Sissy Spacek Spoke About Making Marriage Work Past 50 Years, And Her Words Resonated With Fans

Born in the small Texas town of Quitman — a place with fewer than two thousand residents — Spacek left at 17 to pursue her dream of becoming an actress. More than five decades later, having racked up an incredible six Academy Award nominations and one win, she is as in-demand as ever. Despite this, she still mostly eschews Hollywood glitz and glamour, preferring to live the quiet life as much as possible.

Going back in time for a moment, when Spacek signed up to star in the 1972 classic Badlands, she had no idea it would change her life in more ways than one. For starters, she was nominated for the BAFTA award for Most Promising Newcomer to Leading Film Roles. But she also met her future husband — art director Fisk — on the film’s set. 

Speaking to magazine Closer Weekly in 2018 Spacek revealed, “We met on Badlands. I remember looking around and thinking, ‘Okay, who’s the cutest one here?’ He was definitely the cutest.” She then added, “He’s got this really fabulous sense of humor — actually, it’s so bad that it’s good — and he’s the most creative person I’ve ever met.” 

In 1991 she elaborated on their first meeting to magazine Texas Monthly. She revealed, “Jack had built this incredible treehouse on a river. One day he asked me to ride home with him on a boat. We loaded up, and there came a terrible flash flood. The boat sank. Right then I knew life with Jack was going to be eventful.”

The couple tied the knot in 1974 despite both harboring a healthy distrust of the institution of marriage. Spacek once told People magazine, “We never expected a lifelong relationship. In fact, we even opened a bank account and put $30 in it, because that’s how much it cost to get divorced.” To their amazement, though, lifelong is what they got, with Spacek admitting, “Now I think it would take something dramatic like death to end it.” 

Spacek and Fisk’s wedding was incredibly low-key, which was actually perfectly in line with their personalities. According to Texas Monthly, even the idea of walking down the aisle in a church in her hometown of Quitman sounded too much for Spacek. So, they married in Santa Monica at a small chapel, and the only witness to the occasion was Fisk’s dog, Five!

The year 1982 saw the arrival of their first child Schuyler Elizabeth, who is now an actress just like her mom. In ’83, while Schuyler was still a baby, Spacek told People that becoming a mother was transformative for her. She chuckled, “Nothing freaks me out now.” No, not even the psychic who correctly predicted in ’81 that she was going to have a baby girl in ’82!

Spacek told the magazine about an illuminating drugstore trip to get Schuyler’s vitamins. When she heard the announcement, “Would Schuyler Fisk’s mother please come to the prescription counter,” come over the speaker, she couldn’t help but smile. She said, “I blushed and went running back all giggly. I wasn’t Sissy Spacek, I was Schuyler Fisk’s mother. I was overcome.”

Spacek also told Texas Monthly about how profound motherhood is to her. She said, “Nothing in life prepared me for the way I felt about being a mother. Until then, I sort of felt like a blank sheet of paper. I was always trying to second-guess myself, to be what others wanted me to be. The moment I saw Schuyler, I no longer questioned who I was.”

In 1988 she and Fisk had a second daughter — Madison — and they’ve always raised their kids on the Virginian farm they bought in ’78. It’s as far away from a glitzy Tinseltown existence as anyone could imagine, but that’s exactly how they wanted it. Aside from leaving for several months a year to shoot a movie, Spacek was content living as normal a family life as possible on the farm.

Brilliantly, in Albermarle County, Virginia, the locals always allowed Spacek to live that normal life. She told Texas Monthly, “The countryside around our farm reminds me very much of the hills and pines around Quitman. Around here no one treats me like a movie star. A lot of famous people have lived there, starting with Thomas Jefferson. There, I’m just Schuyler and Madison’s mom. That’s the way I like it.”

Spacek once explained the outlook she and her husband have on their quiet rural life to website Yahoo Entertainment. She said, “We moved there not because we didn't love L.A., but we wanted to raise our children in a more natural environment where they could make mistakes, ride ponies, do stupid stuff and climb trees and not have to deal with that celebrity child thing.” Mission accomplished!

In 2012 Spacek spoke about how she and her husband have always bonded over their love of making movies. She said, “Well, first we met working together, and throughout the 1970s we just did almost every film together — from Badlands to Carrie. If I wasn’t working, I helped him out, and if he wasn’t working, he helped me with my research for a role.”

The star continued, “We really supported one another and we really understood the business. It was what brought us together. And we were passionate about the same things, including movie-making.” She noted that both partners perceived themselves as moviemakers first and foremost, adding, “I think it was a lucky thing for me, not only that I met Jack, but that I was so involved since the very beginning of my career with the entire production of my films.”

Spacek concluded, “We both had this great passion and love for filmmaking, and that’s something that we continue to share. And we each have an understanding of what making a commitment to a film entails. We both have to give 200 percent.” To hear such fierce dedication from people like Spacek and Fisk, so far into their glittering careers, was surely inspiring for the next generation of filmmakers. 

Interestingly, her husband was actually key in Spacek being hired for one of her most famous roles — the titular telekinetic teenager in Carrie. Fisk had been hired on the movie, and director Brian de Palma wanted Spacek to play the mean girl Chris. Eventually he invited her to audition for the lead role mostly out of courtesy to Fisk. Naturally, she nailed the audition, and the rest is history.

Spacek once told newspaper The Independent that their close artistic relationship led to Fisk being a valuable sounding board for her over the years. Specifically, as she was preparing to shoot the harrowing shower scene in Carrie, she found herself struggling to wrap her head around it. She said, “It was terrifying. I’m also very shy, and I’m an introvert.” 

The scene called for Carrie to experience her first period in front of all her classmates in the gym showers. Spacek truly didn’t know how to tackle it, so she asked director Brian de Palma, “Tell me about this scene, what is it like?” His response was, “It’s like getting hit by a Mack truck.” Next, she consulted Fisk and he proved the key to unlocking her performance. 

You see, Fisk had been run over by a vehicle when he was a boy, and Spacek decided to channel those emotions. She revealed, “So in that scene, what’s going on in my head is [Jack] walking along the side of the road when he was about 11 or 12. It’s snowing, and he’s looking at Christmas lights. And then he saw car lights.”

Spacek continued, “There was a car coming down the road right at him, and it ran him over. So, when Carrie’s in the shower, I’m seeing those Christmas lights, and then the horror of the blood.” She then chuckled, “Ain’t it bizarre that something like that could work?” It truly speaks to the tremendous bond — both personal and artistic — that she and Fisk have always shared.

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Fast-forward to May 2022 and Spacek speaking with Esquire magazine about Night Sky. A heartfelt sci-fi drama about life, love, and loss, it sees her and co-star J.K. Simmons play Irene and Franklin York, an elderly married couple who live with something mysterious and incredible in their backyard. Spoiler — it might just be a portal to another world! 

During the interview, talking about the Yorks’ relationship made Spacek think of her own marriage. She said, “It was the relationship between Franklin and Irene that really pulled me in. One of the things I recognized in her was she had this long term relationship with her husband. I've had that with my husband. Fifty years. It's crazy. It goes so fast.”

The Oscar-winner continued, “My husband is such a wonderful artist. He's phenomenal, and I learned so much from him about the artist’s life, and about work, and what it involves, and how much you have to give. You have to give everything up and be focused when you’re working. We've shared that.” There’s that bond again.

All this talk soon led into Spacek doling out some homespun marriage wisdom. She revealed, “I recognized in Irene that when you've been married that long, sometimes you want to bop them on the head. You want to strangle them. That's just part of the long-term relationship. You go through so many things that it just deepens and deepens and deepens.”

Indeed, their bond is so deep that Fisk has often helped Spacek flip the script on how she approaches life. For instance, he taught her, “It’s such a wonderful, wonderful thing to live in the world, to get to live in the world.” It makes sense, right? Approaching every day with that kind of gratitude can only make everything seem sunnier!

Fisk’s grateful outlook on things has also truly resonated with his wife when it comes to their work. She revealed, “One day he was working with somebody, and they said, ‘Oh, we have to do that scene today.’ And he said, ‘No, we get to do it.’ We’re so lucky to be here.” A simple adjustment of perception, and suddenly everything looks better.

Spacek felt both she and Simmons drew their inspiration for playing the Yorks from very similar places. She said, “We’ve both been in long-term relationships, still are, and that's what we drew from. We adore our spouses. He's been in a 30-year relationship. I've been in a 50-year relationship.” She added, “He’s always deep. He's close to his children, he adores his wife, he loves his career.”

When it came to her family life — and specifically becoming a grandma — Spacek was glowing. She said, “I have grandchildren now. One and two. It’s the greatest thing that I’ve experienced. I’m very content. I think happiness is overrated. I think contentment is what we need and just to be. I’m kind of an introvert. I spend a lot of time with my family and then work every so often.”

Finally, when asked by Esquire’s writer to give some marriage advice, Spacek responded with, “Just pick your battles.” She also had some wisdom for the Richmond-Times Dispatch newspaper, though. When asked how long she’d been married, she replied, “Not long enough,” and then declared the true secret to a long, happy marriage was “marryin’ the right guy!” Aww. Spacek isn't the only A-lister in Hollywood to be commended for her long-running marriage, however. In fact, some far younger couples have the same thing going.

In the late 1990s, Prinze Jr. and Gellar were at the top of the young Hollywood food chain. They both starred in hit horror flick I Know What You Did Last Summer in 1997, the same year that Gellar began playing Buffy Summers, the soon-to-be iconic TV vampire slayer. She also appeared in teen hits Scream 2 and Cruel Intentions during this period.

While Gellar became a geek culture superstar, Prinze Jr. forged a path playing swoon-worthy romantic leads. Down To You, Head Over Heels and Boys and Girls will all be fondly remembered by teen girls who came of age in that time period. 1999’s She’s All That, though, was by far and away his most popular – and enduring – romcom.

As mentioned before, Prinze Jr. first met his future wife when they starred in I Know What You Did Last Summer. Though their characters seldom appeared in the same scenes, they hung out a lot off-camera. Amusingly, it all started because he wound up becoming her personal chauffeur when the filming location proved difficult to get to.

“She didn’t have a driver’s license,” Prinze Jr. told Us Weekly in 2020. The shoot was in Southport, North Carolina, a good 60 minutes from the closest city. Then the location changed, and Gellar had even more difficulty traveling to the new set. So, Prinze Jr. offered his services.

“So, I started driving her, and that’s when her and I became friends,” the 24 star explained. “And we would just talk about life and stuff like that, and we had completely different philosophies on just about everything. Because she was a born and raised New Yorker, and I was a born and raised L.A. kid, and we just looked at everything like night and day.”

These differences didn’t faze the pair, though. Prinze Jr. revealed, “By the end of the movie, I just wanted to be friends with her because I thought she was too skinny, and I wanted to cook for her. Because that’s what my family does.” Food was very important to Prinze Jr., and he had a neat idea of how to regularly include Gellar in his passion.

“We started this weekly barbecue thing at her house, and me and my cousins would come over and cook food for her and her friends,” Prinze Jr. continued. “And then we’d make sure everybody ate, and that was kind of how our friendship began.” Over the next few years, the pair would see each other on occasion for meals — but strictly as friends.

This all changed one fateful night in 2000, though. Prinze Jr. and Gellar were meeting up for a meal with a pal — but that pal didn’t manage to catch their plane. The pair met up as a twosome, thinking it’d just be a friendly chat as usual. Yet one thing led to another, and romance began to blossom.

At this fateful impromptu date, Prinze Jr.’s love of food proved once again to be integral to their future relationship. He once revealed on Facebook Live that he knew Gellar was the woman for him because of how she wasn’t afraid to try different foods. He said, “A lot of girls back then in Hollywood, as far as the actresses, they didn’t eat. They ate salad.”

“I had gone on a date with a handful of them — they would never eat what I would eat,” the self-confessed foodie complained. “You have to have that in common with me if we’re going to get along. So, Sarah came to dinner with me, and we sat down, and she ate everything.” To say this charmed Prinze Jr. would be an understatement!

The “everything” that Gellar was willing to eat included, in Prinze Jr.’s words, “a crab that they let walk across the counter, then killed while it was alive in some oil and said, ‘It’s popcorn, try it.’” To his amazement, she was totally game. He fondly remembered, “And she ate it without even blinking, and I was like, ‘Yo, my girl is legit.’”

The couple dated for a few years and, despite both professing that they weren’t interested in marriage, it soon became a reality. “One day, I just knew we’re going to get married and that I was going to propose,” Prinze Jr. told People magazine. “I didn’t know when or how. Fortunately, she was on the same page and my instincts were correct!”

In September 2002 the happy couple tied the knot in Mexico. They then returned home to thriving careers, even co-starring as Daphne and Fred in a couple of Scooby-Doo movies in 2002 and 2004. Gellar finished up her leading role in Buffy in 2003, before starring in successful horror remake The Grudge and its sequel.

Prinze Jr. moved into television around this period, taking up a recurring role in Boston Legal and following that up with his own sitcom, Freddie. At the same time, though, his movie career started to stall, and he began exploring other opportunities. One of these seems leftfield, but actually makes perfect sense: working for World Wrestling Entertainment!

A lifelong wrestling fan, Prinze Jr. was in the crowd for WrestleMania XXIV in 2008 and was soon writing a blog on its website. He was officially hired that year by the company as part of the writing crew and went on to serve as a producer and director within only two years. It gave him a chance to flex different creative muscles than in his acting career.

In 2021 Prinze Jr. explained his writing philosophy to interviewer Chris Van Vliet. He said, “I knew I could write well for talent.” This meant writing things they would say — not necessarily what he would say. Prinze Jr. added, “If all your characters sound like one writer wrote them, you failed. If the wrestler you’re writing for sounds like you, you failed. You failed the wrestler.”

During his time with WWE, Prinze Jr. and Gellar became parents twice over. In 2009 Charlotte arrived, and bouncing baby boy Rocky came along in 2012. Being a father’s hugely significant for Prinze Jr., who grew up without a dad in his life. Sadly, his own father — comedian Freddie Prinze — committed suicide when Prinze Jr. was just a baby.

The emotional star told E! News in 2017, “For me, being a father, not having a dad, it makes it my number one priority. So, when my daughter was born, that was pretty much it for me. I became a full-time father. It’s not a job. It’s what I love to do.”

And the importance of being a good dad played into Prinze Jr.’s decision to leave WWE in 2012. He told Van Vliet that, during a taping of the reality series Tough Enough, wrestling legend Stone Cold Steve Austin made an offhand remark about how he never “won Father of the Year” during his career. It didn’t sit well with Prinze Jr.

The disillusioned star gave his two weeks’ notice to WWE head honcho Vince McMahon. Prinze Jr. told him, “I’m trying to win Father of the Year. I can’t work here anymore.” Yet despite protestations and the promise that he’d soon be promoted to WWE Smackdown’s head writer, Prinze Jr. stood firm. He said, “You know I love you guys, but I’m a dad. I’m out.”

After WWE, Prinze Jr.’s acting roles grew fewer and farther between, while his wife kept working. Their marriage still stayed as strong as ever, though. When asked by Us Weekly about the secret to this seemingly unbreakable union, his answer was fascinating. “There’s no keys,” he admitted. “There’s no rules. There’s nothing like that.” And he then explained his philosophy on relationships.

“I don’t believe in false expectations,” Prinze Jr. explained. “I just believe in knowing who you are when you start a relationship. And if you don’t, then that relationship probably isn’t going to work. For Sarah and I, we’re very private people. We try to make each other laugh, and we both kind of knew who we were.”

When their friendship turned romantic, the Summer Catch star believed it was hugely important that he and Gellar understood each other’s value systems. He then drew a parallel to the movie business, which can chew people up and spit them out if they don’t have a firm handle on their sense of self. To Prinze Jr., it’s not unlike a romantic relationship.

“If you don’t know who you are when you get in that relationship, odds are the other person is going to have a big hand in defining what kind of person you’re going to be,” Prinze Jr. explained. “Or, and worse, if you pretend to be someone else, that’s a lie you’ve got to live forever if you want that relationship to work out forever. So, knowing yourself is sort of the key to doing it.”

Prinze Jr. then gave a great example of how he and Gellar knew themselves right from the beginning, and also accepted each other as they were. He said, “I played video games since I was a little boy. Sarah knew I played video games. If she ever gave me a hard time about playing video games, Sarah and I would not be together. Period. There would be no us.”

“We’d just be friends, because I’m not giving up something I love because you don’t think it’s cool,” Prinze Jr. continued. “And conversely, Sarah likes what she likes. I don’t trash reality television. I don’t trash any. If she digs it, cool. If you love and respect someone, what brings them joy should make you happy, whether you’re involved with it or not.”

Clearly, to Prinze Jr., an important part of a relationship is letting your partner be who they want to be — and do what they want to do. “So, let your girls watch what they want to watch,” he added. “Let your dudes watch what they want to watch. Don’t give them a hard time. And if you find yourself in one of those relationships, maybe it’s time to have a conversation.”

In truth, though, Prinze Jr. has been asked countless times over the years about how he and Gellar keep their marriage so strong. After all, they’re a celebrity couple who’ve made it work for decades, all while operating in an industry that can sometimes seem like Divorce Central. That’s almost unheard of! Here’s what he said when asked about it in 2017 by E! News.

“We were just friends,” the star replied. “That’s one of the reasons I think our relationship has always been so good. We were just friends for a good two years before we ever went on a date. She knew what kind of guy I was. She knew what my morals were, what my priorities were, and vice versa.”

Sound familiar? It should, because it’s effectively the same answer that Prinze Jr. gave three years later to Us Weekly. On this occasion, though, he did elaborate on some other elements that have kept their marriage well balanced. But the honest star admitted that it didn’t happen right away, and they had to work at it.

“It didn’t happen until years after and there was a solid foundation built. And that’s probably the main reason why we’ve always been cool and groovy,” a smiling Prinze Jr. continued. He then confirmed that, in a relationship, laughter’s often the best medicine. The Wing Commander star said, “As long as they can make you laugh, laughter lasts forever.”

This secure foundation allowed the couple to support each other as their careers evolved and changed over the years. Being good parents and ensuring their family life’s in great shape have always been Prinze Jr. and Gellar’s top priorities. But if an appealing opportunity comes along, they’re free to grab it if they want to.

For example, Prinze Jr. made a return to acting in 2021 when he starred in the rebooted Punky Brewster on Peacock. It was his first appearance in a live-action production since he shot a two-episode Bones guest spot in 2014. After that, his only acting credits had been voice work for video games and animated series.

The happy star admitted to People magazine that it wouldn’t have happened if not for some friendly interference by actor pal Brian Austin Green. Prinze Jr. revealed, “I’ve known him forever since he did my sitcom with me back in the day. And he said, ‘Hey man, I know you don’t want a job, but I can’t do it. I’m doing this other job, and I know they would love to hire you.’”

Green encouraged Prinze Jr. to read the script, even though the latter technically wasn’t in the biz anymore. Prinze Jr. loved the original show when he was a kid, and so agreed to give it a look. The rest, as they say, is history, with him admitting, “It’s all because Brian said, ‘Hey, you should read this.’ Otherwise, I seriously would have never even looked at it.”

Fittingly, in the past few years, the only other person who managed to get Prinze Jr. in front of a camera was — you guessed it — his wife! In 2020 he and Gellar filmed an ad spotlighting water conservation in the household, and the experience was fun for both of them. “We had a blast,” Prinze Jr. told Us Weekly.

“We hadn’t done it in so long, because we never wanted to work together — as we just thought that would be a boring movie to watch,” the star joked. “Two people’s struggle to be together for an hour-and-a-half, when you know they go home together every day.” Interestingly, he even admitted that co-starring in 2002’s Scooby-Doo had been mostly a function of circumstance.

“Scooby was this sort of outlier,” Prinze Jr. explained. He and Gellar hadn’t been together long when they got the offer to star in the cartoon blockbuster, and he revealed, “I just didn’t want to be separated for six and a half months with this person that I had just fallen in love with. So, I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ll do that.’ Flew out there and did it.”

So, you see, even back then Prinze Jr. wasn’t prioritising his acting career over his personal life. In fact, he’s seemingly never had any regrets about not pursuing it more, telling People, “Yeah, I didn’t miss it at all when I walked away.” He added, “I had kids and, not having a dad, it was always more important to me to be a present father.” Mission accomplished.