Whoopi Goldberg Revealed Her Three Marriages Went Wrong For This Reason

This is so stunning because the actress is famously protective of her privacy. She even moved to a quiet neighborhood in New Jersey to avoid public attention. In the past, she's also refused to share details of her love life, preferring instead a life of privacy. So what changed?

It’s clear something has altered her outlook. After all, the star has recently opened up about her three marriages in two extremely revealing interviews. Just in case you don’t know, by the way, her marriages were to Alvin Martin, David Claessen and Lyle Trachtenberg. But what did Goldberg have to say about the failed relationships?

Of course, Goldberg started with a bit of a joke. “The first [marriage] lasted six years,” rattled Piers Morgan during their interview. “The second one lasted two years. And the last one lasted a year.” And Goldberg quipped, “I suppose that, you know, you have to actually be in love with the person that you marry.” And even though she got the laugh, the actor would soon reveal her true feelings.

You see, Goldberg married her first husband, Alvin Martin, in 1973. During that time, the comedienne gave birth to her only child, daughter Alexandrea “Alex” Martin. But Goldberg couldn’t stay the course, and the couple split in 1979. And that’s right around the time that her career began to take off. Was that a coincidence?

Whatever the case, Steven Spielberg cast her in The Color Purple, alongside Oprah. The coming-of-age drama was a huge success, too, and it earned Goldberg an Oscar nomination. Film critic Robert Ebert describing her portrayal as “one of the most amazing debut performances in movie history.” Now that’s a good review! But things weren’t so good away from the cameras.

Goldberg was cast in a whopping seven movies between 1985 and 1988. And it was during the making of 1986 romantic comedy-drama Jumpin’ Jack Flash that she met her second husband. David Claessen, director of photography on the film, fell for its star – and the couple married later that year. But their union was to be short-lived and sadly, they parted ways only two years later.

As with her first, the actress kept largely silent about her second failed marriage. She remained tight-lipped about her year-long dalliance with former Bond star, Timothy Dalton, too. The high-profile couple dated for about a year and Dalton even accompanied Goldberg to the 1991 Oscars. She took home the Best Supporting Actress award that night for her memorable turn as loony psychic Oda Mae Brown in Ghost (1990). But poor Dalton didn’t get a mention in the acceptance speech. Awkward!

The following year saw Goldberg catapulted to superstardom with her role as a Reno lounge singer-turned nun in Sister Act. The musical romp was a box-office smash, prompting a 1993 sequel and a stage adaptation, which the actress produced and later starred in. In the same year that Sister Act 2 was released, Goldberg also appeared alongside Ted Danson in the comedy Made in America (1993).

Now, according to Hello! magazine, the co-stars had already formed a friendship after meeting on late-night talk show, The Arsenio Hall Show back in the ’80s. But during production on Made in America, love reportedly blossomed between the pair. And so began a controversial affair because you see, while Goldberg was single at the time, Danson was not. Yes, the love rat was married with two children.

While the secret couple attempted to keep their affair under wraps, word soon got out to the press and Danson’s wife, Cassandra Coates, kicked him to the curb. More specifically, she divorced him for a hefty $30 million. Yikes, now that’s an expensive break-up. What probably hurt even more was that the actor’s relationship with Goldberg only lasted 18 months after that. Media reports suggested that pressure from the Mr Mayor star’s parents was the reason behind the split. All pretty sad, really.

What’s even sadder is that it appears that Goldberg had deep feelings for her former love. Discussing their break-up, she confessed to Closer magazine, “It was really painful, and it was very public. And the loss of his friendship hurts a great deal. We can never go and have a soda, anywhere.” The Ghost star lamented, “I’m friends with almost every man I’ve gone out with, except this man.”

It’s hard to judge from the outside of course, but the actress was arguably on the rebound from Danson when she married her third husband just a year later. Goldberg wed actor Lyle Trachtenberg in October 1994 but the pair were divorced by the following year. Danson, meanwhile, married fellow movie star Mary Steenburgen after they fell in love while making Pontiac Moon the same year. More than 20 years later, the couple are still going strong.

But Goldberg bounced back and her career continued to thrive throughout the ’90s. She starred opposite Ray Liotta in the heartwarming 1994 romantic drama Corinna, Corinna and memorably voiced alpha hyena Shenzi in Disney’s The Lion King, which was released the same year. The actress was busier than ever in 1996 with a four-film run that included fantasy flick Bogus, also starring Gérard Depardieu, and Haley Joel Osment.

The comedy star played a basketball fanatic who winds up coaching the New York Knicks in her next movie, Eddie. The picture was a critical and commercial flop, but Goldberg found romance with her co-star, Frank Langella, during the production. Things got pretty serious too, as the couple lived together for five years until the relationship sadly came to an end in 2001.

So what exactly happened between the two stars? Well, we’ll never know for sure. True to form, Goldberg has kept mum about the break-up. And Langella, despite being a notorious former lothario – reportedly, he’s bedded a slew of famous women including Jackie Onassis and Rita Hayworth – has also kept silent. The Frost/Nixon actor only discusses former conquests who are no longer with us, he told U.K. newspaper The Guardian in 2013.

Meanwhile, the Sister Act star returned to Broadway in 1996, taking on Nathan Lane’s former role of Pseudolus in the Sondheim musical comedy, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Goldberg appeared opposite Angela Bassett in the romantic drama How Stella Got Her Groove Back in 1998. Then the following year she moved away from her traditional comedy form with the tense psychological drama, Girl, Interrupted, in which she played a psychiatric nurse.

Goldberg appeared in a whopping 29 movies in the 1990s; cumulatively the films grossed $1.3 billion in the U.S.A. and Canada alone. That achievement made her the hardest-working film star of the decade, with AC Nielsen EDI noting her as the actress appearing in the most theatrical films in the 1990s. Not a bad boast! But as the new millennium arrived, the star’s movie-making career began to wane.

The advent of the Noughties saw Goldberg move away from films into mostly television and stage-acting work. She hosted her own show, Whoopi, in 2003 but its dismal ratings saw it axed after only one season. And the TV personality showed her political leanings with the medical drama Strong Medicine, a show she co-created and in which she made occasional cameos. The show host also starred in the Nickelodeon kids’ mini-series, Whoopi’s Littleburg.

The actress debuted her own morning radio talk show Wake Up with Whoopi in 2006. Then a year later, she declared her retirement from film acting, citing the lack of movie scripts being sent her way as the reason. In a 2007 interview with talk show legend Larry King, the star lamented, “You know, there’s no room for the very talented Whoopi. There’s no room right now in the marketplace of cinema.”

Goldberg has popped up in a handful of movies since that announcement – for example, voicing Stretch in Toy Story 3 and appearing in For Colored Girls, both in 2010. But mostly she’s a television staple these days, sitting on The View talk show panel since she replaced Rosie O’Donnell in 2007. The TV personality has ruffled a few feathers during her time as a co-host, too. In 2010 for example, she controversially defended Mel Gibson amid the accusations of racism against him.

The star has always been pretty outspoken, and that includes her views on marriage and relationships. While for most of us, finding someone to settle down with is the ultimate goal in life, The View host revealed that it’s not for her. Yes, after keeping quiet for years on why her three marriages failed and why love had never lasted, Goldberg finally shared the truth. And it was quite an eye-opener.

The star of screens both big and small first spilled the beans in a 2011 TV episode of Piers Morgan Tonight. Quizzed by the controversial show host on her former marriages, Goldberg admitted that she had never truly loved her husbands. She told Morgan, “I suppose that, you know, you have to actually be in love with the person that you marry. You have to really be committed to them. And I’m just – I don’t have that commitment.”

The actress also confessed that she married her three husbands in an effort to fit with convention and “feel normal.” She continued, “And it seemed to me that if I was married, I’d have a... more normal life. But clearly, that’s not the case. There’s not a good reason to get married. You have to actually want a life with someone through ups and downs. And I – I just discovered that wasn’t for me.”

Heartbreakingly, she had been in love before, Goldberg told Morgan. But it seems that it wasn’t meant to be. The Ghost star wouldn’t reveal any more; only that the man in question wasn’t famous and is now married with a family. When the show host told her he was sorry it didn’t work out, Goldberg simply replied, “Lots of other things did. So I didn’t do too badly.”

The View co-host also opened up about her views on relationships to The New York Times in 2019. Speaking about the pressures on women to get married, Goldberg said, “Look, people expect you to have a boyfriend. They expect you to get married. So I kept trying to do that, but I didn’t want to share information with somebody else.”

The Sister Act star went on, “I didn’t want anybody asking me why I was doing what I was doing, or to have to make the other person feel better. But if you’re in a relationship, you have to do those things, and it took me a while to figure out that I didn’t want to.” Well, you have to give her credit for her honesty!

Echoing her earlier comments to Piers Morgan, Goldberg spoke about how the desire to settle down with another person hadn’t come naturally to her. “I’d be thinking, why don’t I feel the thing that I’m supposed to?” The TV personality continued, “Then one day I thought: I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to conform. I tried marriage, and it wasn’t for me. You can’t be in a marriage because everybody’s expecting you to.”

Flying in the face of convention, Goldberg has boldly admitted that she is more content being single. “I’m much happier on my own,” she had previously told The New York Times in another interview back in 2016. “I can spend as much time with somebody as I want to spend, but I’m not looking to be with somebody forever or live with someone. I don’t want somebody in my house.”

The outspoken star has such strong opinions on coupling – or not coupling – in fact, that she wrote a book about it. Whoopi's Big Book of Relationships: If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN! was published in 2015. And this witty, candid take on love and marriage turned out to be a bestseller. Hmm, interesting… Maybe the actress isn’t alone in bucking the only-happy-together trend.

Featuring no-nonsense chapter headings such as “You Ain’t Cinderella”, followed by “You Ain’t Prince Charming”, it’s brutally frank and terribly funny. Demonstrating the same charisma that’s made Goldberg a popular staple of the screen for so many years, she begins the book like she’s talking to a friend. “Hey! I’m really glad you picked up this book,” is the opening line.

Continuing her say-it-like-it-is candor, the actress writes, “I’m just Whoopi, who has had a lot of fun and who has made a few mistakes along the way.” She adds, “I hope to help you steer clear of the common mistakes we ALL seem to make.” And then going for all-out honesty, she writes, “I came to the conclusion that the things that are required in a relationship are not things I’m willing to do.”

Then comes the proper opening statement. A pretty powerful one, we think you’ll agree. “We’ve all been brainwashed with false expectations,” writes Goldberg, adding, “That’s right. Brainwashed.” Wow. So what exactly does The View host mean by that? Well, she moves on to a discussion about how we see animals in the wild mating for life, giving the impression that this is the natural order of things. But, the star writes, “...not every species mates for life.”

The Jumpin' Jack Flash star continues, “Anyway, as we look at these lists of who mates for life, we see that humans are nowhere to be found. I think that’s a big deal. Maybe if we knew that when we got together with someone or got married, that it didn’t have to be for life, perhaps we would be better at it.” Controversial, but thought-provoking too!

Going on to talk about how she and her brother Clyde were single-handedly raised by their mother Emma, Goldberg writes, “I felt like we were normal.” She explains, “My mother and brother gave me everything: they loved me and supported me and gave me the confidence I needed to go out in the world and do what I do.” The star goes on, “But for some reason, in today’s world, the kind of family I had isn’t considered normal.”

Well, that’s not strictly true these days. After all, single-parent households made up almost a quarter of American families, according to 2021 data published by the U.S. Census Bureau. But we digress. Goldberg explains further, “This idea of being ‘normal’ and having a so-called ‘normal’ family doesn’t really ring true for a whole lot of folks. Yet we are told that’s what we are supposed to strive for.”

The prince-meets-princess stories that we read about as kids are basically just fantasies, according to the comedienne. She writes, “For most of us, when we were little, we had this sweet idea – whether you’re a guy or a girl – that we would have this fairytale relationship.” The celebrity further noted that this make-believe coupling “would be brilliant and fantastic, and we would be perfect for each other.”

Goldberg concludes, “But it usually doesn’t work like that, does it?” Hmm, a somewhat bleak outlook on relationships maybe, but the star has a point. After all, life often doesn’t deliver the romantic ideal about which so many people dream. Goldberg just isn’t afraid to say it! Or to endorse the fact that it’s okay to choose multiple partners, or even just be single if that’s what makes you happy.

As the controversial co-host of The View pointed out to Piers Morgan, she maybe just has a different outlook to the average American. As she told the show host during her 2011 interview, “I don’t think of myself as the voice of America, but I do think that sometimes I see things from a different perspective, sometimes because of my race, sometimes because of my gender, sometimes because of my experiences.”

But the people Goldberg is completely committed to is her daughter, Alex, and her three grandchildren. As she told Morgan, “I’m committed to my family, you know, and so – hence, for that relationship has lasted, you know, the longest.” Perhaps this is partly the reason why, since her debut in 2007, Whoopi Goldberg has established herself as a favorite among fans of The View. And when the actress suddenly disappeared from the line-up in 2019, her absence was sorely felt. Fans even became very concerned for her health.

Yes, the star had first vanished from The View’s line-up in February 2019, and her month-long disappearance had gone on to spark rumors. Ultimately, though, Goldberg returned to the show from the comfort of her home in order to reveal what had really happened behind the scenes.

And it turned out that the actress had been struck down with a life-threatening illness, meaning she had spent much of her time off from The View recovering in hospital. At one point, in fact, there was even a chance that she would not survive her ordeal. So, when Goldberg finally reunited with her talk show co-stars, neither they nor the studio audience could contain their excitement.

Goldberg had first risen to fame as a comedian after enjoying success in 1984 with her one-woman project The Spook Show. That act, which deftly blended laughs with drama, saw Goldberg performing monologues in character. And The Spook Show would take Goldberg – a native New Yorker – to Broadway, from where a performance was eventually aired on HBO as Whoopi Goldberg: Direct from Broadway.

What’s more, Goldberg’s work would come to the attention of esteemed movie director Steven Spielberg, who decided to cast the actress in his 1985 film The Color Purple. The hard-hitting drama would provide Goldberg with her big break in Hollywood, with her portrayal of Celie Harris going on to earn her both a Golden Globe and a nomination at the Academy Awards.

Nor would that be the last time that Goldberg appeared on the silver screen. Memorably, the star portrayed psychic Oda Mae Brown in Ghost – a part for which she won another Golden Globe as well as the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. She also earned a Golden Globe nomination for her leading role in 1992 comedy Sister Act.

In fact, in 1993 Goldberg was the highest-earning actress in the world. Yet her movie success didn’t mean that she was averse to appearing on TV. Most notably, the Star Trek fan herself joined the cast of The Next Generation as the El-Aurian Guinan.

In recent years, however, perhaps Goldberg’s most prominent role has come courtesy of The View. The actress has starred on the talk show since 2007, when she took over from comedian Rosie O’Donnell as a moderator and co-host.

The View has aired on ABC since 1997, and over the years it has become known for its outspoken panelists – all of whom discuss the pressing issues of the day. And throughout her time on the show, Goldberg has established herself as a firm fan favorite.

In particular, Goldberg is arguably most popular with The View’s more liberal audience members. The actress herself tends to be more left-wing when it comes to politics, meaning viewers who share her beliefs may feel as though she can argue their corner against the more right-leaning panelists on the talk show.

What’s more, Goldberg has earned the respect of The View’s audience through her apparent unflappability. Yes, the star has the ability to keep her co-hosts in check when things become a little heated. And it appears that she’s happy to respect others’ opinions as well – even when they differ from her own.

Indeed, Goldberg’s role as moderator on The View has led journalist and author of Ladies Who Punch, Ramin Setoodeh, to speculate that the chat show couldn’t continue without her. In an interview with TooFab in April 2019, Setoodeh called the actress “one of the keyholders of the franchise.” He added that he believed “there will be questions about the future of The View” if Goldberg was ever to leave the show.

And in 2019 viewers got a glimpse of what The View may be like if Goldberg ever does decide to quit the series. You see, in February that year, the host suddenly disappeared from the show. Yet while co-star Joy Behar initially claimed that Goldberg had simply taken a day’s leave, things ultimately turned out to be much more serious.

Given the timing of Goldberg’s absence – in the middle of award season – there was some speculation that the actress was due to host the 91st Oscars. At that time, the Academy Awards were hostless, as Kevin Hart had previously stepped down from the gig following the controversy surrounding some historic homophobic tweets.

But that year’s Oscars came and went, and there was still no sign of Goldberg. Then during an episode of The View that aired later in February 2019, Behar announced that Goldberg was recovering after contracting pneumonia. Still, even at that point, Behar didn’t mention just how worrying the actress’ battle with the illness had been. And it wasn’t until March 2019 that Goldberg herself revealed that she had almost died.

In that month, Goldberg appeared on The View via a pre-filmed video link. And in the clip, the Oscar-nominated actress explained that not only had she been fighting pneumonia in both her lungs, but that she had also contended with an almost deadly bout of sepsis. Thankfully, though, she was finally on the mend.

In the video, which was subsequently uploaded to the The View’s YouTube channel in March 2019, Goldberg said, “I am here. I am up and moving around – not as fast as I’d like to be – but I am okay. I’m not dead.” And after reassuring her fans that she was recovering, she gave them an account of what had gone down.

Revealing just how serious her illness had been, Goldberg explained to The View’s audience, “I had pneumonia, and I was septic. Pneumonia in both lungs, which meant there was fluid – there was all kinds of stuff going on. And yes, I came very, very close to leaving the Earth. Good news [is]… I didn’t.”

Pneumonia is caused by an infection in the lungs that leads the organs to swell and take in fluid – thus limiting their function. Sepsis, meanwhile, can occur when the body reacts to an infection by causing damage to its own organs and tissues, with sufferers running the risk of breathing difficulties and liver failure. And pneumonia causes around 50 percent of all sepsis cases.

Septic pneumonia – previously referred to as “blood poisoning” – is a serious condition, and in the past it was often fatal. Even in this day and age, close to one million Americans are struck down by severe septic shock every year. And the condition remains a grave one; an individual with septic pneumonia who receives early intervention still possesses a one in five chance of succumbing to the illness.

Understandably, then, Goldberg was grateful for all the support she’d received in the wake of her health battle. Revealing her gratitude, she told The View, “Thank you for all your good wishes [and] all of the wonderful things that people have been saying. Even people who are not huge fans of mine have actually said nice things about me.”

Displaying some of her signature humor, Goldberg then joked, “We all know that’s going to change when I get back. But for right now, it’s brilliant.” Addressing her The View co-stars, she added, “Ladies, I cannot wait to see y’all. This has been interesting, and I’ll tell you about it when we’re all at the table.”

Goldberg signed off her video link by blowing a kiss to the camera and saying, “To everybody, see you soon.” However, she neglected to mention just when she was planning her return to The View. And only a little under a week after her update aired, Goldberg surprised her co-stars with a visit to the talk show’s set.

On that episode, which aired in March 2019, things had been proceeding ordinarily enough. As she had done so many times during Goldberg’s month-long absence, Behar gave viewers a brief update on her co-star’s condition before promising fans that she’d be back “soon.” However, just as she was wrapping up her tribute, Behar was interrupted by a collective shriek from the studio audience.

At that moment, a figure appeared on set. And just as The View’s panelists turned around to see who was approaching, it became clear that Goldberg had surprised them. Clearly overjoyed, Behar, Sunny Houstin, Ana Navarro, Meghan McCain and Abby Huntsman all jumped from their seats to greet their castmate.

Then, as the View stars reunited with a group hug, the audience rose to their feet and gave Goldberg a standing ovation. The actress took a seat on the panel, too, as her co-stars attempted to compose themselves following her surprise return. And as they watched on, the crowd started shouting “Whoopi” enthusiastically.

After the chorus died down, Goldberg proceeded to give The View’s audience in the studio and at home another update on her health. “This is my first foray out. I’m not there yet, you know that, but the only way it’s going to get better is if I begin. So, this is my beginning,” she explained.

Expanding on her ordeal, Goldberg revealed just how close she had come to losing her life. Gesticulating with her finger, she said, “There’s death, and here’s me. That’s how it was.” Describing the shock of her illness, Goldberg added, “You think because you’ve healed quick before that something crazy can’t happen. Well, it can – a double pneumonia and sepsis.”

And the star explained how she’d had no idea how serious things had been until she had arrived at the hospital with a temperature of 102 °F. “This is a cautionary tale for all of us,” she said. “You must really take care of yourself because there’s little, tiny stuff out there that will kill you that you never think of.”

The first symptoms of Goldberg’s pneumonia had presented themselves in November 2018, when the star had developed a cough. And by the time she ultimately presented at the hospital, her health had taken a worrying turn for the worse. Even back then, though, Goldberg hadn’t realized just how much she had been in danger.

Goldberg later said on The View, “The scariest moment was hearing my doctor say to me, ‘You do realize how close to death you were?’ That was like, ‘Erm, no, actually.’ I hadn’t thought of it. He said, ‘Well, you need to think of it. You need to be really clear about what this is.’”

Luckily, though, Goldberg had survived her illnesses. “[The] prognosis is [that] I’m not supposed to be here, but I got permission,” she revealed. “Suddenly, now my immune system is challenged. So I’m supposed to just ease back in, and I will. I will ease back in.”

It appeared, too, that Goldberg was grateful to the press for not leaking the nature of her absence from The View. “I’m thrilled that everybody kept the secret that I was in [the hospital] and that it was as bad as it was,” she said.

And Goldberg also took the time to pay tribute to her The View co-stars for their support throughout her illness. “You guys were great,” she told Behar, Houstin, Navarro, McCain and Huntsman. Addressing the audience, Goldberg revealed, “They all came to see me at different times, and, you know, it was kind of hard. It was a little scary – scary for everybody.”

Yet even though Goldberg was supposed to be easing herself back into her role on The View, she couldn’t resist sharing a controversial opinion that she had formed as a result of her hospital experience. In particular, the actress took aim at the health insurance industry.

Sharing her point of view, Goldberg said, “One of the things I discovered is [that] your insurance really doesn’t do much for you… And the people who are saying ‘no’ to you are not doctors; they are people looking at algorithms. It got me to thinking, ‘Why is it that I have been paying insurance for over 60 years and it hasn’t rolled over?’”

Goldberg added, “Who told them they could use that money when I wasn’t using it? I feel like if you’re paying into your insurance, that money should roll over until you need it. I know it’s a business, and I don’t mind them taking a little bit, but I don’t remember when they said, ‘Well, we’re just going to keep all this money.’ Because people are busting their chops paying this insurance.”

One particular situation that irked Goldberg occurred when her doctors advised her to use a certain machine. Her insurance company refused this request, however, as it was in favor of another apparatus. And in the end, a frustrated Goldberg asked if she could instead lease the machine using her own money.

Relaying the story on The View Goldberg said, “The insurance people should listen to the doctor… These are things we have the power to take care of… This is my new [mission]. Tell me where you’re putting my money. Sixty years of insurance money and you’re telling me I can’t get this machine? Bitch, I’ll buy the machine!”

And during her surprise visit to the View studio, Goldberg revealed that she’d resume her appearances on screen from the following week. However, she officially rejoined the talk show in April 2019. And since then, Goldberg has slotted right back in at the helm of the panel – just where she belongs.