How can you tell if someone truly loves you? We’re not talking about just as friends or some fleeting attraction, either; we’re talking about the real deal. These are 20 dependable signs that your partner genuinely loves the unique and real you. And we’re not making this stuff up!
20. They want to know what you’re up to
Trust is obviously pretty important when it comes to a healthy relationship. But guess what? Research shows that successful long-term couples still want to know what their partners are doing a lot of the time. And that’s because they are curious about each other’s lives, not because they are suspicious or think that their partner might be cheating.
19. They run to your rescue whenever you need it
No, we’re not talking about a damsel-in-distress rescue mission. We’re talking about the little everyday ways that your partner helps you out. So if they run to the store to get you something or help you with a problem you’re having at work, they may well be a keeper.
18. They want your opinion when it comes to making decisions
It’s a great sign if your partner asks for your opinion when it comes to deciding things: it means that they value your views and are totally in love with you. After all, couples in successful relationships tend to make decisions together. And that goes for the small things – like what to watch on Netflix – as well as life’s bigger questions, like where to live.
17. Their views aren’t necessarily the same as yours
Of course, your partner’s opinion may not reflect your own. But imagine how boring it would be if the two of you agreed on everything all the time? Alternatively, someone who agrees just to agree isn’t doing either of you any favors. Remember, though: the important thing is that you are both open and respectful of each other’s views and opinions. That’s true love.
16. They’re checking you out all the time… in a good way
It might sound pretty basic, but if your partner is still regularly looking at you well past the honeymoon stage of your relationship, you know it’s true love. Even a brief glance, in fact, can be taken as a surefire sign that they’re really into you.
15. They’ve really got your back
Of course your partner should have your back, but how do you tell? One easy way is to see how they react when you get criticized; it’s a sign that they’re in love with you if they jump to your defense. What’s more, a researcher in San Francisco has discovered that LGBT couples may have deep connections because they’re united against societal discrimination.
14. They spend all their time with you
We might be exaggerating a little there; it wouldn’t be healthy if they literally spent all their time with you. But it’s really important that your partner not only wants to spend time with you, but actually does so regularly, according to social psychologist Eli Finkel of Northwestern University. Indeed, relationships are an investment in both time and energy that should be well spent.
13. They are genuinely themselves around you
This one might be a little harder to spot, but if your partner seems really relaxed and comfortable around you, it usually means they’re being themselves. And, according to Finkel, this is an awesome sign. In fact, he believes that those people who can really express themselves with their partners will have long and happy relationships.
12. They want to go bungee jumping with you
Okay, so it doesn’t have to be bungee jumping exactly. But if your partner wants to take on a new challenge with you at their side, it’s a fantastic sign. Indeed, a study by psychologist Arthur Aron revealed that couples who are genuinely in love like doing “self-expanding” things together that are new and adventurous.
11. They dwell on the good, not the bad
Every partnership has its ups and downs. But one surefire way of knowing that your partner loves you is if they concentrate on the good and stay upbeat about your relationship. Scientists call this “sentiment override,” which means that your partner concentrates on the awesome times you’ve had together.
10. They grab life with both hands
Is your partner generally a passionate person? That’s a great sign in and of itself. Studies show that people who throw their heart and soul into everything they do – whether that be their job or their hobbies – enjoy life more. Good news for you!
9. They go green-eyed for you
No one likes an overly jealous partner; indeed, it’s a sure sign of a relationship in trouble. But a small amount of healthy jealousy is natural. It fact, it demonstrates that your partner really cares about you and is an indication that they’re in love.
8. They point their feet towards you
This one may sound totally weird, but it’s backed up by cold, hard science: if someone loves you, they’ll angle their feet in your direction. It’s been confirmed by researcher Lisa Daily, author of the spectacularly named book Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need To Know To Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry “The One” in 3 Years or Less.
7. They walk at the same speed as you
Does your partner slow down or speed up so that they can walk right beside you? Well, it’s a sign that they love you. Indeed, scientists from Seattle Pacific University discovered that couples coordinate their walking speeds when they’re infatuated with each other. The findings were reported in the journal PLOS ONE.
6. Their pupils get bigger when you’re around
If someone’s in love with you, their eyes get bigger – fact. A study carried out by University of Chicago researchers concluded that if somebody is gazing at someone they like, their pupils will dilate. And they can’t help it, either, because it’s involuntary.
5. They think you’re really unique
Helen Fisher is an anthropologist at Rutgers University and a specialist in the biology behind love. So you know there must be something to her theory that when people are in love, they each think their partner is genuinely one of a kind. Fisher’s team hypothesize that this occurs because of more dopamine – a chemical connected to focus and concentration – in the brain.
4. They’re ever so slightly obsessed with you
Studies have shown that people in love think about their respective partners more than 85 percent of the time they’re awake! Naturally, then, being slightly obsessive about your other half – or “intrusive thinking,” as it’s known – is a sign that you’re in love. It’s thought that this is the effect of lower serotonin levels in the brain.
3. They communicate with you openly and often
It sounds obvious, but it’s super important: your partner’s in love with you if they talk to you about all sorts of things, from everyday stuff to their feelings and ideas. According to Eli Finkel, moreover, couples have to make time for “soul-searching conversations.”
2. They like to reminisce about the good old days
If your partner’s prone to reminiscing, it might not be just that they’re being nostalgic and longing for times gone by. And it shouldn’t be a cause for concern, either: studies have shown that couples who think back to fun experiences together are closer and have a stronger bond.
1. They act like an addict
Helen Fisher from Rutgers University has found that being in love is like a kind of addiction. That’s because being in love is linked to mood swings, more energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite and even shaking. So if they’re acting like an addict, it might actually be a good sign…