cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the split – an explanation that gave little insight into why the marriage had actually ended. The actress was more forthcoming, however, in her memoir.
Kutcher was in fact Moore’s third husband. At the age of 18, she had wed a singer called Freddy Moore – the man from whom she had taken her last name – although that alliance would ultimately last for only three years. Then, in 1987, she had married fellow actor Bruce Willis, with the couple going on to have three daughters together: Rumer, Scout and Tallulah.
And while Moore also divorced Willis in 2000, the split was apparently amicable. Interestingly, Moore mused in her memoir that she and her Die Hard actor spouse had been “more passionate about having kids than [they had been] about being married.” She claimed, however, that she was “very proud” of the way in which she and Willis had ended their union. And it seemed that the stars remained on good terms, too, as Willis was actually present when Moore married Kutcher five years later.
The Moore-Kutcher relationship caught the attention of the media, too, with much made of the fact that there was a 15-year age gap between the That ’70s Show star and the woman who would become his wife. And in 2005 Kutcher even excitedly declared his love for Moore during an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, “I love being with her. She makes me a better person,” the actor said of his partner. But, of course, the happiness didn’t last.
Yes, in 2011 Moore announced that the couple were separating. And any hopes that they might reconcile were shattered the following year when Kutcher started divorce proceedings – a process that was finalized in 2013. Not wasting much time, Kutcher then went on to another high-profile celebrity relationship, wedding actress Mila Kunis in 2015. So, what had gone so wrong after an apparently great start?
Well, in her memoir, Moore mused on how public and scrutinized her relationship with Kutcher had been. “[Ashton] later confessed that if he’d fully grasped what it would be like, he might never have gotten involved with me,” she wrote. But that was far from the only thing she had to say about him.
Moore alleged, too, that Kutcher had enticed her to drink alcohol again – despite knowing that she had struggled to get sober. Moore had first kicked her substance abuse issues during the filming of St. Elmo’s Fire, when a counselor who had been funded by the movie’s producers had helped her get clean. So, what had Kutcher supposedly done to tempt the actress off the straight and narrow?
Well, Moore claimed in her memoir, “One night, [Ashton and I] put some clothes on and went out to dinner. Ashton was enjoying a glass of good red wine when he said, ‘I don’t know if alcoholism is a real thing. I think it’s all about moderation.’ I wanted to be that girl. The girl who could have a glass of wine at dinner or do a tequila shot at a party.”
The actress added, “In my mind, Ashton wanted that, too. So I tried to become that: a fun, normal girl. I didn’t think, ‘This is a kid in his 20s who has no idea what he’s talking about.’ I didn’t think, ‘I have nearly two decades of sobriety under my belt, and that’s a huge accomplishment.’ Instead, I cast about for justifications for his argument.”
So, Moore claimed, she had begun drinking again that night. Looking back, the star realized that she may even have developed an unhealthy dependence on Kutcher himself during that time. “I was addicted to him, is the best way I can put it,” she noted in the book. In fact, Moore explained that she had inadvertently put Kutcher first to such an extent that her daughters became estranged from her. And there was more heartache to come.
In Inside Out, Moore revealed that she had once experienced a miscarriage. And, apparently, Kutcher had popped the question only a month and a half after finding out that she was pregnant. “He asked me to go down to the beach to watch the sunset, and then he got down on one knee and presented me with a beautiful vintage Cartier ring,” Moore wrote. “I was overwhelmed.” But that grand gesture nevertheless presented her with a dilemma.
“I told [Ashton] I needed to think about it. I didn’t want him to feel he had to marry me just because I was pregnant,” Moore wrote. “But I loved him. And I knew he loved me. And I knew this baby would cement our family [and] bond us all on the deepest level. By the end of the night, I’d said yes.”
Planning ahead as expectant mothers do, Moore also picked out a name for the baby-to-be. But tragedy was right around the corner. The star explained in her memoir, “Almost six months into my pregnancy – right at the moment when we were going to start telling everyone – we went to the doctor’s office. He did his usual ultrasound, but this time there was no heartbeat. I registered the deadly silence – instead of the now-familiar thump, thump, thump, thump of Chaplin’s little heart – and saw the look on my doctor’s face.” And as you may imagine, the miscarriage had a terrible effect on Moore.
Heartbreakingly, the actress wrote, “If you have never lost a baby, you may think of a miscarriage as not that big a deal. It’s hard to remember, but I’m sure I used to feel that way too: like it was a bit of medical misfortune, a disappointing but not devastating setback.” However, she added, “But when it is your baby, who you already love and think of as a member of your immediate family, it doesn’t feel like a minor defeat. It feels like your child has died.”
And of her then-husband, Moore explained, “Ashton did his best to connect with me in my grief. He tried to be there for me during the miscarriage, but he couldn’t really understand what I was feeling. First of all, he hadn’t carried this baby. And second, he was in his twenties at the time; he wasn’t remotely late to the game of fatherhood. His possibilities were not running out – far from it.”
Still, Moore was desperate to have a child with Kutcher. “Intellectually, I knew that one can connect with a baby on the deepest level without carrying her,” she wrote. “But, emotionally, I wanted to have that experience with Ashton. Just as I wanted to be the carefree girl who could have a casual drink, I wanted to be the fertile woman who could have his baby.” Unfortunately, though, things didn’t improve for Moore from there.
The star had still wanted another child, and so – with Kutcher’s blessing – she began looking for an egg donor. “I started scouring the agency lists for the right fit, sharing the most promising prospects with Ashton and hearing his thoughts,” Moore later explained. Then, devastatingly, there was an unexpected change of plan.
After Moore had found a donor, you see, Kutcher told her that he didn’t want that after all. “I asked him why he’d let me research a donor, go through this painful prolonged process and make myself vulnerable in this way if he wasn’t up for it,” Moore wrote. “His response was simple: ‘I never thought you’d go through with it.’”
So, the actress spiralled downwards once again and began drinking. And on her 45th birthday, she wrote, she had nearly drowned in a hot tub. Moore claimed, “I started passing out and slipping under the water… Ashton carried me back to our bed, and he was furious. To some extent, I understand his reaction. If this had been the first time something like this had happened, that would have been one thing – but it wasn’t.”
Yet as Moore continued to explain, she didn’t feel as though she was the only one to blame for her latest alcohol addiction. She wrote, “It was also confusing: Ashton had encouraged me to go in this direction. When I went too far, though, he let me know how he felt by showing a picture he’d taken of me resting my head on the toilet the night before. It seemed like a good-natured joke at the time – but it was really just shaming.”
What’s more, the Indecent Proposal actress was so set against losing her marriage that she agreed to have threesomes with Kutcher. “I wanted this marriage to work, and I was willing to do whatever it took – to jump through any hoop,” she wrote. “So when he expressed his fantasy of bringing a third person into our bed, I didn’t say no.”
Once more, that decision was motivated by the actress trying to please her husband. “I wanted to show him how great and fun I could be,” Moore revealed in Inside Out. “Having other people in our marriage presented a totally false sense of power and an absolutely temporary sense of excitement.”
And while Moore kept the names of the individuals involved to herself, she did have positive words to say about them both. “There were two different people we opened our relationship to, and they didn’t have bad intentions; they held it in the right space,” she explained. “To this day, I know I could reach out to either of them for friendship; one is now married and has a kid.”
In fact, Moore mused, “They were good people, but it was still a mistake. Part of the point of monogamy is the energy of somebody making the sacrifice or the choice for you, and that you thereby hold this special place that no one else can have. As soon as another person is brought in, you are no longer being held in that sacred spot.”
But the Moore-Kutcher marriage apparently broke down irretrievably after one final act of betrayal. Yes, in her memoir, Moore had one more revelation to make: that Kutcher had cheated on her with a younger woman. “Ashton had slept with a 21-year-old, in our home, while I was out of town,” she wrote.
Moore alleged, “I remember the night [that Ashton and the 21-year-old] met. We were at a bowling alley with Rumer, and when he went to switch our shoes, she gave him her number on a napkin. Or that’s what he told me at the time. When we got home that night and he showed it to me, I said, ‘That is just gross. We were there with our kid, and she was there with her mother and her sister!’ I had a visceral response — it was revulsion. So, the fact that he then pursued her felt like a real ‘f**k you.’”
Moore went on, “Because we had brought a third party into our relationship, Ashton said that blurred the lines and to some extent justified what he’d done. I think he felt remorse, but he was also looking for a way to deflect blame – to maintain his own perception of himself as a decent family guy.”
Then, not long after that, Moore found out through the internet that Kutcher had allegedly cheated on her again. And, naturally, she subsequently became wary of how she would be treated in the wake of the rumor. She wrote, “I had to… go walk the red carpet praying with every step that this information hadn’t gone wide yet, that nobody would thrust a microphone in my face and ask how I felt about my husband of six years f**king a 21-year-old he’d been hanging out with in a hot tub the weekend of our anniversary. I really thought I might throw up.”
And while promoting her memoir in September 2019, Moore spoke to ABC News’ Diane Sawyer about that particular incident. “[Ashton] admitted it right away. And I think my response was, ‘Are you f**king kidding me?’” the star said. “That was it. And I think I felt like I could barely take a breath.”
It was true, too, that Moore had had to attend a Hollywood premiere right after her husband had confirmed that he’d been cheating. She couldn’t get out of the event, either, as it was being held in honor of a feature that she had directed. Moore told Sawyer, then, that she had called on her abilities of “incredible self-protection” in order to survive the party. “I often like to refer to it as my own personal Iron Man suit,” the actress added. “I can literally put it on and it’s just like – I can disassociate.”
Furthermore, the Ghost star told Sawyer, “I really know that there are parts of what occurred with this relationship ending that were a level of devastating for me that wasn’t really just about that relationship. It was really about my whole life.” At that point in her life, she had felt once more as though she was a child who “wasn’t safe.”
In fact, Moore also mentioned her sometimes traumatic upbringing in the interview with Sawyer. When asked if she believed that her mother had really sold her, she answered, “I think, in my deep heart, no. I don’t think it was a straightforward transaction. But she still – she still did give [the man] the access and put me in harm’s way.”
So, what did Kutcher have to say about his ex-wife’s string of revelations? Well, after the release of Inside Out, media outlets naturally contacted the actor for comment – although ultimately to no avail. Even so, Kutcher has since seemed to hint that he knows what has been written about him. In September 2019, for instance, he wrote on Twitter, “I was about to push the button on a really snarky tweet. Then I saw my son, daughter and wife, and I deleted it.”
However, arguably the biggest clue that Kutcher had heard Moore’s revelations lay towards the end of the tweet. There, he had typed out a phone number, adding the message “For truth text me.” Weirdly, though, people who tried the number ended up being directed to a messaging service called Community.
And according to a source who spoke to People, both Kutcher and Kunis were putting the episode behind them. “Neither is in favor of adverse publicity, but the book and Demi’s TV promotions didn’t do anything to shake their strong bond and love for each other and their children,” the insider said.
Moore’s daughter Rumer, on the other hand, has said that she’s proud of her mother for writing the book. Appearing on The Talk in October 2019, she said, “What I really respect about [my mom] is that she is never the victim in her stories… She’s allowing herself to show everyone that you can go through some really difficult, hard things, and you can still be someone who is thriving and taking accountability and just being a strong survivor.”
But Moore isn’t the only celebrity to have dropped a devastating bombshell this year, as a 2019 documentary about her Ghost co-star, Patrick Swayze, put forward some similarly stunning accusations. The late actor’s widow, Lisa Niemi, had a lot to say in the film – including some upsetting allegations involving Swayze himself. And just as had been the case with Moore’s admissions, these claims left fans reeling.