Women Share The Most Vital Wisdom They’ve Learned With Age

“The people you surround yourself with have a huge effect on you — your mental health, your physical health, how you think, etc. Set boundaries, and choose people who respect them and have their own boundaries. Cut out toxic people… even if they aren’t trying to be toxic. If you feel worse after interacting with them, they need to go. You only get one life. Don’t spend it trying to solve other people’s problems.” — An1230982356 on Reddit

“Marriage isn’t for everyone. I always knew I was on the fence about kids but had a very rosy idea of marriage. Now I freaking love living alone, and I’m really not sure I’d want to compromise that for any but the absolute ideal person (for me).” — Impressive-Bench9223 on Reddit

“Embrace the phase! You feel like writing a story? You want to learn how to repair a radio? You want to see if knitting is for you? You want to learn to paint this one animal? Do it, and do it now. Interests come in phases, [and] their appeal dies off after a while. So if you have that one thing (or ten) you always wanted to try, no matter how silly — do it.

Do not postpone it ‘until you have time off’ or ‘the kids are out of the house’ or ‘next year maybe.’ Use the momentum and get to it. If you fail, you will have achieved that you have tried what most others didn’t. And if you succeed, teach others about what you love.” — ScepticalWorm on Reddit

“The only person you’ll ever spend 100 percent of your time with is you. So do (job/hobbies) what makes you happy. Dress in a way that makes you happy. Do your hair and makeup how you want, for you. Trying to impress others is such a waste of time and energy.” — SaebraK on Reddit

“Being thin is not the end-all, be-all. Eat the piece of pizza, order dessert, and stop apologizing for taking up space in the world. I wasted so much of my late teens and early twenties obsessing over my weight and caloric intake. And the thinner I got, the more I hated myself.” — sylviao on BuzzFeed

“Love your body. I spent my teenage years with such an awful perception of my body, hating my legs, my stomach. Looking back, I was fine. I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about it.” — Redleafyy on Reddit

“We’re all different, and some of us know exactly what we want to do after high school. For the rest of us, don’t be afraid to head to a community college for your first year or two to figure things out. It’s a much cheaper way to figure out who you are, and it doesn’t get the credit it deserves.” — abbyd9 on BuzzFeed

“All of the superficial stuff we all worry about? Don’t. It’s not worth it, especially as a teen. You will move on after high school and see that following trends is just not important, and no one will care what you do. Just be you!” — jennifert68 on BuzzFeed

“Not every friend has to be a close one.”— FewActinomycetaceae9 on Reddit

“Also, that most friendships are temporary, and that’s okay. They’re there for a certain chapter in your life, and usually you both move on. And you can just appreciate the relationship for what it was at the time and wish them well.” — Sunnysideny on Reddit

“That saying no doesn’t make you a bad friend, coworker, daughter, woman, or human.”— tea-rexy on Reddit

“It’s not rude to say no. Nobody is entitled to your time and attention.” — throwawayfamilyhelpp on Reddit

“Finding someone because you’re lonely isn’t going to make you feel any less alone. You need to learn to be alone before you can be with someone else.” — Big_Remy on Reddit

“You won’t be happy with another person until you are okay being alone with yourself and having a whole life that isn’t dependent on another person’s relationship with you. Be self-sufficient. It’s important to have your own money, your own credit, and to know how to navigate adult life.” — Glindanorth on Reddit

“I would have started saving for retirement a lot earlier.” — -chaigirl- on Reddit

“This x 1000. Start saving now!! Your future self will thank you.” — WheresMyMule replying on Reddit

“Even if it’s $5 every paycheck or whatever you can afford. Skip the Starbucks coffee or tub of ice cream so you can pay your future self!” — dywacthyga replying on Reddit

“Just because a guy loves you doesn’t mean you have to love him back.” — chineseherbs041317 on Reddit

“If the feelings aren’t there, they aren’t there, and you can’t force it.” — Successful_Wait replying on Reddit

“Don’t marry someone just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You can only fake it for so long, and then you’ll make both of you miserable.” — stuckinthebedimade on Reddit

“Unless they’ll attend your funeral, their opinion shouldn’t matter. I still can’t remember who said these words to me, but they were absolutely life-changing!!!!” — cc_bc1 on Reddit

“Wear sunscreen every day! The earlier you start the habit, the more your skin will thank you.” — finella7 on Reddit

“It’ll be scary, and then it won’t be, and then it will be. This cycle is continuous; hold out for the ‘won’t be’ parts.” — dontblinktimeywimey on BuzzFeed

“Don’t ever for one second feel superior to other women. One day you WILL feel self-conscious, you WILL have bad skin, and you WILL date the wrong person. Don’t let your moronic teen brain think any less of the women who experience those things first because you’re not better. It just hasn’t happened to you yet.” — majestic27 on BuzzFeed

“Ask for help! I spent so many hard years struggling when if I had just asked for help from my family or friends, they would have helped me. Instead, I kept it private because I didn’t want them to pity or worry about me. Ask for help if you need it!” —baebumblebees on BuzzFeed

“My advice is just to generally stop thinking life is going to go a certain way and try to be more open-minded to how your life may unfold. I never could have dreamt up my life as it is now, but it’s so much more ‘me’ than the path I was on. I grew up thinking I’d graduate, go to college, meet a husband at some point, have a career, get a big house in the suburbs, have kids, etc. Nobody ever really showed me an alternative path than this, so I didn’t really think about what other options I had.” — areyoukidding on BuzzFeed

“Sometimes, way too much focus is put on loving what you do for a living. If you love what you do, that’s great. But if your day job only pays for the things you actually like to do, that’s okay too. A practical job that pays well and allows you to live the lifestyle you want is not a bad thing at all.” — lizb0980 on BuzzFeed

“I’ve been a hiring manager and watched great female candidates take our first lowball offer, while average-ish men always haggled through at least two rounds of offers and counteroffers. [I] watched a woman take $75k, [but a] less qualified male [took] $89k for the same exact job.” — Angela Gillette / @gillette_girl on Twitter

“If you have to negotiate and you’re having difficulty advocating for yourself (don’t feel bad, it happens), imagine that you’re advocating for your best friend instead. We don’t let ourselves want what we deserve, but we’ll demand those things for our friends in a heartbeat.” — Tanis Fowler / @TanisFowler on Twitter

“You know better than your parents what career path is best for you.” — Ms. Young Professional / @MsYoungProfess on Twitter

“Omg I felt this in my soul. Even if you don’t (yet) yourself know better, there are definitely other more qualified and less biased people (than your parents) out there to help you figure it out.” — smlyc / @smlyc replying on Twitter

“Girl, have your babies.” — Rachel Romer Carlson / @RachelRCarlson on Twitter

“Totally. There is literally never a good time to be pregnant/go on leave. Healthy companies have systems in place that recognize that they’re employing humans, not productivity machines.” — Sarah W. Jaffe / @Sarahwinifred replying on Twitter

“There will be about a two-minute gap between when you’re being told you’re too young for the job and when you’re told you’re too old for the job. Don’t listen to any of it. Age is unwinnable for women.” — Megan K. Stack / @Megankstack on Twitter

“Your standards are never too high. This is your life. If you’re looking for a partner for life, then you don’t want somebody that you’re just “okay” with. Nobody expects you to wear a one-size-fits-all bra the rest of your life, so you shouldn’t have to settle for a supermarket-brand man just because people can’t handle you having standards.”— catcatcatilovecats on Reddit

“Take the time to explore careers. It shouldn’t be a scary process that you put off until the last minute (a.k.a. your third year of college). Making informed decisions about what you want to do for your career to make you happy and give you the lifestyle you want to lead will only help you in the future.” — aroc422 on BuzzFeed

“Apply for jobs like a man. If you’re marginally, barely qualified, apply anyways.” —Meg St-Esprit / @MegStEsprit on Twitter

“I love this advice. I’ve gotten positions I was underqualified for and LEARNED because I’m smart and logical... Selling yourself, believing in yourself, and accepting the possibility of rejection are the foundation of becoming your best self.” — Laura Abbott / @shlorasaurus replying on Twitter

“Do not put your entire self-worth in the hands of one person — a.k.a. your boss. Build relationships with people all over your company and most importantly in OTHER companies and industries so your network becomes your superpower. Also, build an external personal brand.” — Dona Sarkar / @donasarkar on Twitter

“Wish someone had told me that 15 years ago.” — Milk Media / @milkmedianewyor replying on Twitter

“Learn how to block out time for you that is just thinking/reflection time. Don’t let the busy eat you alive before you notice it’s happening. Your reflection time is incredibly valuable!” — Emily Best / @emilybest on Twitter

“My mom has a saying for this: ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’” — Bärí A. Williams, Esq. / @BariAWilliams replying on Twitter

“Life is too short to be worried about other people’s opinions. Be true to yourself day in and day out. Find your voice young, and use it often. Too many people will try and take it away from you.” — cadybug28 on BuzzFeed

“Embrace fear. Always choose the thing that scares you — growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone!” — Kerri Schroeder / @Kerri_Schroeder on Twitter

“Absolutely. That is where the interesting stuff happens.” — JT Long / @SmartMtgsJT replying on Twitter

“The sooner you get comfortable with difficult conversations, the better everything will be — at work and at home.” — Laura Norman / @Lauranorsf on Twitter

“I took training in Crucial Conversations. It was life-changing!!”— MJC is angry! / @clgomn replying on Twitter

“Prioritize therapy earlier, invest in great childcare (that’s great mom care too), order groceries online, be unapologetic about what you want, (keep) being nice (you don’t need to be a mean girl to win), find allies at work and in community, max out your 401k, don’t eat at desk.” — Paige Hewlett / @paigehewlett on Twitter

“If you aren’t going to most invites, you’ll stop getting invited.” — ilikenarwhals on BuzzFeed

“Always have creative side projects and hobbies that feed you.” — Faye Penn / @fayepenn on Twitter

“Yes! My colleagues and students are always so surprised by my side projects!” — Jeanette, NBCT / @jeanettepriceMT replying on Twitter.

“It’s okay not to have a plan. Sometimes I think we spent so much time thinking, ‘Okay, what’s next?’ that we don’t actually enjoy life while we’re living it.”— magical_elf on Reddit

“Life isn’t linear. It isn’t always an upwards slope of life goals being achieved. Setbacks aren’t really setbacks if you don’t look at them that way. It’s just what happened. And here you are now. Deal with it.” — snapdragon6 on Reddit

“There is literally no point in worrying, and you may as well just chill and enjoy life. I think I understood this in principle in my twenties, but I got so exhausted and bored of worrying that by 30 I just didn’t worry anymore.” — turnipnightmares on Reddit

“Life goes by in a flash, so don’t sweat your mistakes... learn from them and move on. And to make sure you tell the people you love every day that you love them. I’m very grateful that the last thing I said to my husband was ‘I love you’ before he died suddenly.” — Herley11 on Reddit

“Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Your journey doesn’t have to be a straight line. In fact, it’s all of the deviations that help you grow. Embrace your own path and don’t think twice about how it looks or compares to others. So much easier said than done, I know.” — usaidurfingerwasagun on Reddit

“It is okay to change your mind. It is okay to spend all of your twenties going after a certain goal or having certain beliefs only to decide to change paths or no longer believe those things. Of course, you can do this at any stage in life, but in my twenties, I had this mentality of ‘this is the box I’ve put myself in and now I have to stay in it.’ Realizing that I don’t have to have it all figured out by 30 was liberating.”— No_Ad945 on Reddit