Strange Rules That Bikers Make Their Wives And Girlfriends Follow

The first thing to get straight is that no woman can ever be an actual member of an outlaw motorcycle gang. That privilege is reserved exclusively for biker dudes. So, while ladies are welcome to hang around with the big boys, they can never claim to be part of any of the clubs.

But while a woman can never officially join a biker gang, that doesn’t mean she won’t be busy. Catherine Martin, who was once married to a member of the Bandidos Motorcycle Club, told Quora that “wives or girlfriends of these men still spend a great deal of time around club members doing club stuff.”

Martin also laid out how the bikers’ women are always going to be considered “second-class citizens.” So, if their guy tells them to sit outside in the rain, they have to sit outside in the rain. To do anything else would bring shame and embarrassment on their ol’ man.

As the popular saying goes, “Snitches get stitches.” And that rule extends to the bikers and their women. So if a “Proud Bandido Old Lady” — or PBOL — hears the cops are sniffing around, they’ll know not to say anything about anyone to anyone. What goes on at the club stays at the club.

But there are some benefits to being associated with a biker gang. Why else would anyone want to join one? Besides supporting a man they love in their passion, a biker chick also gets the by-association thrill of inspiring terror and awe in regular people. “Both reactions are equally acceptable,” Martin said.

They always go on about “family” in those Fast & Furious movies, and it’s kind of the same for bikers. The idea is that your biker buddies are your nearest and dearest, and you need to drop everything if one of them ever needs you. This is just as true for the ladies as it is for the guys.

One unwritten rule is that women who live the biker lifestyle need to have strong stomachs. These gangs are ruled over by tough men running on pure testosterone, after all. There’s no democracy or policing or anything that governs a normal world. It’s a ruthless lifestyle — for everyone involved.

As their man rises through the ranks of the club, a biker woman should expect most of their spare time and money to be spent on gang stuff. Those Harley-Davidsons don’t pay for themselves! And then there are the clothes, the bike maintenance, and just being at the club as part of the crew. It all adds up.

Former PBOL Martin referred to us everyday joes as “citizens.” And as a rule of thumb, biker women will have little time for citizens. Even if they were close to other folks in their previous life, an ol’ lady should not be sacrificing time spent with the club on regular people. There are simply not enough hours in the day to keep those friendships up.

“Women must be outwardly submissive,” Martin wrote on Quora. This may seem obvious in the man’s world of biker gangs, but it’s Martin’s use of “outwardly” that’s interesting. She seems to be suggesting that while a woman must appear submissive to the guys, she should still retain her own sense of self.

Part of giving yourself over to a man’s world — according to the unwritten outlaw biker code — is turning the other cheek to sexism. “Strip clubs and dive bars were common watering holes,” Martin said on Quora. And if a biker woman doesn’t like that… Well, that’s too bad. Her feelings probably won’t be regarded anyway.

Because biker dudes rule the roost, the women in their lives must be able to bond with one another — at least a little. These wives and girlfriends are putting up with the same stuff, after all, so it makes sense that they form connections. It’s probably their best chance of keeping themselves going.

Women should never publicly show a lack of respect to any patch holder, according to Martin. And it doesn’t matter whether that biker — an official member of a motorcycle club — is their old man or only a friend. That’s just something they have to abide by.

A biker woman shouldn’t know the inner workings of a motorcycle club… but she’ll probably know enough to understand what’s what. That means she’s in a good position to be the “eyes and ears for the club,” as Martin puts it. That way, if an ol’ lady can spot the heat around the corner, she can warn her man’s crew.

And biker women should really understand what they’re letting themselves in for. That means making peace with the fact that their lifestyle could be taken away from them at the drop of a hat. Yep, if the club — or even their man — decides they’re no longer welcome, their world as they know it disappears.

A woman may not be able to be a fully-fledged member of a motorcycle gang, but she still has her own special power. Specifically, she can subtly direct her biker in one direction or another on issues within the club. The guy will get the kudos for solving any problems, of course, but the woman behind the scenes can still know that she’s played her part.

Posting under the Reddit name FormerOldLady, one ex-biker woman revealed how she was kept in the dark both publicly and privately. So, any prospective biker wife shouldn’t expect her guy to talk shop in front of her. She probably won’t get any goss behind closed doors, either.

This one may come as a surprise. If you’re part of the biker life, you’d expect to at least get to have a go on one of those Harleys, right? Well, no. Apparently, biker women are forbidden to cruise on their partners’ hogs. FormerOldLady claimed that her guy would have gotten in a whole heap of trouble if he’d let this rule be broken.

The only reason a woman is allowed to hang around a motorcycle club is because of her attachment to one of the guys. They have to be a wife or a girlfriend, or they’re not welcome. So if an ol’ lady breaks up with her man, she either has to go… or start a thing with another patch holder.

How do other bikers know whether a woman is taken? Simple: the ol’ lady is wearing a “property of” patch. Yep, it’s literally a patch that reads “property of” along with the name of the biker crew. This lets the dudes know that she is not to be messed around with — but only out of respect for her ol’ man, of course.

The rules and regulations of an outlaw biker gang govern how its ladies speak and behave. And according to motorcycle club expert James F. Quinn, that could include the women risking their livelihoods for their fellas. If a cop is threatening to shake down a gang, for example, the women may take possession of any “contraband” to conceal it from the law.

When the people in a group are as close as those in motorcycle gangs, fights inevitably break out from time to time. But while it’s one thing if the biker guys trade blows, it’s a whole other thing for the biker gals. If two women get into it, they risk finding themselves ousted from the group.

“Do not touch your man’s vest!” one anonymous ol’ lady explained on the website South Texas Biker. Why? Because that piece of clothing is hallowed. So even if the vest is stinky and dirty, a biker woman should not clean the thing without permission. Heck, she shouldn’t even lay her hands on it without asking her man first.

In fact, an ol’ lady has to be mindful of her man’s vest at all times. Is she going to be riding on her fella’s bike, holding on to him as she does? Then it’s probably a good idea for her to put on her make-up after the trip. Smudging foundation onto that sacred piece of clothing would be very bad indeed.

Pro tip: don’t wear stilettos while riding on your man’s bike. According to one biker wife, any color on those heels will likely rub off on the bike’s exhaust pipe because of the intense heat. That will result in a stained bike — and one very angry dude.

One biker wife gave a great tip to Insane Throttle in 2018. Want to get in a gang’s good books? Then make the meals for events. Not only is food a great unifier, but doing this also shows that you’re, as the ol’ lady put it, “willing to give and be a part” of the group. A biker wife should be helping the club, after all.

And one ol’ lady revealed the importance of sucking up to the veterans of a motorcycle club. Her rule is simple: “Share with your elders.” These old-timers are likely the key to having your man either accepted into or promoted within the group. Getting them on side is always going to be a good idea.

“Being kind to a point is key,” one ol’ lady said to Insane Throttle. That’s kind of standard advice for all walks of life — but it’s super-important for a biker wife. Kindness says that she and her ol’ man are people others can trust, and that’ll help them be welcomed further into the group.

The women around a motorcycle club have to set an example for the menfolk, according to one ol’ lady. If they are strong, their men will feel it. If they are supporting one another, the men will do the same. And if the women help other women in need, that feeling of togetherness will spread to the entire group.

An ol’ lady’s behavior reflects on their man — and that extends to how they hold their drink. So while a patch holder can chug back a six-pack and a couple of 40s no problem, it’s a good idea for their woman to remain fairly sober. To cross the line into obvious drunkenness is to risk damaging your ol’ man’s reputation.

According to the ol’ lady talking to Insane Throttle, an unattached woman moving from one gang member to another is called a “pass around.” And it seems that this is all A-okay… until the “pass around” approaches a guy who is already taken. That behavior’s likely to land them in all kinds of hot water.

Another good way to get in deep with a motorcycle gang is to befriend the, ahem, older ol’ ladies. These women are the property of the club’s veterans, so they’ll know everything that is worth knowing about a group and its rules. Making friends with these ladies is another way of showing respect for the club, too.

In 2015 Amy Irene White wrote a blog called “How to Behave Like a Proper Old Lady” — and it’s a subject she knows intimately. And one of the key takeaways from her piece was that women should basically “act like ladies” in the old-fashioned sense of that phrase. “Don’t sit around all spread-eagled and nasty” is how she actually puts it, though!

White reckons that part of being a “proper” ol’ lady requires a woman to look in a way her “man can be proud of.” This means having clean hair and freshly laundered clothes as well as smelling fresh and wearing make-up. Motorcycle clubs are apparently not places to be seen “looking like you just got off work at the gas station.”

Not every biker wife or girlfriend will have their own motorcycle. But if you do, you should really look after that bad boy. “The reflection in your chrome is a direct reflection on your man,” White wrote on her blog. So keep polishing until it’s perfect!

If a biker wife or girlfriend does have her own hog, she should learn how to use it properly before being seen in public. And if she’s riding with the rest of the club, she absolutely has to be at the rear. The front of the pack is only for men, of course.

It goes without saying that the men have first dibs on food at a club event. But even when the ol’ ladies get their chance at the buffet, they should watch what they eat. Having too much food can appear “slovenly and gross,” according to White. And, naturally, this will reflect poorly on your ol’ man.

Social media was not something the Hells Angels worried about when it first formed in 1948. But these days, the perils of Facebook are all too real for its members and their ol’ ladies. So, White warns that wives and girlfriends should only “be honest” about their situations. Basically, no boasting about anything that isn’t true, as the members of the club and their women will eventually see through you.

Getting ideas above your station is also a bad idea if you’re a biker wife or girlfriend. And a post on White’s blog credited to “PBOL Rose” brought this sharply to attention. Rose implores other ol’ ladies to “never act like they are something special.” The man is the patched member, not the woman.

You could argue that this is just good advice for everybody. But for the biker woman, there’s an extra wrinkle to the “don’t tell lies” mantra. Basically, the rule is that they should never deceive a patched member of the club. Lying to the police is probably okay, though. As you can imagine, the Hells Angels don’t exactly have a great relationship with the police — or any law enforcement, for that matter.