Man Receives A Message Online That Exposes A Painful Reality

Martin and his wife are residents of Tucson, Arizona, these days. He hasn’t always called Arizona home, though, and how he ended up there’s a complicated story. Martin was actually born all the way over on the other side of the country, in a place called Guilford County in North Carolina.

Martin arrived into the world in 1962, but it was a pretty tumultuous life right from the off. Just a few months after his birth had taken place, he was put up for adoption. He was then taken in by a family in Greensboro, a city at the heart of Guilford County.

Martin grew up alongside a sister, who was also adopted. While they were young, both kids were informed that they’d originally had different parents. The adoptive family stayed in Greensboro for some years before upping sticks to Spartanburg in South Carolina. And when his parents later split up, Martin was taken to live in Tucson, Arizona, with his mom.

Martin had always been very curious about his origins, which, thankfully, was an interest supported by his adoptive mom. She’d long been very supportive of his desire to learn more about his biological family. And going a step further, she was perfectly happy for her son to look for the woman who’d given birth to him.

Unfortunately, though, it’d prove to be an arduous task that wouldn’t resolve itself very easily. For several decades, Martin struggled terribly to find a worthwhile lead in his quest to track down his birth family. But finally, toward the end of 2020, his investigation took a firm step in the right direction.

Through persistence, graft, and a little outside help, Martin managed to come across a name: Joseph B. Shaw Jr. That guy may just prove to be the key to unlocking all the secrets of this quest, so Martin found him on Facebook. He wrote a brief note detailing his situation — and then he waited.

It should come as little surprise to learn that Martin was forced to wait in limbo for a little while here. After all, this whole affair had been extremely slow-moving from the beginning — and this lead was no exception. Weeks passed and still no reply was received from Joe. So maybe this latest development in Martin’s search was a dud and would come to nothing?

Before Martin could give into despair completely, though, a reply eventually came through. Joe had finally gotten in touch. But would it be worth the wait? Would Joe have the answers Martin needed to bring a close to a search that’d started so many years ago?

Martin had tried to get the ball rolling way back at the start of the 1990s. That was when he became a father, which led him to ask for details about his file in his local child services office. But in those days it was against the law to disclose any info that might identify people involved in an adoption case.

Yet despite being denied that information Martin did still have a lead to work with. In 1962 a social worker had sent him a note about the reasons for his adoption. The details were vague, with nothing included that might have specifically identified Martin’s birth parents. And for that very reason Martin had been granted access to them.

Even though the letter couldn’t possibly help Martin figure out who his biological parents had been, it wasn’t totally useless. As a matter of fact, it explained why he’d been put up for adoption in the first place. The reason listed was that his birth mom couldn’t afford a kid and his dad had declined to help.

That letter may have provided a certain amount of catharsis but it didn’t help identify Martin’s real parents. In fact, no meaningful developments on that front would occur for many, many years to come. It was only during 2017 when things really started progressing. That year, Martin began trying to construct his family tree.

The process started with Martin undergoing a DNA test and trying to find matches. A volunteer gave him some assistance and together they slowly added more and more names to his family tree. Eventually, this led to a woman whose details seemed to suggest she might be his real mom.

Still, even though Martin had learned of this woman who might have been his biological mother, there was little he could do. He just didn’t have the means to actually find this lady. But by 2019 he’d learned of a change to the law that could make things easier. In effect, it meant somebody else could legally make contact with his potential birth mom on his behalf.

Unable to contact this woman himself, Martin turned to an organization called the Children’s Home Society of North Carolina. This group works very closely with people who’ve been through the adoption process, so it was an ideal third party to help. Maybe its staff would be able to track down and speak with Martin’s real family?

But things didn’t go to plan, unfortunately. Though officials from the organization reached out to this woman and tried to establish a dialogue, she wouldn’t ever reciprocate. It was, it seemed, yet another dead end in Martin’s decades-long search. Things must’ve seemed grim at that moment — but thankfully progress was just around the corner.

While the Children’s Home Society had failed to get a response out of the woman thought to be Martin’s real mom, it did uncover something useful. It’d managed to track down a death certificate for a man thought to be Martin’s real dad. This guy had died in 2008 but another detail on his death certificate was huge: Joseph B. Shaw Jr., his son, was mentioned as his next of kin. In other words, Martin had a brother.

Upon learning that information, Martin was quick to begin searching for this Joseph guy on social media. Recalling the moment to CNN, he explained, “It took me 15 minutes to find my younger brother on Facebook. I sent him a message that day, short little message, explaining who I am and who I am to him, and we have the same father and to call me.”

But again, frustratingly for Martin, a response wasn’t immediately forthcoming. Days went by, then weeks. No word came back from Joe and maybe it started to seem like it never would. But then, roughly a fortnight later on January 7, 2021, a message finally appeared in Martin’s inbox. Joseph had gotten in touch.

Explaining what was in the message, Martin told CNN, “The first question [Joe] asked me was, ‘Do you know who your mama was?’” Martin then replied with the name of the lady he’d identified during the construction of his family tree. Upon hearing that name, Joe said, “That’s my mama.”

Not only did the two men share the same dad, then, but they also had the same mom. Martin reflected, “So right then and there, we realized we had the same mother and father — we’re full-blooded brothers. We talked for three hours and then we had to take a break to tell our families what was going on.”

All signs pointed toward these two men being brothers but they needed to confirm that once and for all. That would require a DNA analysis, which they both happily agreed to. And sure enough, a number of weeks passed and the results came in: the pair were definitely full siblings.

With the knowledge that they were brothers, Martin and Joe remained in regular contact and got to know each other better. In doing so, they came to see just how similar they were. Both are pretty handy, which seems to be a trait they picked up from their dad, who’d been a mechanic when he was alive.

During his conversation with CNN, Joe spoke about the things he and his newly found brother had come to learn about each other. He explained, “We started to talk about how we do things and he does things the same way. We are very mechanically inclined. He uses his hands a lot and I just knew.”

Before long, Joe and Martin were talking about their own lives, which led Joe to reveal that he was soon to be married. He invited Martin and his own family to attend the ceremony, something they gladly did. This would be a family reunion that’d been many decades in the making.

A couple of days prior to the ceremony, the men met for the very first time. Speaking of this encounter at the airport, Martin recalled, “We hugged and we kissed our cheeks and we cried on each other’s shoulder. My little brother is 6 feet 4 inches and I’m 5 feet 11 inches, so he rubbed me on the head and he asked me if it was good to be home in North Carolina. I said yes.”

Joe also spoke to CNN about meeting the sibling he’d been unaware of for so long. He said, “All these years, I never knew I had a brother. It was very emotional. So many things going through my head and just trying to convey what was going on because it was the weekend I was getting married.”

A marriage ceremony’s emotional at the best of times, so Joe must’ve been exhausted by the affair. And not only was he adding to his family in the form of his new spouse but he was also having his very first encounter with a long lost brother. That might’ve been stressful, of course, yet thankfully everything seemed to go really well.

Speaking of Martin’s presence at the wedding, Joe admitted, “I felt so blessed that he was able to be here. The only thing that bothers me was... I wish that it happened a whole lot earlier. I do have a brother now. It feels great to have one because I’m just not used to that.”

And, amazingly, this wasn’t the only big moment to occur at Joe’s wedding. Martin had gotten to meet his brother and a bunch of other relatives that day — but that wasn’t all. On top of everything else, there was someone else special in attendance. It was Martin and Joe’s mom.

Like his brother Martin, Joe had also experienced a difficult start to life. Following his birth the pair’s mom quickly decided she didn’t want to bring him up. Yet unlike Martin, Joe wasn’t put up for adoption. Instead he was raised by their grandma on their dad’s side, though he didn’t lose contact with his mom totally.

Joe still wasn’t exactly close to his mom but he at least knew her. So, when Martin appeared in his life out of the blue, he decided to help his new brother out. A day ahead of his wedding, he took Martin to go meet their mom. And, thankfully, it went well. Martin later recalled to CNN, “When we got to her house, she told me how much she loved me. She said love is not a big enough word for what has just happened.”

Having met him for the first time since giving him up all those years ago, Martin’s mom told her long-lost son about her life. She explained that she’d once resided at a home for unmarried ladies. And they also spoke about her decision to call him Jonathan, which was his name before Martin.

Martin’s mom — who’s remained anonymous in the press — spoke to CNN and claimed she’d never wanted to give up her boy. She stated, “His father, well, was mean and never give me no money for him. I was sick. I was in and out of the hospital about that time. I could not raise the boy. I was not able. My mother just said, ‘You can’t raise that young ’un.’”

But even though she claims the decision was out of her hands, this lady did say sorry to Martin for not raising him. He, though, was perfectly willing to let the issue lie. Apparently, after she expressed her remorse, he replied, “You don’t have to apologize. You gave me a wonderful life.”

Joe also got an apology from his and Martin’s mom, who used to visit him when he was growing up. According to Joe himself, she told him she was sorry about not being able to raise him. As he explained, “She said she just had to do what she just had to do.”

But maybe this woman’s been able to make peace with the situation, having now met both her sons at the same time. As she told CNN in the wake of their encounter, “I was so happy, I cried.” And as for Martin, the experience has motivated him to lend a hand to others. “I want to help other people in North Carolina find their birth parents or siblings or their children they adopted out,” he explained. “Because I don’t want someone to spend 30 years looking for them.”

It took Martin such a long time to learn about his beginnings but finally he did it. And while that certainly hadn’t been an easy feat, it was all worth it in the end. As he said to CNN, “Every experience we’ve had has been a blessing, has been a goose pimples, hair-raising experience of what we’ve been going through.”

Without luck on his side, of course, things could’ve worked out differently for Martin. But, thankfully, persistence paid off. He reflected, “No one knew I existed because no one told them I existed. My mom told nobody. My dad told nobody. And if it wasn’t for the law changing in North Carolina and for me [being] able to get my daddy’s death certificate, I wouldn’t be able to put the rest of my life’s puzzle pieces together.”