Inside Sidney Poitier’s 9-Year Affair With A Fellow Star

There’s no doubting Poitier’s enormous contribution to Hollywood’s rich tapestry, including gaining an historic distinction in the context of racial equality. Yes, when he scooped an Academy Award in 1964 for his performance in Lilies of the Field it represented a significant milestone. No other black actor had ever won the Oscar for Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role before.

But while Poitier’s fame grew during the 1960s, he harbored a dark secret. In fact, although the actor was married in that decade, another woman had captured his heart. The story of his affair with this particular lady would have made a for an emotional film worthy of Poitier himself — if people had known, that is.

But the same could probably be said for Poitier’s road into acting, too. Times were tough when he was young, you see, and Poitier had to quit school in his teens to do his bit for his family. Not long after, he was on his way to the States, to join a big brother in New York. There he worked low-paid jobs until finally, he lied about his age so that he could get into the army. This wouldn’t be the only lie he’d tell during his career, either...

Sadly, the then-future star didn’t love his spell in the army. He was assigned to a physiotherapy unit and disliked it enough to show a glimpse of his acting talent. Yes, he pretended to have a mental illness and was discharged. Finding work as a dishwasher, he looked to get a gig as a theater actor — but his accent proved a barrier.

Undaunted, Poitier worked to rid himself of his Bahamian burr. Long hours with the radio and practicing when he talked to others meant that when he went for another audition, the theater bosses were happier with his accent. They took him on as a trainee, and he swapped dishwashing for cleaning to earn a crust.

It’s fair to say that Poitier took to the theater. It didn’t hurt that he had good looks and was fit and tall. At first, his roles were confined to all-black stage productions, but before long he was seen in films. All the same, he still had to pretend to be a lot older than he was to land decent parts. In the end, he would spend a lot of his career pretending.

While by and large the critics enjoyed the young Poitier’s work, the roles didn’t exactly come flooding in. On occasion he even had to switch countries to get a decent part. For example, in Cry, the Beloved Country, it involved him going to South Africa. In 1951 this didn’t prove an entirely comfortable experience for a young black man.

But times being what they were, there just weren’t that many good roles for Poitier. He made his living mostly by running an eatery. This was until he had a breakout role in Blackboard Jungle. Poitier’s first hit saw him playing a student, although you may remember it more these days for its soundtrack. Bill Haley’s music included the iconic Rock Around The Clock.

More films were to follow, but Poitier’s political activism may have played a part in keeping the flow of roles to a trickle. Still, A Man Is Ten Feet Tall featured the archetypal Poitier character: an easygoing guy with a good heart, who formed something of a contrast to the white man that he played opposite.

Poitier’s talent was undeniable, even if he wasn’t getting as much opportunity to display it as he might have liked. And even the Academy noted it, giving him a nomination for his role in The Defiant Ones in 1958. For that film, Tony Curtis had insisted that Poitier shared top billing with him — quite unheard of for the day.

Now established, at long last Poitier had plenty of lead roles coming his way. They weren’t always winners — his turn in Porgy and Bess wasn’t a success. But after returning to Broadway in smash-hit A Raisin in the Sun in 1959, he went on to star in the film of the play to great acclaim.

As previously mentioned, in 1964 Poitier became the first black man to win an Oscar for best actor, with Lilies of the Field defying its meager budget to gain widespread attention and fulsome praise. Now its star was hot property, and the film roles flooded in. Still, it didn’t do wonders for his personal life, but simply being uber-busy was not the biggest problem the Bahamian’s marriage faced.

In the latter half of the 1960s, Poitier’s fame reached a peak. He could be seen in a string of hit movies, including turns as Tibbs in In the Heat of the Night and the not-entirely-welcome guest in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. In the early 1970s he’d revisit Tibbs in films that weren’t particularly compelling but helped pad his swelling bank account.

Yet having made it as an A-lister at last, Poitier came to find acting increasingly dissatisfying. Feeling distinctly typecast, he looked around for something new, which led him to try his hand behind the lens instead. As a co-creator of First Artists, he became committed to directing a number of films, which he did through the 1970s with some success.

By the end of that decade, Poitier had more or less retired, and when he did act, the parts he took weren’t great. So in 2002 when his life’s work was recognized by the Academy, it was very much a reflective gesture. Then the honorary Oscar was given to him for “representing the industry with dignity, style, and intelligence.”

This wasn’t the only award Poitier enjoyed, of course: he was one of the few Hollywood legends to receive a knighthood. Thanks to his Bahamian origins, he was eligible for this recognition, bestowed on him by the Queen of the U.K. in 1974. In the U.S. he gained the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2009, and back in the Bahamas, he was able to serve as an ambassador for many years.

Nowadays, Poitier is renowned not just as a towering acting talent, but more generally as a cultural groundbreaker. And he was well aware of the importance of his position as a black figurehead, once observing, “I felt very much as if I were representing 15, 18 million people with every move I made.” Maybe that’s why his affair was kept firmly under wraps.

In his private life, Poitier enjoyed two long and largely successful marriages. The first was to Juanita Marie Hardy, with whom he tied the knot in 1951. She worked as a model and a dancer, and they stayed together for 14 years and had four girls. A decade later, he got hitched to Joanna Shimkus, who had starred with him in a film back in 1969. They shared two more daughters.

But another woman seemed to capture Poitier’s heart. She was Diahann Carroll. The multitalented star came to notice in the late 1950s when she starred in Porgy and Bess and Carmen Jones. Like Poitier, she blazed a trail for black performers, bringing a visibility that they had previously lacked.

When Carroll passed, she was showered with acclaim by the black stars who had followed in her footsteps. For instance, Scandal star Kerry Washington tweeted, “I love you for eternity. With all my heart. I am because of you.” And Washington had Carroll accompany her onto the stage at the 2013 Emmys.

Washington’s words were echoed by musical superstar Mitzi Gaynor, who posted, “Diahann Carroll was a luminous, extraordinary, performer, and an even more beautiful human being. I’ll treasure memories of shared laughter, and of her incredible artistry. Farewell, beautiful Diahann.” Carroll had smashed preconceptions of black women with her late-1960s-early-1970s TV show Julia, which for the first time, featured an African-American lead who wasn’t a servant.

The success of Julia was incredible, and it scored a Golden Globe for its star. And it earned Carroll a host of TV roles, including a key part in Dynasty. Even when she had aged out of lead roles, she could still be seen in hit shows such as White Collar and Grey’s Anatomy.

The award for Julia wasn’t the only one that Carroll would win. She scooped many accolades, including a Tony Award. That prize — for the musical No Strings Attached in 1962 — was the first to be given to a black woman. On TV, she was nominated for an Emmy no fewer than five times.

So Carroll would become in many ways Poitier’s equal both as a star and as a trailblazer. And as two of the burgeoning black talents of the late 1950s, it’s no real surprise that they starred together. This came to pass with the casting of 1959’s Porgy and Bess.

And it’s fair to say that the two definitely noticed each other on set. In fact, the meeting would spark a torrid relationship. This was in spite of them both having spouses at the time. Apparently, they just couldn’t help themselves — there was a fierce magnetism drawing them together in a way that neither had ever experienced before.

Poitier did not hold back when he talked about Carroll’s looks. As reported by British newspaper the Daily Mirror in January 2022, he said her cheekbones caught his eye, and he was enraptured by the mystery in her eyes and the gleaming perfection of her teeth. Her sensuality lured him in, too, and he could not resist — even though at this stage he had been married to Hardy for many years.

For her part, Carroll was hitched to Monty Kay, who would be the only man with whom she’d ever have a child. But that didn’t stop her from accepting an invitation to dinner from Poitier. On his agenda for their meeting was what they could do about being married. It was clear to them both that they had met someone special.

As per the Daily Mirror, Poitier would later say of Carroll, “As I got to know her, I realized she was one of the brightest women I had ever known.” Of course, he also had a lot to offer, and Carroll — ever the romantic — could hardly avoid being attracted to the charming rising star. She later observed that she had just not had the maturity to resist.

With their relationship ablaze, the pair decided that they should both quit their marriages and put their affair on a solid footing. But when Carroll did leave her spouse, at first Poitier didn’t follow suit. And when in 1965 he eventually did end his marriage, he decided that he wasn’t prepared to get hitched again.

Carroll started to see other guys, but Poitier reportedly didn’t take that well. As the actress reported in her memoir, he was not willing to share her with others, and “laid claim” to her instead. She said he told her, “I won’t have you running around with other men. You belong to me!”

It’s probably reasonable for Carroll to have assumed that they would actually be together. Poitier had given her a ring during their affair and had made mutual living arrangements. The idea was that they’d share an apartment for six months before they wed so that he wasn’t just jumping from marriage to marriage.

But the plans went into the dumpster not long after Carroll had moved into the home. In her memoir she recalled how Poitier had phoned her and said that he wasn’t sure that he was going to get divorced. He was also apparently unhappy about the idea of Carroll’s daughter living in the apartment with the couple.

Carroll explained what happened next, writing, “He changed the locks so I couldn’t get in [to the apartment]. Then he made me write him a check to offset his purchase and decorating costs.” Stunned by this behavior, Carroll could only respond meekly, admitting, “I did as I was told, submissive and desperate.”

So that was the end of the pair’s relationship, although it wouldn’t quite be the conclusion of their story. After all, they’d had some deep feelings for each other, and they didn’t just let them die altogether. Instead, as they aged, they rediscovered friendship for each other, with Carroll later confirming, “Sidney and I are now friends.”

Why had Carroll forgiven what must have been some hurtful treatment at the hands of Poitier, if her story is accurate? She explained in her 2008 memoir, “That’s a lovely thing that comes as you age — forgiveness and perhaps a relaxing of standards.” And the two of them would be seen in each other’s company at various social engagements.

So it shouldn’t be a shock that when Carroll died in 2019 Poitier paid tribute to the woman and their friendship, describing his former love as “a talented, beautiful, and courageous spirit from which a remarkable and lasting friendship prevailed through the years.” But in the end they didn’t ever tie the knot.

No, the two remained nothing more than friends, even though they would both go on to remarry. In 1976 Poitier wed Shimkus, and he’d stay hitched to her for the rest of his life. For Carroll, it was a less settled story. She married three more times, but none of those relationships lasted.